TOS Caption Contest #145: The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: "This reminds me, have we done a phaser inventory lately?"

SPOCK: "Mister Sulu did on last week."

KIRK: "Better have someone double check."

McCOY:"JIM...are you SEEING this?!"

KIRK: "Ouch, that wasn't the stun setting was it?"

McCOY:"Where was SHE when I got divorced?

That's what I wanna know!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

McCOY:"JIM...are you SEEING this?!"

KIRK: "Ouch, that wasn't the stun setting was it?"

McCOY:"Where was SHE when I got divorced?

That's what I wanna know!!"

KIRK: " She would have taken the bones " (rimshot)

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: "Ouch, that wasn't the stun setting was it?"

McCOY:"Where was SHE when I got divorced?

That's what I wanna know!!"

KIRK: " She would have taken the bones " (rimshot)

SPOCK:"Alright. I think we're done here, gentlemen.

For the love of ALL that is just and logical."

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov: "Hey, Khan, we beat yo' asssssss, beeyotch. BOOYEAH! DEES NUTS! <grabs self, thrusts genitals at Khan> DEEEEEEEEEEEZNUTS!"
Kirk: "Ensign, please."
<Khan eyes Chekov as Chekov exits.>

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Lieutenant William Ware Theiss (OS): "And here's Doctor Noel, gentlemen, who has graciously voluteered to model my latest modifications to the female duty uniform. As you can see, the skirt is the same length as before, but now sports these slits up to the hip on both sides, which of course necessitates the elimination of the 'skorts' previously worn underneath. I've also elected to leave the midriff bare and to lower the neckline considerably."

Kirk: "Well done, Mr. Theiss! You've got four major boners..."

Spock: "Uh, five, Captain."

Kirk: "Five major boners at the table here."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: Stoke me a clipper, boys. I'll be back for Christmas... or whatever.

 

[Captain Crow]

Spock: Stoke me a clipper, boys. I'll be back for Christmas... or whatever.

[Red Shirt walks behind Spock]

Red Shirt Ron: What a guy.

[unconvincing rubber crocodile falls on Red Shirt's head.]

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Seriously. Nerys Myk and cooleddie74 need to get a room together."

 

[Shaw]

Guest Starring on Star Trek this week...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Ringo: John, Paul, George, I don't think this is a yellow submarine.

 

[Rat Boy]

Ringo: "Uh, just what sort of video games are we all contracted for?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

George: I've seen this show on the telly, I want a different shirt.

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov: "Seriously, you guys shouldn't be in here doing this. <flushes urinal, zips pants, leaves>"
Scotty: "He dinna wash 'is hands."
Spock: "And he shook his dong like twelve times."

 

[Tribble]

Ringo: John, Paul, George, I don't think this is a yellow submarine.

Kirk: Wait, if I'm in the yellow submarine, then who is on the Enterprise? H.E.L.P!

 

[scottydog]

Ringo Starr-date Number 9, Number 9: Today we return to the 20th century With a Little Help From Our Friends.

 

[Isis]

Spock: "I can't believe I ate the whole thing..."

 

[Isis]

Paul: "This gig isn't half bad, except for that navigator that looks like Davy Jones."

 

[Shatmandu]

<Ringo walks over, ramdomly pushes a button on the console, and the ship explodes.>

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Ringo: "This is getting creepy, mates. Every time I say "Gear!", the big Scottish guy in the kilt's eyes light up!"

 

[Triskelion]

Ringo: He stayed at his post, when the trainees ran.
George: You! What planet is this?
Paul: Mid 20th century Earth. The nation-state called Nazi Germany.
John: Does everyone know about this grain but me?
Ringo: Not everyone, Kepten, it's a Russian inwention.