TOS Caption Contest #145: The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by Shatmandu, Oct 3, 2009.

  1. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    [​IMG]

    Spock: "Indulge my curiosity, Ensign. Your speech impendiment causes you to transpose your v's and your w's?"
    Chekov: "Vhat speech impendiment?"
    Spock: "Indeed. What I wish to know is, is your name actually Chekow?"
    Chekov under breath: "Wulcan Vanker!"
     
  2. Tribble

    Tribble Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Spock, whispering: Captain, you might want to know that your trousers are missing a significant amount of fabric in the area of your behind.
    Kirk: It's supposed to be that way.
    Spock: Human fashion never seizes to surprise me...
    Kirk: Care for a personal lesson in human fashion later in my quarters?

    Later in the Captain's quarters:

    [​IMG]

    Spock: I've done some research. Assless chaps, eh?
    Kirk: I'm glad you caught my drift.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    [​IMG]

    Break time was taken very seriously in the Ministry of Silly Walks. Everyone was encouraged not to walk, and look as serious as possible while doing so.
     
  3. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Location:
    scottydog
    [​IMG]

    Chekov, over intercom: "Repeat, be on de lookout vor a Wulcan Vanker on board de ship. A Wulcan Vanker."
     
  4. Tribble

    Tribble Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Spock: Is it Grignak the Fish-Looking Coffee-Selling Asswipe?
    Chekov shakes his head.
    Spock: Is it Conway Twitty?
    Chekov shakes his head.
    Spock:
    Is it Explosive-Diarrhea McCoy?
    Chekov shakes his head.
    Spock:
    So who is it?
    Chekov turns the padd around:

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Hambone

    Hambone Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2006
    Location:
    Land of cheese, sausage and beer
    [​IMG]

    SPOCK: I want the dog fed, the cat out, and the gate locked. And leave a note for the milkman; no more cheese! Got that?

    Chekov: (murmuring) got it...more cheese.
     
  6. Ryan Thomas Riddle

    Ryan Thomas Riddle Writer and occasional starship commander Premium Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2003
    Location:
    Where No One Has Gone Before
    [​IMG]

    Spock: What do you hear, ensign?
    Chekov: Nothing but the rain, sair.
    Spock: Grab your phaser and bring the sehlat home.
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    [​IMG]

    Spock: B5.
    Chekov: You sank my battleship!

    [​IMG]

    Kirk <over intercom>: Attention crew. From now on Tuesdays will be known as T-days.
    Spock <in background>: What about Thursdays?
    Kirk: Attention crew. Belay that last announcement.

    [​IMG]

    Spock <whispering>: It's my turn to ring the bell.
     
  8. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "We are the committee to determine whether or not this episode needs more cowbell."
     
  9. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Location:
    scottydog
    Mr. Kyle: "I have a fever."

    McCoy: "The prescription for you is more cowbell. <Spock rings bell> Next."

    Chekov: "I haff a weever."

    McCoy: "Nude jumping jacks, Chekov. Nude jumping jacks."
     
  10. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    ^ LOL

    [​IMG]

    Kirk <over intercom>: Attention crew. From now on all duty stations will alternate boy-girl boy-girl.
    Spock <in background>: What about nursing staff?
    Kirk: Attention crew. Belay that last announcement.
     
  11. Ryan Thomas Riddle

    Ryan Thomas Riddle Writer and occasional starship commander Premium Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2003
    Location:
    Where No One Has Gone Before
    [​IMG]

    Spock (reading): "The corps is mother. The corps is father." What corps?
    Chekov: That is for me to know and for you to find out.
     
  12. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Chekov (thinking): Ever since eweryone started mistaking me for Anton Yelchin, dey keep asking for my autogwaph.
     
  13. Kirby

    Kirby Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Location:
    Alt: 5280
    [​IMG]

    Starfleet HR associate (off screen): "This is serious gentlemen, so pay attention. Let's go over 'the Letterman regulation' once again since some of you seem to be having an issue with relations with females who serve under your command. Hey, Kirk, seriously, eyes up here, you need to pay particular attention to this."
     
  14. John Picard

    John Picard Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Spock: <dictating a memo to Starfleet Command> "...with supplies running low. We can barely maintain the temperature of the ship."
    Checkov: <writing>
    Spock: "Boy, it's so cold that my thighs don't know each other anymore."
    Checov: "<mumbling>..thighs don't know each other anymore."
    Spock: "<resigned> Checkov, don't write that part down."

    Inspired by the MASH episode, The Longjohn Flap.
     
  15. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Location:
    scottydog
    [​IMG]

    Spock: "Extricating your hand from the 3-ring binder is a simple matter, Ensign. Simply pop open the rings. Then merely slide your hand off the prong that impales it."

    Chekov: "But Meester Spock, de blood vrom my hend vill ruin my 6th-glade home-vork."

    Spock, mumbling: "3-ring binder... more like 3-ring circus...."
     
  16. johcomp

    johcomp Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2008
    Location:
    Portsmouth, UK
    [​IMG]

    Spock: <dictating> "....and unless payment of 2 million credits is received by next week, I will publicly expose your sexual exploits with female staff members to the entire universe."

    Chekov: "and you vant me to put it een his car, Meester Spock? Vot planet is he on at the moment?"

    Spock: "I believe he is currently stationed on Ceti Alpha 6, Ensign. Please deliver this personally, and don't beam down to the wrong planet"
     
  17. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    :guffaw:

    There's a winner right there.
     
  18. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    [​IMG]

    Vhat'll it be hon?
    Salad with Thousand Island dressing.
    <looks up with one eye>Ve only have Russian dressing.
    Bu - Very well.
    Be right back hon. <rollerskates away>

    [​IMG]


    Kirk <over intercom>: Attention crew. From now on in the interest of a gender-sensitive workplace all crew will wear miniskirts three days a week.
    Spock <in background>: What about Mr Scott?
    Kirk: Attention crew. Belay that last announcement.
     
  19. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Kirk: "Is that Leonidas? I haven't seen him in a while."

    Spock: "I think it is, sir. How very observant of you."

    McCoy: "What the hell is he doing to the Balok Puppet?"

    Scott: "Back home we call that The Kilt Cleaner."
     
  20. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Due to a mix-up back at Starfleet Command by a dyslexic clerk all of the Vulcan Science officers in the Fleet were replaced by doorstops.