TOS Caption Contest #140: Scotty-Centric

[Shatmandu]

Hiya folks.

Another week, another seven pages of dick jokes. Wouldn't have it any other way.

The winners, including two consecutive winners and two new winners, are:

Captain, you forgot your...device.
I've never seen that Enlarger XZ5000 before in my life.

Shatner: Bob, I'm running outta breath!
Justman (off-camera): Give me anymore lip and you'll do another 20 laps. We'll get rid of that belly yet.

It seemed that Spock didn't find his Irritable Bowel induced accident as amusing as the rest of the senior staff...

Slocombean: You are my prisoner and I am unanimous in that.

And the photoshop winner is a newcomer with an obvious great future ahead of him:

Great stuff, all. And a special thanks to the two first time winners.

This week's shots are:

And I'm not sure what we can do with this one, but it's an interesting image:

Joe, circling


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (2x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
captain crow (2x) ****BIG WINNER! WOO-HOO!****
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (23x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Deranged Nastat
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
Dohlman
DrBob (11x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (25x)

goldbug (3x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (12x)
Isis
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Jeri
Johnnyracefan
John_Picard (4x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (9x) ****BIG WINNER/TWICE IN A ROW****
Mistral (2x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (35x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (41!x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (20x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (25x)

Shaw
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Super Grover
Tallis Rhul ****FIRST TIME WINNER! WOO-HOO!****
Tan Ru
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
TheGallifreyanSith
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (18x)

The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (11x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Tribble ****FIRST TIME WINNER! WOO-HOO!****
Triskelion (17x)

****BIG WINNER/TWICE IN A ROW****
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
UssGlenn
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Zachery Smith

Mudd Club

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Aye, the fart jokes'll be as thick as Uhura's bush this week, Cap'n."

Scotty: "Whatever we drank, I want more."

Palamas: "All that haggis-stuffing you did in college paid off."

 

[Gepard]

Slocombean: You are my prisoner and I am unanimous in that.

I don't get it.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "Well, don't look at me like that -- I didn't put it there, it sort of chased me down and rammed itself in there."

Scotty: "Ay, I know, but captain ... I didn't exactly see you put up a struggle..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: All I said was you dont sound Scottish.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Gale force winds and the bloody dress is still intact!!!!

 

[Shatmandu]

Slocombean: You are my prisoner and I am unanimous in that.

I don't get it.

On British TV's Are You Being Served, a great show shown on various PBS stations and BBC America here, there is a character named Mrs. Slocum. Crazy old broad.

She routinely had oddly-colored hair, like the Thrall, and the "I am unanimous in that" line was one of her best.

Again, great show. Years ago, before we could afford cable, it was one of our favorites, along with As Time Goes By.

Joe, wikipedia

 

[Gepard]

^Okay, that's pretty good.

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Grignak says if we don't get Conway Twitty out of the waiting room, they'll kill 'im."

Scotty: "Somebody tell the ship they beamed me fuckin' arm into a rock."

Palamas: "Will you call me?"
Scotty: "Nae."

 

[Shaw]

Anyone got some more quarters?​

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Are you sure Saurian brandy has to be kept at body temperature?"

Scotty: "Aye, Captain. Now bend over."

Aftermath of Starfleet's Annual Nude Jumping Jacks Marathan.

Scotty: "I'm Scottish! I should be wearing the dress!"

 

[scottydog]

Scotty's unusual ear wax build-up was becoming a problem.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: I dinnae know aboot a God, but this rock is so heavy we canna lift it!

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Try to butt in line again, mister, and I'll give you the middle finger."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kirk: "Try to butt in line again, mister, and I'll give you the middle finger."

Scotty: Good, I could use one.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Thanks for the win and good job Captain Crow with the Are You Being Served? joke! Bugger beat me to it!

Scotty: Cap'n, I'm pregnant.
Kirk: What?! But...but...that's impossible. We only did it the one time.

Scotty: I'm frightened, Captain.
Kirk: That's Uhura's line, mister.

Scotty: What can I say, sir? She likes it a bit rough this one does.

Kirk: Do you expect me to talk?
Auric Goldfinger (off-camera): No, Captain Kirk, I expect you to never sing again!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: What was that about the brown acid?

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Was that a fart, or does death itself approach t'both of us?"

Scotty, waking, to self: "If this rock doesn't have a hairy hole, I've got a lot of 'splainin' t'do."

Scotty: "I dinna see an Adam's Apple, but you're packing more wang than a Chinese phone book."

<Kirk squacks out a wet one.>
Scotty: "Jeez. Now I know why Rand left."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Let me out! Velour shrinks in the wash!

Kirk: Soak it to me, baby!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Only $19.99 the James Kirk Captive...er Collectable Plate.