TOS Caption Contest #139: Insert Horrible Pun Here

[Triskelion]

Sporkle: Got any cheeeese? <does a tap dance>
Gene Roddenberry: <drunk in a bar> Leggo my @#$% bottle!

 

[Isis]

Announcer: "Crazy glue--when you just can't afford to have that toupee slip."

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner (out of breath): "You know...maybe next time...you guys should try...walking across the street...instead of running?"

John: "That's a great idea!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"I am at a loss, gentlemen.

How can ALL of you think Woody Allen's later movies are funnier and as good as his earlier work?"

 

[cooleddie74]

SHATNER:"RUN!!!!

Doohan's horny again!!!"

 

[M'Sharak]

Spock really should have known he could expect a response like this when he mentioned
to Kirk that he was considering the acquisition of a pair of assless chaps.

 

[cooleddie74]

ONLY Spock knew.

And he wasn't telling.

Jim would find out about the black widow spider in his chair soon enough.

 

[Tallis Rhul]

It seemed that Spock didn't find his Irritable Bowel induced accident as amusing as the rest of the senior staff...

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Laugh all you want. With my lifespan, I shall watch each of you, in turn, die."
<The others stop laughing, and a cloud of tension covers the Bridge for the next few days.>

Kirk: "Leila Kalomi said you were a lousy lay."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: "Leila Kalomi said you were a lousy lay."

Spock: And Doctor Marcus said your penis was of insignificant measurements.
Kirk (snaps out of it): She said...
Spock: Small. Very small, Captain.
(Everyone else continues laughing)

 

[Smellincoffee]

"Beeeelaaaaaaayyy thaaaat phaaaaasssseeeerrr orrrdeeeerrrrr!"

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Dammit, all the red ones are gone."

 

[Hambone]

McCoy: Breath mint?

Kirk: I know.

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Bones, are you trying to cockblock me?

Kirk: Heavens to Murgatroyd! Exit, stage left!

 

[cooleddie74]

Spock was humiliated.

T'Pring told everyone about his tiny penis.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Not now, Bones. I'm exhausted.

Come back later, though...and...wear the leather apron."

KIRK:"Olly Olly HAIRPLUG-free!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Where'd you find that?"

McCoy: "Where'd you think?"

Both: "Sulu's quarters."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock (off-camera): Jim, John Lennon must die!
Kirk: But I believe I'm in love with John!

 

[Isis]

Spock: "She asked if we could 'do it doggie style.' I fail to understand this reference to the domesticated canine subspecies."

 

[Bad Atom]

Chekov really wanted a green chick, but had to settle for yellow.

Kirk puckers up for his next injection of space collagen.

Thinly veiled racism is FUNNY!

"Hope there's more to life than this
Better be more to life than just
Spinning in circles
Spinning in circles
A one, two, one, two
Spinning in circles
Spinning in circles
The end"