TOS Caption Contest #139: Insert Horrible Pun Here

[Gil T.Azell]

Alien: "I'm from Hermashia why do you ask?"
Chekov: "Um my name is Sulu.. yea Hikaru Sulu.."

McCoy: "Orion slave girls again Jim?"
Kirk: "They were triplets"

Spock's refused to admit he had cut the cheese.

Kirk: "Dam malfuctioning Tri-corder should have let me know her Husband was comming through the door"

 

[Triskelion]

Vhere are all these bees coming from?

 

[Rat Boy]

And now a glimpse at the beta for Star Trek Online...

FoxxyUhura: "ROFL."

CountryDoctor: "LOL."

BigJimKirk: "LMAO."

Scotchy: "You just got pwned!!!!!!"

RussianInwention: "FAIL!"

Spock666: "Stupid n00bs."

 

[Shatmandu]

Thrallina: "Do the women on your planet have teeth in their vaginas? <a chomping sound comes from her panties>"

Kirk: "What do your heightened Vulcan senses tell you I had for dinner? <he grunts out a one-cheek-squeak>"

Spock: "I'm starting to appreciate Earth humor."
<He suddenly twists Kirk's head completely around, kicks Chekov in the throat, punches his fist through Scotty's skull, knees McCoy's intestines out his asshole, and licks Uhura's throat.>
Spock: "Fascinating."

 

[SantaEddie74]

TAMOON:"What is...Cleveland Steamer?

Can I do it for you? My Provider would be VERY pleased!"

BONES:"Seriously, Jim.

Take one. Your damn breath is like a rotting sehlat in the Vulcan midday sun."

Spock couldn't quite wrap his head around it...

Nun says same as in town?

Shatner's attempts to purge the last remaining celluloid copies of his Esperanto film from storage failed...embarrassingly.

 

[SantaEddie74]

CHEKOV:"M-m-m-m-miss?

C-Could you...not stare at me...please?

I can't use de toilet if somevone is staring at me."

 

[Alrik]

CHEKOV:"I forgeet. Vat vas de seef vord egain?"

 

[SantaEddie74]

Chekov no longer cared if the carpet matched the drapes.

The entire room was now frightening to him.

 

[SantaEddie74]

Spock constantly regretted being the target of the other officers' gay gerbil jokes.

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov, loudly: "Captain, should I do it?"
Kirk, loudly: "It's not like you've got other broads beating down your door, man ..."

McCoy: "You all right? Look like shit."
Kirk: "Yeah. I just heard what Grignak is doing to McCheese in the waiting room."
McCoy: "Hitting his prostate like a speed-bag?"

McCoy: "... so then the Vulcan hooker says, 'Bring a friend: I'm used to two being shoved up there.'"
<Five laugh. One does not, and the fire builds.>

 

[Captain Crow]

Reporter: Captain Kirk! Captain Kirk! Is it true you're wearing a toupee?

Kirk: Well... Uh...

Reporter: If you're not can you explain why the hair on the top doesn't match the hair on the sides?

Kirk: Well it's... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!

[Kirk runs off]

Running Kirk: Run, run as fast as you can jerk; You can't catch me, I'm the Running Kirk.

[runs into a lamp post]

Kirk, singing: Run like an Egyptian.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Sorry, the Road Runner was sick this week and I volunteered for this picture. Meep, meep!"

 

[M'Sharak]

"That many, Bones? Uhm... "
"And this is just the first pass."
"Uhm... "

"Gene Kelly?! He can eat my Starfleet-issue shorts. Now watch this!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Chekov: Whelp, at least, your wagina is in the right place, right?
Tamoon: If you mean underneath my armpit...then, yes it is in the right place.
Kirk (off-camera): A moist hole is a moist hole, son! Just do it!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy, checking readings: "I warned you: that last 'pull my finger' gag made your ass prolapse."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: The readings confirm it. You've put on a few pounds, Jim. I'm recommending Jenny Craig.
Kirk: My new yeoman?
McCoy: No, your new diet plan.

McCoy: Says here that your pants are going south and your hair is going north.

 

[tharpdevenport]

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: Chicken?

McCoy: Ice cream cone?

McCoy: Pinwheel?

McCoy: Penis rock?

 

[johcomp]

People in Packed Turbolift: Jesus Christ!! Who's dropped their guts?!?!?!?!

Running Kirk: Hahahahaha!!!! Kirk Out!!!!


PS - What ep is this cap from??

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

CHEKOV:"I forgeet. Vat vas de seef vord egain?"

"Wyvern"

Chekov offscreen: "Vywern! Vywern! Aaaaaarghhh Aaaaargghh! Vywern! Aaaaaaarrrrrggghhh!!"

Kirk: "Barbarians, I'm not hanging around here."