TOS Caption Contest #138: Intentions, Good and Bad

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Floyd: Shave and a haircut, young man... two pence.

 

[Isis]

Leslie to yellow shirt (trying not to show the full extent of his agitation): Careful how you point this thing...what planet did you get your license on?

 

[Triskelion]

Edith Spocker: I'm going to jump in front of a truck.
Kirk: You can do anything you want. Tomorrow morning.

Kirk: Ensign McCheese, clear a path through those asteroids.
McCheese: If I could do that I wouldn't need this inflatable donut.

 

[cooleddie74]

LESLIE:"Don't get down, man.

You may have to pull the night shift...but you get overtime for it. PLUS Uhura rarely wears panties this time of night."

 

[cooleddie74]

FLOYD:"Ooooooooh...Ernest T. Bass is NOT gonna like this ONE bit! She's HIS squeeze!!"

 

[Triskelion]

Floyd: Ooooh... Miss Clara doesn't like any out of towners in the county fair trollop contest. She's going to rip you a new cornhole.

 

[Rat Boy]

Floyd: Shave and a haircut, young man... two pence.

Kirk: "Wait a minute. Floyd's really British?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Floyd: Shave and a haircut, young man... two pence.

Kirk: "Wait a minute. Floyd's really British?"

Edith: "The way he slurs his words, he's either Irish or he's had a stroke."

 

[Shatmandu]

Edith: "It was nice, but why did you yell out 'BOO-YEAH!' as you ... finished?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Leslie and McCheese try to make sense of the new Trek Nation sites.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LT COMMANDER MCCHEESE: Yeah, so I'm just chillin' here till I get my own command. It's in the works.

LESLIE: Riiiiiight

 

[Nerys Myk]

EDITH: Going in won't make you gay.

KIRK: But Gomer...

 

[Rat Boy]

Floyd: Shave and a haircut, young man... two pence.

Kirk: "Wait a minute. Floyd's really British?"

Edith: "The way he slurs his words, he's either Irish or he's had a stroke."

Kirk: "Wait a minute, that must explain Scotty!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Edith: "Does the blowjob come before or after the haircut?"
Kirk: "During. Spock lost one of his ear tips last week."

Edith: "Your friend Spock wears that sock hat all the time. Is he bald?"
Kirk: "No, he has pointed ears, is from another planet, and sports a split dick."
Edith, swatting him: "Oh, you ..."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Floyd: Pssst. Some advice young man. If you wanna keep the lady, make sure to give her a pearl necklace.
Kirk: But all the jewelery stores are closed this time of night.

 

[Shatmandu]

Floyd: "Psst! Miss, he lives with a swarthy foreigner. Danger. DANGER!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

EDITH: Are you sure Spock's from China?

KIRK: He's a Uyghur

 

[Rat Boy]

EDITH: Are you sure Spock's from China?

KIRK: He's a Uyghur

Floyd: "Bless you."

 

[Triskelion]

Opie, condoms are three for a nickel this week.

 

[cooleddie74]

EDITH:"Your friend Spock...

Is he a homosexual lover or something?"

KIRK:"What gives you that idea?"

EDITH:"I wasn't born yesterday, Mr. Kirk. Come on. Even President Wilson could notice that tension and he's been dead for six years!"