TOS Caption Contest #138: Intentions, Good and Bad

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Floyd: Pssst. Nobody does a Dirty Sanchez like Ms. Keeler over there.

Lt. Commander "Bob": Ya know, Leslie, someday I'm gonna get the big chair.
Leslie: Too bad your ass'll be bigger than it.

Leslie: Hey, Bob, Sulu says you'll show me what a Cleveland Steamer is.

Leslie: Hey, Beckwith, I'm jonesing for some Jewels. Hook a cat up will ya?

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCHEESE: The planet's coming up pretty fast. Is this the right button?

LESLIE: No clue. I'm a redshirt, we specialize in killing and getting killed.

 

[Captain Crow]

Edith: Jim, darling, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you. I've got a pork sausage in my panties.

Kirk: I'm not allowed to have pork products.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Edith: Jim, darling, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you. I've got a pork sausage in my panties.

Kirk: I'm not allowed to have pork products.

Your Kirk response is funnier than mine.

 

[Captain Crow]

Floyd: I'm getting an Aunt Bee BJ, come back later.

Floyd: Pssst. I've got my dick caught in the floor vent again.

 

[Shatmandu]

Edith: "I'm a gymnast with no morals, sphincter muscles, or gag reflex."
Floyd: "YOUR MOTHER STILL LIVING?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Tell you what, why don't I let my friend drive you home. His name's Ted."

 

[Shatmandu]

Edith: "I think men in the future won't come so quick."

Shatner: "Well, be careful with your acting choices: there's no money in being a bitch."

 

[cooleddie74]

EDITH:"Did you serve together in the war or something?"

KIRK:"No...but he DOES like to dress in Navy outfits a lot."

 

[cooleddie74]

MIKE:"Don't ask, man.

LONG night. I...I just don't wanna talk about it...okay?"

LESLIE:"Sure. Whatever you say.

But we can all smell the Astroglide, you know."

 

[JB2005]

Spock: Where is the pin from that novelty oversized grenade?

 

[cooleddie74]

DENEVAN:"Hey...Vulcan!!

Hand over the 20th century plumber's toolbox...or I bean you with this comically oversized toy soldier's windup key!!!"

 

[Alrik]

Floyd: "Carefull there young man. She can suck the chrome right of the bumper of a '32 Ford."

 

[cooleddie74]

FLOYD:"STOP pushing on me, Goober...y-you...you can peek after I'M finished. And zip those trousers up!!"

 

[Mistral]

Wally waited patiently, hoping that when Nimoy came along he'd autograph his ring-on-a-stick.

 

[Mistral]

Leslie: "You're gonna do something, right?"

Bob: "I dunno, man, I'm so high I just...(*mumble, mumble, mumble*)...."

Leslie: "Dude, can you even see that asteroid?"

 

[Mistral]

"I can't believe no one has ever mentioned that giant mole on your right cheek."

 

[cooleddie74]

When the Enterprise got the call about the broken pipe, Spock didn't quite realize HOW it was going to end up broken.

 

[Captain Crow]

Floyd: Pssst. She likes it when you squeeze her butt cheeks together and beat one off.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK:Here comes Deputy Fife.

KIRK: This time if he asks you out, act interested.