TOS Caption Contest #135: Personal Interaction
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Spock: I believe I asked you to come to my quarters in your "I Dream of Jeannie" outfit. As you can see I already redecorated it to look like the inside of her bottle.
Kirk: I'm going to tell you kids the story of the wobbly willy that got stiff.
Kirk: Have you kids ever seen "Deep Throat"?
Kirk: Ya know, this room does look a little like the interior of the Jupiter 2.
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Spock: "Fine. But that was the last time I play poker with you. <stands; removes pants>"
Kirk: "I think I played Naked Ring Toss with your mother a few years ago."
Kirk: "Irishmen? Drunken, potato-eating bastards."
Girl: "And the French?"
Kirk: "Ugh. Pedantic, cheese-smelling asswipes."
Ugly Red-Headed Boy: "Russians?"
Kirk: "If a Russian told me water was wet, I'd go out in the rain to check first. Lying is like breathing to them."
<Kids giggle.>
Standing Kid: "Catholics?"
Kirk: "Pope-loving Mary-worshippers, who've had sex eight times and have eight kids."
Asian Kid: "Canadians?"
Kirk: "Anything above Chicago should be given to the elk. Next?"
SPOCK:"I see.
You DO indeed have three testicles. Fascinating. The rumors were not false, then."
KIRK:"I don't want to get any of your individual or even collective hopes up, kids...but there's a more-than-passing chance I'm the father to one or more of you!"
You're here to check my secret Vulcan inner sphincter?
Chapel: Three fingers, no more.
Spock: Agreed, but I must be allowed to go up to the knuckles.
Chapel: Fine.
Kirk: I saw a dickfor.
Little Girl: What's a dickfor?
Kirk: Ask your mother.
Kirk:Out!
Little Girl: I just said it looks like a dead tribble on your head.
Kirk: I said out! And don't let shuttlebay doors hit your collective asses on the way out!
Chapel: But Mr Spock...where's your banjo?
Spock: There is no banjo, Christine.
Finnegan. "Ahrgg no Jim I just had me nipples pearced!"
Kirk " And if you study real hard you can all become Red Shirts, join my crew and I'll get you all killed on some furr an distant planet"
Spock: ( Quickly hides glossy magazine )
" Dont you know how to knock Miss Chappel!"
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Spock: "Menstruation doesn't bother me, Christine."
Finnegan: "Tis that a potato in yer pocket, Jimmy-Boy?"
Spock: "This is the party. <pats bed>"
Kirk: "Oh, I never eat ice cream."
Girl: "Then why are you wearing a girdle?"
Spock: "I don't think it smells like Scotty in here at all."
Spock, looking her over, then sighing: "Never thought I'd be horny enough to do you, but here we go ..."
Nurse: "So ... you haven't had sex in six years, repress all your emotions, and ..... say -- that's a lot of sharp objects you got hanging around here..."
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