TOS Caption Contest #135: Personal Interaction
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Kirk: Babies are made when the man puts his "beef" in the woman's "taco".
Kirk: Go away kids, ya bother me.
(*cheesy porn music blares*)
"Looks like YOU need a little Level 1 Scanning, Finnegan..."
"First one's free, kids.
Then we negotiate for a price in the closet over there."
"Well, the green guy doesn't laugh, the doctor complains and the fat guy in the red shirt-he drinks too much. The young guy can't talk right, and the guy with the slanted eyes-you boys want to watch out for him."
Little girl: "What about you, Captain Kirk?"
"Sweetie, you need to watch out for me."
Kirk: My hair is real and spectacular.
Finnegan: It's alright, Jimmy me boy. The pedophilia jokes were a foregone conclusion in a caption contest about children.
Kirk: <sob> THE CHILDREN!!! THE CHILDREN!!!
Spock: I'm sorry Nurse Chapel, but I have had my share of the Crying Game.
Chapel: Once every seven years?
Spock: Once in never years for you, I'm afraid, Nurse Chapel.
Kirk burps Finnegan.
Kirk: You know bareback isn't just a type of horse riding kids.
Kirk: I like to wear girl's underwear too.
Chapel: What are you doing in my quarters Mr. Spock?
Spock: As you can plainly see I've got my hand caught in your underwear drawer.
(Door hisses open)
Spock: Ah, Miss Chapel. I knew it was you.
Chapel: You could hear me coming?
Spock: No, Miss Chapel. I could smell you. Vulcan olfactory receptors are quite sensitive, and you do exude a faint stench of rancid tuna left out on a sandy shore.
Spock: My collection of weaponry is nothing compared with my collection of medieval pleasure devices.
Chapel: But they're all checked in cargo storage with your racing motorcycle and triathalon medals, right?
Spock: Logically.
Kirk: Do me a favor. Run and get Dr McCoy. Tell him my plasma exhaust is exploding again. He'll understand.
