TOS Caption Contest #135: Personal Interaction

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "You misunderstood: the phrase 'Plomeek Soup' is Vulcan code for 'violent prostate massage.'"

Chapel: "Oh. You're here. I just came to change the tape in my hidden bathroom camera."

Kirk: "This room? Never seen it before."

El Spock: "I'm not just some chilupa you can pick up on your way home from work, you know? I have feelings."

Kirk: "Spock's got two, sure, but ... <makes gesture>"

 

[Tan Ru]

Finnegan: Canceled after only three seasons?!?! Oh why?! Why can't they give us a chance?! Oh the humanity............. Now where am I gonna find work???

KirK: That's right, I pulled a foolie on Nurse Chapel; she thinks that I'm gonna only have a small portion of ice-cream; in reality I can have as much as I damn well please back in the privacy of my cabin.

Nurse Chapel: I just told you Mister Spock, you cannot have the soup in this creepy, freakazoid bedroom! It's out on your workstation, now go eat it while it still has that thick scummy film on its surface that you seem to enjoy so much... [Christine shudders]

 

[cooleddie74]

FINNEGAN:"Momma always said you pranked better!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Michael Jackson is gone now, kids.

I'd say it's safe to go back to the New Neverland Colony...wouldn't you?"

SPOCK:"No, Christine.

I wasn't aware that you left a medical scanner down my pants. Care to come look?"

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Since I've banged just about everything in a skirt from Earth to Gallifrey, yes that includes a few shapley men on some planets and Sulu, there is a small chance I could be your father or perhaps you parents' father or even both your and your parents' father.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Let you brats live on a starship? That shit ain't happening so long as I'm alive."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Have you kids ever heard of "Two Girls, One Cup"?

Kirk: Kids, the best thing to do to a woman is twist her nipples and give her a motor boat like this.

 

[Isis]

Kirk: I know you're really trying, Finnegan, but somehow I don't think we ready just yet for Dancing With the Stars.

 

[Mistral]

Finnegan: "I was fine until I read CoolEddie's posting!"

Kirk: "I know, I know, but he can't help himself."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: Oh, Finnegan, so you don't think this belt makes me look fat. I knew I could count on you.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wait a minute. I have a phaser. Why don't I just shoot the bastard?"

 

[Drob]

Worst slowdance ever.

-or-

Vampire Kirk strikes again.

Guy in corner: <singing to himself>
"Drinkin' on my coffee... Shittin' in the plants... Gonna serve more ice cream... Never wash my hands..."

El Spock: "You must be this <inhales deeply> *high* to ride ~El~Spock~"

 

[Triskelion]

Yes yes yes! I'm Mrs Kirk! You've made me the happiest girl alive!

And then there was the three-breasted hooker I met on Risa. She gave me the clap.

 

[Nerys Myk]

FINNEGAN: I just don't know how to quit you.

KIRK: A bear in a hat and tie took all the food?

 

[NathanielM]

Finnegan: Kirk baby, please Please gimmie a HUG!!!

Kirk: If i do please just shut uuup!

Kirk: Yea and I was this close to being Gigalo Captain of the year.. Damn it... Starfleet had seleted Captain Carl Spock...

Carl Spock: Hey christine, come here and take a hit, this Tribble shiit is GOOOOD

 

[NathanielM]

Finnegan: Left two three four, hey don't stomp on my toes, I'll teach you in six easy lessons how to Tango, Kirk baby, just have patience. Ruth will be impressed.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Chapel: "For two weeks now, all people have been able to see is my backside."
Spock: "... and your complaint is?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "How would I know who drilled two Vulcan-penis-sized holes in your wig?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Finnegan: "Give your favorite etnhic caricature a hug, Jimmy-boy! Too-rah-loo! Shore-n-begorrah! Potatoes and alcoholism!"

Kirk: "How much did I love your Mommy?"

El Spock: "Show me the money, then I give you the nerve pinch."
<Chapel fumbles with packet of credits.>
El Spock, disgustedly: "Fuckin' nerve-pinch addicts are the worst ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Finnegan: "Ow! He bit me ear! He bit off me fuckin' ear!"