TOS Caption Contest #134: Outpost4? Come In, Outpost4!

[RobertScorpio]

"Okay," Chapel said, "its time for your anal exams. Who goes first?"

"Ummm," Kirk says, "where is a RED SHIRT when you need one?"

 

[Jptrekker]

Sombreros?

 

[SilentP]

Bones: Now remember, Jim, Chapel's got a mean right hook, so watch out for it...

Chapel: Yo, Cap, step on the line already. This grudge match ain't gonna fight itself.

 

[Triskelion]

McCoy: Ok that's enough test driving, Chapel. The captain wants his ass back.

(as if I'd kick her out of bed)....

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: She's got no clue that Uhura's already in there with Spock.
McCoy: No clue.
Kirk: Oh, this is gonna be the best girl-on-girl fight ever.

 

[Tan Ru]

Wha'diya mean that my face looks wider than it is tall???

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

"Foreplay?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Why would two girls only need one cup?"
McCoy: "Watch and learn ..."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Go down on you? Oh, no no, not until you douche. Right now, you smell worse than week-old tuna salad that's been left out in the Vulcan sun.

 

[EEE]

Leonard, it was only a joke!

On your mark, get set... I said on your mark Chapel. Back up!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Spock, I gotta go tinkies and I don't like walking to the outhouse alone."

Spock: *sigh*

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Your 20th century song said it was 'fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.'"
Kirk: "Yeah?"
Spock: "Some guy just offered to blow me in the pool toilet."

Spock, on ship-wide intercom: "All crew: internal sensors just alerted that someone's control top panty hose were about to fail ..."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Santa Claus isn't real?"

Kirk: "I'm not supposed to eat my own feces?"

Shatner: "Nimoy gets more fan mail?"

Kirk: "It falls off with overuse?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Slash fiction?

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Nyota?"

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "I'm sorry Spock, but it's your own fault. I said, 'let's go in', but no. You of all people should know, you get fucked at the drive thru."

Chapel: "Does this skirt make my ass look big?"

Kirk: "Why no nurse. Your ass makes your ass look big."

 

[battrekker]

"Leonard found his bike?"

"I sent a Corvette of a cliff?"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Dammit Spock, if you're going to jerk off, at least turn the light out!"

"Nurse Chapel! Don't by coy, you know you find my gut and man-boobs sexy!"

"Dammit, Bones, I'm giving you a DIRECT ORDER! Now, do I, or do I not, have something in my teeth?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"Dammit Spock, if you're going to jerk off, at least turn the light out!"

Spock: "I would, but I don't have a hand free."

 

[Alpha_Geek]

Shatner: Pine? I'm being replaced by a tree???