TOS Caption Contest #124 - 8 Days A Week

[highlander]

Chekov: "Keptin, permission to blow dis motherfucker out of de sky!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What? I always get gassy when I'm nervous."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Chekov: Shall I fire the phasers now, keptain? Or wait until one of them makes a fat joke at your expense?

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Fuggin' Chinese bootlegs ..."

Kirk: "I think it's time you led up a landing party, Mister Scott."
Scotty, under breath: "Ah, shite."

Ambassador Suki: "Your man Sulu has elected to stay with us, Captain."
Sulu, off-screen on-screen: "He's not bullshitting you."

Kirk: "I ordered it. It'll be here next week."

Kirk: "I'll be beaming down immediately. Don't wait up."

Kirk: "Set time travel coordinates for Earth, circa 1976."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, offscreen, under breath: "At least when I fall in love with a robot, it has tits."

Spock: "With a little more work, I can set Nomad to roll over the caption contest with more regularity than we currently enjoy."
Kirk: "Do it."

 

[Outpost4]

^ I'm going to get Kirk to blow up your damn computer, Shatmandu!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Chekov: Homosexuality was a Russian inwention.

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatmandu managed to offend the sensibilities of Sulu, Chekov, and Tal.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Captain, I do not believe this mechanism was even meant to play BluRay discs."

 

[NTRPRZ]

Commander? Commander? Damn, another dropped call. !!$@*& Verizon!

 

[NTRPRZ]

Oh, is that you, Myrt? How's every little thing, Myrt?

 

[NTRPRZ]

I'm going to hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George!

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: I'm the ninth caller? Gentlemen, we're going to a monster truck show for free!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: I find that this device is quite electric.

-or-

Kirk learns that "AC/DC" had a different slang meaning than the one on Earth.

 

[highlander]

Chekov: "Keptin is dat you or Patrick Swayze?"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock:"Captain it want me to tell you to, stay away from drugs, gangs, and cyberporn on the Internet and you can be Admiral some day."

Romulan:" Not now dear, I trying to put some fear into the Federation type, ok, ok, I'll pick up some milk and eggs on the way home."

Chekov: " Fuck talk about pussy whipped!"

 

[highlander]

Spock: "Dude we can totally make a bong out of this!!!!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Romulan: Yeah. Yeah. That would totally rock, Shelia. Hey. Hey. Hold on, I gotta intimidate some wuss Federation captain. Okay. Okay... really, I have to do this.
Chekov: Vhat an asshole!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: This episode is boring. Fast forward to the good parts

KIRK: Yeah!!! That's what I'm talking about!

 

[Outpost4]

It was Rand's night off and the captain wanted ground pepper on his salad...