TOS Caption Contest #121 - Hands On

[Balthier the Great]

I must dance bare-foot on her wedding day
And for your love to her lead apes in hell.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MUDD: Breeders.

 

[M'Sharak]

"Spock, what's happened to your teeth?"​

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Big-teeth guy: You sure have a pruty mouth, Mr. Shatner.
*Banjo music starts playing*

 

[Nerys Myk]

Slick Jim: I'm telling you pal, that land in Iowa is gonna be worth a ton a money in the future.

Dork: Okydoky. I'll buy it!!!!

Slick Jim: Sucker

Dork: Sucker.

 

[M'Sharak]

 

[Triskelion]

You're violating the Federation Charter! For God's sake, make Scott wash his feet!

- I can't wait to get the new choppers, Billy Boy! Then it'll be bye bye exaggerated features freak boy, hello normal looking dude!
- Sure, Spock. I mean Leonard.

Wait til he finds out why smooth-cheeked Barbie is priced to move.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "But she said she was eighteen!"

 

[cooleddie74]

GOSSETT:"Wow!

She really does have a vagina!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"You expect us to sit in a humid brig cell in velour that shrinks as bad as THIS SHIT does?!"

 

[Hambone]

GIRL: Where are the transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans?

MINER: We intercepted no transmissions...(*choke*) this is a consular ship...we're on a diplomatic mission...

MUDD: I hate these conventions.

 

[cooleddie74]

GOSSETT:"Mudd...you might dress like a gay space pirate who can't get laid to save his soul...

but you sure don't DELIVER PUSSY like one!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"You honestly think two vertical flourescent light tubes and some velour is going to keep us from escaping?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Gossett: Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
Mudd: Oh, boy.

 

[cooleddie74]

MUDD:"Wait your turn, Childress!

She doesn't take too long...especially when she whips out BOTH her genitals."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I don't care if Shatmandu is busy with his new job, we've been in here for days and there've been no 'Uhura has a giant bush' jokes. And Scotty's not going to bugger himself, you know!"
Spock: "I beg to differ."

 

[cooleddie74]

"THREE WEEKS in the brig for reading Cooleddie threads?

Outrageous!!!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

GOSSETT:"...I'll say one thing, Mudd.

Your women don't have penises."

 

[Shatmandu]

Mudd, to himself: "She's had more spins that a bus tire, laddy."

 

[cooleddie74]

MUDD:"No deal, Laddy Buck.

Harry Mudd don't allow for no Sloppy Seconds."