TOS Caption Contest #121 - Hands On

[Outpost4]

Happy 2009, everyone. May it be a prosperous, peaceful and funny new year!

Last week I couldn't make up my mind as to the winners. This week was the opposite. I knew before I sat down this morning who the winner of one of the captions would be. Another was decided very early on in my willowing of the entries; I was sure it would eventually win even as I selected other captions. The last one was picked in the more standard way for me, by pulling a number of submissions and then cutting those down to one.

I'll let you figure out who was which.

Our winners are Alyssa, M'Sharak and Ward Fowler. This is Ward Fowler's third win in as many weeks. Nice posting, dude.

An unhealthy attraction to a co-worker, shakey morals and a cabinet of sedatives are never a good mix.

The Pain Band kick off their "Monsters of Spock" tour.

Kirk suffers through yet another "Bring Your Bastard To Work Day".

This next week we have Mudd mugging, the crew in the brig and a bonus pic of William Shatner at 23, starring in The Taming of the Shrew. This last picture came from our friends at Trekcore, where you can find a much larger version of it.

Looks a little like Chris Pine, doesn't he?



TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa (2x)

Plus one this time for a total of 3!
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (19x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (10x)
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)
DS9Sega (5x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (22x)

goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (6x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
John_Picard (3x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (3x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (9x)

Plus one this time for a total of 10!
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (22x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (15x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (32x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (18x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (20x)

shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
Super Grover
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (13x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (11x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (2x)

Plus one this time for a total of 3!
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Mudd: Maybe I should slip him some Venus Drug.

Kirk: What? Pulling down my shirt doesn't make me look like a captain?

"Lose the teeth, Nimoy, and we can talk."

 

[cultcross]

"Spock, tell McCoy to stop pulling my pants down!"

"Look, it's very sweet that you care so much, but I haven't been approached for the new Trek film."

 

[Shatmandu]

Mudd, softly: "Thank God for modern medical science and the advancements in Adam's Apple removal ..."

Kirk: "One toilet?"

Hick: "I love you on Star Track, Captain Kirk."

 

[Outpost4]

"No, I'm not wearing a girdle. I don't care what you think you saw."

 

[Outpost4]

Mudd: She said she wanted somebody who bald alot. What do I look like, some fucking genie?

 

[Rat Boy]

Mudd: "Pimpin' ain't easy."

Mirror Kirk: "Wait a minute, if you're beard is gone, then that means..."

Spock: "Correct. I am shaved down there as well."

Mirror Uhura: "Why hello, sugah."

Shatner: "Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk; Maybe a spell in the brig will cool you off mister!
McCoy; Uh, Jim, we're the ones in the cell.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "You shifty Vulcan, they said you were hung!"

Spock: "And they were right."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Mudd: That's no ordinary space ho. That's a tranny, baby! Yeah!

Kirk: What the hell do you mean I look fat in this shirt?

Shatner: Leonard... pleasure to meet you, now don't forget I'm the star and you will have less lines then me on this -- what is it? -- Star Track...Trek.

 

[Ward Fowler]

Always with the erotic asphyxiation.

You want Scotty?!? But you said that I could be your prison bitch!

Before sex, Spock loves to role play Of Mice and Men.

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "Aww, c'mon! The shitter's clogged, we're hungry, and Scotty smells like a three-day old dead Denebian Slime Devil."

Spock: "As I said before, no one gets out until whomever stole my lucky underwear fesses up."

Scotty: "Who're you callin' a Slime Devil?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: No! I will not be the bitch in a prison gangbang!

 

[Maurice]

MUDD: <sniff> He didn't pick me! I could just die!

SHATNER: You can't lock me up in here with Jimmy and Nichelle! They hate me! The moment De's asleep, it's <throat slash> for me!

Sybok wasn't Spock's only embarrassing half-brother. There was Shemp for one...

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "But Spock, you know what removing my belt will do."

Spock: "Sir, it is time for others, besides myself, to see your Scooby-Doo boxers."

Shatner: "Congratulations, Nimoy. Your overbite exceeds my overacting."

 

[26138]

Kirk: Spock, you mean we don't really have to do the nude jumping jacks?

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Tell me about the sehlats, Jim.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: You'll get a break when you master the choreography.

Now from the top."When you're a Jet..."

 

[Outpost4]

"Star Trek, starring Leonard Nimoy. Just see how far that gets you, pal."

"Watch, she kills him within the week."

 

[cooleddie74]

HARRY:"I said the women would be enhanced, Mister Childress.

NOT your sorry, grungy asses."