TOS Caption Contest #117 - Feet Don't Phallus Now

[cooleddie74]

Anna Nicole and her husband wouldn't stop lobbying for walk-on cameos until the network gave in.

 

[Rat Boy]

Dr. Wallace: "While I'm not completely familiar with Vulcan physiology, I believe there should be two."

McCoy: "That better?"

 

[cooleddie74]

WALLACE:"I for one will never understand your obsession to grow your own strain of meter-long baked potatoes right here in this sickbay."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Wallace: One end is for me and the other end is for you.
McCoy: Damnit, woman, I'm a doctor, not some fetish porn star.

 

[DrBob]

Thanksgiving day
Bones: "But it's the best part of the turkey!"
Wallace: ...
Bones: "Gobble gobble!"

Kirk: "That's... a. Largepieceofpaper."

Spock: "Ouch! Somebody has to de-claw our friend Sulu here." <muttering> "Third fuckin' uniform in a month..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KOR: Its just a rough draft, I'm particularly fond the the character of Commander Koor and how he saves Kahless and the Empire.

KIRK: What's Klingon for "Mary-Sue"?

 

[Rat Boy]

Wallace: "I'm pretty sure it has to be longer."

McCoy: "Longer?"

Wallace: "Trust me on that."

 

[Gertch]

"Doctor, it's Sulu. You have to help me. I used Janet Lester's machine and now I can't stand to see myself naked. But I do like your conversation piece."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Wallace: "Romulan marijuana? Isn't that illegal Doctor?"

McCoy: "I've got a border ship that brings me in a crate every once in a while. Now don't be a prig Wallace."

 

[Outpost4]

Wallace: I had no idea Viagra came from a plant, Doctor.

 

[Shatmandu]

Wallace: "Your Mister Sulu just left, walking funny."
McCoy, sniffing: "You-you-YOU smell that?"

Wallace: "I'd ... be glad ... to return this to the delegation from Jamaicanax IV."
McCoy: "Mind-mind-MIND your knees this time, hussy."

 

[Outpost4]

Kor: I thought you, of anyone, would appreciate Shakespeare in its original Klingonese.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, reading: "'Klingon Commander shall have free and unfettered access to the lodgings of any swarthy stableboy, as deemed necessary by said Commander.'"
Kor: "The Klingon Rules of Occupation are very clear ..."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Why the big sheet of paper and the large print?
Kor: There is no honor in reading glasses.

 

[Rat Boy]

*After watching the Boston Legal finale*

Takei: "I KNEW it!"

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: Damn it Kor, you're off key again. One more time from the top.

Kirk/Kor: You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen........

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Did you even put the mauve chip up against the furniture?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Denny Crane: "Wait a minute, you can get a gay marriage in Massachusetts but not a gay divorce?"

 

[highlander]

Bones: "Well, after years of research and buckets of blood,sweat and tears I finally have the cure for zero-G hemorrhoids."
Wallace: "Shall I remove the foil and call in Mr. Sulu?"

 

[highlander]

Wallace: "Well Doctor, the "Black Mamba" used to be the biggest one they made. Then I invented the "Silver Rocket" and the rest as they say is history."
Bones: "And you are sure this is what Sulu wants for Christmas?"