TOS Caption Contest #116 - Not Just the Packers Choke

[Outpost4]

They said it couldn't be done but it can. We are back on a weekend change out of the caption contest. It may be late Sunday night, but it's still Sunday night.

Last week's winners are twin sons of different mothers. I am certain they are related by their similar tastes in tasteless jokes. Wait - that's not really accurate. Shatmandu likes running gag tasteless jokes. The 4th hanson bro likes old tasteless jokes. They aren't necessarily the same thing. Me, I blame the milkman for the difference. He changed his route. Since I have proven through my limited sense of humor that there is no such thing as a new joke, that same milkman must have delivered to my house, too.

McCoy: "I'd tell him to 'get a room,' but the fucking thing wouldn't have walls, either."

Uhura: You know what they say, Mr. Spock, once you go black, you'll never go back

This next week we again recycle a picture of Kirk choking that I know was used more than 116 caption contests ago, and new one submitted by the same aforementioned Shatmandu. We also have a bonus pic, an outtake from Balance of Terror.

Wake up - you in the front row. Wake up and start captioning!


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (18x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (10x)
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)
DS9Sega (5x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (22x)

goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (3x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
John_Picard (2x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (2x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (9x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nerys Myk (21x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (15x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (30x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (17x)
Sector 7
Shatmandu (18x)

Plus one this time for a total of 19!
Sir Rhosis (2x)
Super Grover
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (2x)

Plus one this time for a total of 3!
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (13x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (10x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Two words: energy bars.

For T'Bonz, this was a perfect day in Moderator Actions.

Vulcan stoicism disappeared when a copy of 101 Things You Can Do With A Stethoscope came out.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SHATNER: Dammit Gene! You said these were props!!!!

 

[Outpost4]

Roddenberry had enough of Shatner's singing.

 

[Outpost4]

Everyone reacts differently to having their asshole fingered.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Last week's winners are twin sons of different mothers. I am certain they are related by their similar tastes in tasteless jokes. Wait - that's not really accurate. Shatmandu likes running gag tasteless jokes. The 4th hanson bro likes old tasteless jokes. They aren't necessarily the same thing. Me, I blame the milkman for the difference. He changed his route. Since I have proven through my limited sense of humor that there is no such thing as a new joke, that same milkman must have delivered to my house, too.

Uhura: You know what they say, Mr. Spock, once you go black, you'll never go back

Thanks for the win. I felt dirty issuing that one, and was honestly surprised no-one had issued it previously.

But I am taking the win.

 

[highlander]

McCoy: "Shit I think I put a roofie in BOTH glasses!"

 

[highlander]

Apparently Shatmandu has a stranglehold on more than just the caption contest.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Something for the TNZers:

 

[highlander]

Kelley: "No seriously in about 40 years this show will get a re-boot."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KELLEY:Ha ha, A fart. Grow up!

 

[highlander]

Nimoy: "I may be the huge joint I just smoked......But I think I can really feel the tips of my ears."

 

[Rat Boy]

Darth Vader (off camera): "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Kirk: "Of all the souls I've encountered in my travels...guys? Guys?! I'm trying to do a funeral here."

Kelley (thinking): Would it kill you people not to fuck up just one take?

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Based on what? Memories of a war over a century ago? On theories about a people we've never even met face-to-face?"

*Kirk and Spock laugh*

Kirk: "Of course! How long have you been on this ship, Bones?"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

All: (thinking) "What the fuck does Shattner think he's doing, trying to sing "Lucy in The Sky with Dimonds", like that.
Doohan: (thinking) 'Christ I can hear dogs wailing in the next lot'

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Shattner;[Thinking] Thats the last time George prepares lunch I think I swallowed a pube.

 

[Triskelion]

Chekov: Bourbon!
Uhura: Beans!
Kirk: Both ends!!!

Of course, the newest miniskirt designs were really showcasing Uhura's cameltoe this season.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Director's commentary: "Ah, I remember Gamesters... We had Sean Connery guest starring that episode, and then Shatner says to Gene, 'Wouldn't it be better for the story if I have to fight myself, and it would be more believable too.' Anyway, flash forward 25 years and when it comes to casting Sybok for Shatner's movie... Well I could have told him the Scotsmen hold grudges."

The trouble with a multi-species Federation is that you really ought to read the sleeves on the porn DVDs beforehand. Organian mating practices didn't quite have the desired effect.

Kirk: "Aw Bones, you gotta see the funny side. Who'd know that holiday snaps of your mother sunbathing would shatter a Vulcan's logic?"

Spock: "Do you wish for me to calculate your mother's gravitational pull Doctor?"

 

[Shatmandu]

You're too kind, Outpost4. Thank you.

Nimoy, offscreen: "Billlllllllbo, Billlllllllbo Baggins! Greatest little Hobbit of 'em allllll ............"

McCoy's thoughts often returned to how he worked his way through medical school as a pickpocket.

Even Spock had to laugh when McCoy once again fell for the old pull-my-finger routine.

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner gets into it with Spike Lee again.

Your typical reaction to the ship's bi-annual sexual harassment seminar.

Kirk: "Do we know Joanna, he asks."

Spock: "Sure we know her, Doctor."

McCoy: "You...bastards!"