TOS Caption Contest #113 - Good Sheet

[M'Sharak]

"Sulu! Speak to me! Tell me how to get this fine, uncredited morsel
out from under your sorry self and into my quarters for some... uhm,
triii-corder readings! Yes, that's it: tricorder readings."

McCoy: Larry isn't with us.
Chapel: Larry is no more.
Both: For what he thought was aitch-two-oh was aitch-two-ess-oh-four!
McCoy: Hee, I still love that one; it never gets old. Buy you a drink, Christine?

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

McCoy: "Well, can't win them all, can you?"
Chapel: "It would be nice to win one of em"

Nimoy: "Bill, you've got to do Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

We probably should be thankful this pic isn't in color.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Why!! Why!!! Why couldn't it be me!!!!!

(leers at yeoman)

Seriously, why couldn't it be me?

 

[M'Sharak]

"Oh, man. Listen: 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Sha--' ...fuck it. Bill, this one's yours."

 

[26138]

Nimoy gives Kelley and Shatner a good laugh when he suggests they do The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins... The best part? Nimoy's not joking about doing it...

 

[Mistral]

The cast goes over an early script of ST:V.

 

[johcomp]

THE GEORGE TAKEI SCANDAL

After 2 long nights on the Saki down the Blue Oyster Bar, thiings finally caught up with Takei, who collapsed during filming on set.........

....so, with a corpse being the only part that he was physically capable of playing in this state, he was secured to the sickbay set, pumped full of valium and covered over, while the producers hastily sought a replacement. Then......

All: HAHAHA - A Russian!!!......Supposed to look like one of the Monkees!!!........"Keptin!".... hahaha!!! They sure play a good joke in the office upstairs!!!!!

 

[scottydog]

Chapel: "Next time you operate, take the scalpel out of your patient."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Amateur historian yes, I get it. I can understand the fencing and D'Artagnan nonsense, the fascination with 20th Century firearms, but the impromptu recreation of the Battle of Trafalgar?"
Sulu: "Kiss me Hardy..."
Kirk: "Ooohhh, right..."

McCoy: "If only I had fought harder."
Chapel: "There was nothing you could do, Doctor."
McCoy: sigh...

...

"You know that the Direllians are hermaphrodites?"
Chapel: "mmm, um... this is awkward."
McCoy: "Toss a coin?"
Chapel: "Heads."

The very first Trek Newsletter caption contest featured a guest appearance from Carl Spock.

 

[jgdst]

Yeoman: Stop, STOP! He's already dead!
Kirk: INVITE... ME... TO... YOUR... WEDDING... YOU... BASTARD!

McCoy: Cause of death... pfff... I dunno, shall we say golfing cart accident?
Chapel: You don't even phone it in anymore, do you?

Nimoy: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shatner: I know, it's great isn't it?
Nimoy: HAHAHAHAHA!
Kelley: What did you say it was called?
Shatner: The Transformed Man

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Guess I shouldn't have let that intern... Zoidberg... take a crack at this one.
Chapel: Live and learn, Leonard. Live and learn.

-or-

Chapel: At least this one can't sue.

During the making of "The City on the Edge of Forever," George Takei attempted to make a pass at Bill Shatner. But fainted after being rejected. Thus, the Shatner-Takei feud was born.

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "Nurse, note the time of death. 8pm Tuesday. McCain's campaign has officially died."

 

[Rat Boy]

We probably should be thankful this pic isn't in color.

If we got Hal Sutherland to color it, they'd all be wearing pink.

Yeoman: "He found out I was a post-op."

Kirk: "Oh really? Doing anything after your shift is up?"

McCoy: "This corpse didn't have an erection when we brought it in."

Chapel: "Shatmandu."

McCoy: "Oh."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Hmm. To get him into a torpedo tube, I'm gonna have to break that off ..."

Nimoy: "I would have sworn the contract said to show up in the clothing of a circus clown."
Kelly: "Me, too."

 

[Hambone]

KELLEY: This script is called what?

SHATNER: It's called "Big Bad Mama". Angie Dickenson is in it.

NIMOY: Bill, why do you accept these pieces-of-shit movies?

SHATNER: Look at page 87.

KELLEY: ...hmm...I see. You get to bang her. I should have known. What is it with you?

 

[scottydog]

Nimoy: "I've drawn up the specs for even bigger, uglier shirt collars."

Shatner: "With a good breeze, we might hit warp seven!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

70s fashion. No wonder people were f'ing like bunnies. They just wanted to get out of those horrible plaids, stripes and big floppy collars.

 

[Rat Boy]

The TOS Caption Contest, pre-Internet.

 

[Mistral]

"There wasn't a damn thing I could do, Nurse. Once he put that red shirt on..."