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TOS Caption Contest #102 - Four days, three nights

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Kirk: Warp drive is off line. Impulse drive is off line. Thrusters are off line. I must save my ship! * pffffffffttt *
 
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Gorgan: Kirk, don't forget that Mary has gymnastics on Wednesdays and Tommy has a doctor's appointment next Monday at 3. I'll have my cell phone with me if you have questions but reception at the cabin might be spotty. I'll check it when I go into town for supplies. Otherwise, I'll see you in two weeks when I get back.
 
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I don't know WHY Bones is having such trouble curing my Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo............geeeeeezz...............
 
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Gorgan: "Word to the wise: don't let Sulu do your clothes shopping for you, no matter how busy you are."




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Shatner: "Sure thing, Grace: when you're done, I'll have them put you back in the script for 'Galileo 7.'"
 
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GORGAN:"Just a warning.

Someone spilled neon glitter in the ship's laundry."




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STAR TREK 69:

The Unexpected Money Shot
 
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KIRK: No yeoman, the communicator is on the shelf above that one. If you stand on your toes I'm sure you can reach it.
 
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Captain Kirk always hated being the one who had to hang the highest Christmas decorations.
 
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Woman: "How do you like your orgasms?"
Sulu: Flamming!
Flaming Orgasm
8 ounces Lager
1-1/2 ounces 151 Proof Rum
Pour the rum into a shot glass and pour a beer mug two thirds full of beer. Light the shot, drop shot glass into mug of beer, consume.
Click to expand...

OR
Sulu: "I have a pet gerbil named Raggot,"
 
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Gorgan:

"Wrong. Do it again!"
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
"You! Yes, you behind the bike sheds. Stand still, laddy!"
 
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Sulu: Uggh, that style! I need to take you clothes shopping immediately. Let's go with Checkov and Uhura.
 
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Unwashed Hippy Skank: "Oh, that's not a hairpin. My old man barfed on me. Bad heroin."
 
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Kirk suddenly has a bad feeling when he discovers the "Other than David, how many children could Kirk have spawned?" thread.
 
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