TOS Caption Contest #101 - A New Hope

[highlander]

Scotty: " Ach! shouldn't the Cap'n be tha one watchin' this film on sexual harassment? And whats with the bloomin' panda anyway?"

 

[Outpost4]

Coleman: I have an idea.

 

[Shatmandu]

Lester: "I'm 'salting the Earth.'"
Coleman: "Eh?"
Lester: "If Kirk gets this body back, he's going to be missing two testicles and the end of his penis."

 

[Outpost4]

Scotty: Ach, the Internet! I've never seen one of those pierced before!

 

[Rat Boy]

Dr. Coleman (thinking): I think I screwed it up. Now he's acting like Sulu.

 

[Hambone]

LESTER: "I know you promised me the moon, Arthur...but I prefer Uranus."

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Mr. Spock, we gotta do somethin' to help tha captain!"

Spock: "Fuck that. Reverse course at warp factor eight. Spock's in charge now."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hold me.

Like you did when I still had a funbox."

SCOTTY:"A whole footlong...for only five dollars?!

Ach, they can't be bloody SERIOUS!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Do you...

Do you ever get that...not so female anymore feeling?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Lester/Kirk: "Well, my massages always used to calm you down before."

Coleman: "That's because you used to not have a penis."

 

[Tan Ru]

Lester: Yeah? Well I DARE anyone on the Trek BBS to put a stupid sombrero on me, if they gots the balls to.......

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"BRAIIIIIIINS..."

SPOCK:"I've seen enough. Kill the transmission."

SCOTTY:"Ach, me too. How much Olympic water polo can any sane man sit through?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Please.

All I ever wanted growing up was a piggyback ride from a guy in an orange science jumpsuit."

 

[scottydog]

For those of you who have seen the movie "Step Brothers"...

Scotty: "Ya can't make a bunk-bed that way. They both have a man-gina!"

 

[Outpost4]

Scotty: Ach! I've seen this episode of Law & Order. Try another channel, lass.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Bloodthirsty saracens!

I say we run the Klingon blockade, Mister Spock! Then dump our waste and flip them the bird as we zoom by!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Kiss me.

Kiss me like my Scoutmaster used to when I sat on his lap."

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: But Arthur, when you kissed Janet, you always closed your eyes. Just keep that up.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Did you bring the rubber fist?"

 

[scottydog]

Scotty: "NBC is cancelling us after 3 seasons? Mr. Spock, you must fire all phasers at them!"

Spock: "Mr. Scott, after Spock's Brain, we should have been cancelled after 2 seasons."