TOS Caption Contest #101 - A New Hope

[Outpost4]

Scotty: Those are so obviously stunt doubles...

 

[Sir Rhosis]

Proving once again that he has zero sense of timing, during the tense showdown with the Klingons, Dr. McCoy again sneaks in a "Scotty missing finger" impersonation.

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "One moon circles... Oh that's just so awful. No one will ever say that on my ship mister."

 

[Sir Rhosis]

Lonely Female Goldshirt in rear (thinking): Christ, I'm all the way in the back; I'm not even going to be noticed in this caption contest.

 

[Outpost4]

Scotty to Lonely Female Goldshirt: Lass, this is what we did to the last helmsman with bad gas.

 

[M'Sharak]

"At last! Now, Arthur... you tell me... does this uniform make my ass look big?"

Scotty: Look a' the size o' that. Borgas Frat!
Lonely Female Goldshirt in rear: (thinking) Yeah, I know it's not really an
authentic Scots accent, but it still makes me hot.

 

[MANT!]

Scotty--"Look Mr. Spock, a mail rocket!"
Spock thinking--'Beats me how he can tell the sex of those things at this distance..'

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Look here, mister, there's only room enough for one man in my life and that's Spock. So get lost.
Dr. Coleman: But what about Bones?
Kirk: Okay, two men in my life.

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura figured it was the only way to get promoted to lieutenant commander.

Dr. Coleman: "Look, that tricked used to make me do anything for you before, Janet, but it ain't working this time."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Dr. Coleman: Less finger, more fist.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: What the hell is this? Some sort of caption contest bad photoshop? Half the people are at the wrong stations and the other half have been replaced!

 

[Rat Boy]

MCCOY: What the hell is this? Some sort of caption contest bad photoshop? Half the people are at the wrong stations and the other half have been replaced!

Vomit (at the helm): "Hey, I can't help it if I'm popular, bitches!"

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: I love a geek in uniform.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Luuuucy!!!! You got some 'splainin to do!!!

LUCY: Waaaaaah!

 

[Rat Boy]

Well, somebody's found the captain's porn collection.

 

[Shatmandu]

Janis Lester: "I've been using a Coke can as a butt plug, getting this body all ready for you ..."

Starfleet HR Representative, offscreen, giving presentation: "We just wanted you all to know, Captain Kirk's removal was his fault, not Lt. Chekov's. Having a navigator undergo a sex change operation is no laughing matter. Retaliation against Lt. Chekov will be met with swift and severe punishment ..."

-- or --

Doohan: "Gene, burn your casting couch."

 

[M'Sharak]

"Och! She's got big... "
" ...green hair."
"Aye, Ensign -- exactly what I meant."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Gene Roddenberry (off-stage): Get used to it fellas, if all goes right in about 11 years you'll all be in a big-budgeted special effects bonanza where you'll be staring at the camera for the entire movie.

 

[Rat Boy]

Dr. Coleman: "So wait a minute, all this time you've been a gay man trapped in a woman's body?"

Lester: "Shut up, camping lantern boy!"

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "Come on and touch me babe. Can't you see that I am not afraid. What was that promise that you made?"