Top 10 phrases spoken by a Klingon Programmer

[Captain Martin]

Top 10 phrases spoken by a Klingon Programmer

1. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
2. By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
3. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
4. Our competitors are without honor!
5. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
6. This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
7. Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
8. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
9. My program has just dumped Stova Core!
10. Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!

 

[Navigator_NCC2120]

11. TITO (Tribbles In Tribbles Out) is equivalent to the Human Programmer phrase GIGO (Garbage In Garbage Out).


Navigator NCC-2120 USS Entente
/\

 

[FormerLurker]

A better use of terminology:

1. This machine is Ghuy' Cha! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!

 

[Valin]

Today is a good day to Bi!

 

[Elder Knight]

Every If-Then block ends with an Else-You Die! clause.

 

[Elder Knight]

Klingon-world camels have lots of humps (they're basically just big wooly centipedes), so Klingon "camel casing" lOoKs sOrT oF lIkE tHis.

 

[Elder Knight]

As the words grep, awk, DOS, SCSI and a few others all coincidentally refer to common (and awful) Klingon foods, they use alternative words like soup, bread, meat, ketchup and beans in writring programs and scripts.

E.g.,

if stew meat(nVar) < 0 then ketchup++ else You_Die!

 

[Cyke101]

01010100 01101111 01100100 01100001 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01100100 01100001 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00101110

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

My program has just dumped Stova Core!

 

[Elder Knight]

As the words grep, awk, DOS, SCSI and a few others all coincidentally refer to common (and awful) Klingon foods, they use alternative words like soup, bread, meat, ketchup and beans in writring programs and scripts.

E.g.,

if stew meat(nVar) < 0 then ketchup++ else You_Die!

I forgot chmod, a Klingon soup with 777 varieties.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

There actually is a Klingon programming language! It's called var'aq.

 

[Elder Knight]

Boy, this topic died swiftly. Amazingly, we have a shortage of computergeeks around here!