Today I am going to ask out a stripper!

[TheLonelySquire]

If she does date you, so what? The most you could hope for after the date is the two of you rutting on her piss-stained mattress in the corner while her six kids run around her efficiency apartment screaming and throwing toys at you.

He could also watch the aforementioned rugrats while she is "dancing". Lol.

 

[TheLonelySquire]

I would go masturbate right now I am so happy...

This is a reaction that a chimpanzee would have.

Now THAT'S funny!

 

[Jayson]

Deep down we are all chimpanzee's! Except for Christians. They were created by raptor Jesus.


Jason

 

[JuanBolio]

Tell her you want to save her from her life of immofality!

Tell me, does anyone ever take kindly to it when you talk to them that way? Because I envision you getting punched in the mouth a lot.

What part do you have a problem with exactly? It was a joke, kiddo.

The part where you feel the need to go around passing moral judgment on others, solicited or not. Nobody likes people who do that. As for it being a joke, I kinda doubt it since you do it all the time. Not funny, friendo.

 

[Sephiroth]

this thread is gonna be fun

 

[TheLonelySquire]

Tell me, does anyone ever take kindly to it when you talk to them that way? Because I envision you getting punched in the mouth a lot.

What part do you have a problem with exactly? It was a joke, kiddo.

The part where you feel the need to go around passing moral judgment on others, solicited or not. Nobody likes people who do that. As for it being a joke, I kinda doubt it since you do it all the time. Not funny, friendo.

The joke was in telling her he wanted to save her. Like she hassn't heard this before. Whether you like it or not is immaterial. We've all seen what passes for your humor, cephalopods included.

 

[JuanBolio]

What part do you have a problem with exactly? It was a joke, kiddo.

The part where you feel the need to go around passing moral judgment on others, solicited or not. Nobody likes people who do that. As for it being a joke, I kinda doubt it since you do it all the time. Not funny, friendo.

The joke was in telling her he wanted to save her. Like she hassn't heard this before. Whether you like it or not is immaterial. We've all seen what passes for your humor, cephalopods included.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

The Adventures of Jayson is starting to look like a great midseason replacement for the floundering The MadBaggins Show.

Good luck, dude! Have fun on your date.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I don't think asking a stripper out would be any worse than asking a lawyer out, and some strippers have probably got better morals than some lawyers do.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Well good luck I guess. I think men tend to put strippers on kind of a pedestal because we want want them to be the kind of embodiment of sexuality that we fantasize about and that can lead to heavy disappointment. Even though I never really cared for strippers or strip clubs I did have a kind of mini-friendship with one a long time ago, but then one day she simply stopped talking to me with no explanation. Strippers can be flighty and somewhat unstable people.

 

[Kommander]

I don't think asking a stripper out would be any worse than asking a lawyer out, and some strippers have probably got better morals than some lawyers do.

What if she's stripping to put herself through law school?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I don't think asking a stripper out would be any worse than asking a lawyer out, and some strippers have probably got better morals than some lawyers do.

What if she's stripping to put herself through law school?

Then a random "legal briefs" joke would be appropriate.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Way to go, Jayson. I'm impressed and happy for you. Not only was it very brave, but now you can go through the rest of your life saying, "I dated a stripper."

 

[RJDiogenes]

I would go masturbate right now I am so happy...

This is a reaction that a chimpanzee would have.

Beats the hell out of, "I'm so happy I could just shit."

 

[Leroy]

I'm in a similar situation although not a stripper, I've been thinking of asking my math tutor out on a date. I wonder what the sex life of a woman who has taken several calculus classes is like.

 

[Kail]

More power to you. I dated a stripper once. It was fun for awhile, but it got old. Once I started having feelings for her the stripping started to bother me. Did I mention it was fun for awhile? REAL fun.

 

[Kommander]

now you can go through the rest of your life saying, "I dated a stripper."

I did, and I can. No one cares though. Still, I keep saying it. it's fun. Definitely worth it.

I'm in a similar situation although not a stripper

My girlfriend is a porn star. She's going to be so pissed then she finds out.

(I stole that from somewhere. It better not be from Twitter.)

(Edit: Fuck! It is...)

 

[Jayson]

The first date will be this Sunday. We are going to go to the movies together. She is even going to pay for my ticket, since I don't have any money, unless I can borrow it from my mom. Not until my payday that is but that is October 11, which seems like a million days away when you don't have any money.


Jason

 

[Squiggy]

The first date will be this Sunday.

Nothing says "I'm getting lucky!" like a date on a Sunday.

We are going to go to the movies together.

WARNING: Movies are always horrible choices for first dates...unless you're 13. Why would you want to spend 2 silent hours in a dark room with someone you don't know? It's not like she's going to blow you when the credits roll. (spoiler alert: She's not going to blow you when the credits roll).

She is even going to pay for my ticket, since I don't have any money, unless I can borrow it from my mom.

WARNING WARNING: NO. If you don't have the money to pay for a friggin' movie, then perhaps you shouldn't go on such a date. It's generally considered bad form to ask someone out and then have them pay. So, instead of something as standards as movie. Go to a park if it's nice out. Pack a picnic. Take a walk.

Not until my payday that is but that is October 11, which seems like a million days away when you don't have any money.

Who the hell gets paid once a month and if that's true...didn't you just get paid last week? What the hell happened to your money?

 

[Ward Fowler]

Nothing says "I'm getting lucky!" like a date on a Sunday.

You said it!!!

WARNING: Movies are always horrible choices for first dates...unless you're 13. Why would you want to spend 2 silent hours in a dark room with someone you don't know?

Why? Perhaps he has the social skills of a 13 year-old.

It's not like she's going to blow you when the credits roll. (spoiler alert: She's not going to blow you when the credits roll).

She's a stripper.

WARNING WARNING: NO. If you don't have the money to pay for a friggin' movie, then perhaps you shouldn't go on such a date. It's generally considered bad form to ask someone out and then have them pay. So, instead of something as standards as movie. Go to a park if it's nice out. Pack a picnic. Take a walk.

Crazy talk. Stop being sincere.

Who the hell gets paid once a month and if that's true...didn't you just get paid last week? What the hell happened to your money?

My wife gets paid once a month. Then again, I get the feeling she gets paid a lot more money than Jayson. In fact I'd bet her paycheck on it.
I'm so bored I'm doing a commentary on your commentary.