Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #581: Strange Behavior

[Jedman67]

Picard: Everyone, welcome to Zumba With Jean-Luc!
Get on your butts and SING!

RIKER: DO YOU WANT TO BUY A DUCK? DO YOU? DO YOU?

Worf: We have the clothing, and the bar, but where is the pole and where are the strippers?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: I really need to talk to you all about Amway!!!!

 

[Orac]

Everybody: ♫ Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy! ♫

 

[Herbert]

Riker: You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?

Will's first and only attempt at method acting

 

[Qonundrum]

Riker: I need my breakfast! I'm cuckoo for cacapuffs!

 

[Dr. Spock Jenkins]

Worf: Captain, your Life Alert was emitting a distress signal.

Riker: Stop calling me Bill Riker! Say it with me it's William, Will-EE-Yum!!

Michael Dorn: Then Lamar walked off and said "Screw this, I don't need you guys. I have Reading Rainbow!"

Data: Hey Jean-y don't you ever say "Android is just a cell phone to me again."

Picard: And then he said "Hey Jean-y don't you ever say Android is just a cell phone to me again!"

 

[Leviathan]

Worf: He is in JEOPARDY!
Riker: Where is Geordi?
Worf: Correct.

 

[Leviathan]

Riker spent 3 weeks undergoing heavy therapy after watching Trip die.

 

[Drob]

Worf: I found ripped muddy clothes, one empty pot of UV paint, a used packet of party contact lenses and I hear the distant sound of peak 90's rave music.

Riker: Bing! Bing?? are you out of your <iframe>mind</iframe>
I urge you to use DuckDuckGo!

 

[Qonundrum]

Riker: "I WANTED COCOA PUFFS! YOU GAVE ME FROSTED FLAKES!"
Zookeeper: "Re-read the package. It states 'Frosted Frakes."
Riker: "GRR!"
Zookeeper: "EAT!"

 

[Swedish Borg]

That's the last time I ask Worf to teach me Judo.

Picard: Riker is the winner of the monkey face contest!!!

Worf: How did my pants end up here?

Data: Have I ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?
Picard: Stop it Data!! We're still not acknowledging homosexuality, damn it!!!
Data: Ok, program erased...

Picard: Damn Worf and his Klingon Judo!! Now I can't sit!!!

 

[Orac]

Worf: Looks like the Captain's got worms again.

 

[Swedish Borg]

...
Worf: Looks like the Captain's got worms again.

 

[Velocity]

Picard: No, Mr. Worf, I'm ok. It was just the shock of seeing that 2 headed person.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: I hope somebody pours Red Dust on your face, you damned alien lizard!

Data: Captain, I have performed detailed sensor scans of your brain, and have found nothing.

*pause*

Sir, may I inquire as to the reason the rest of the crew is giggling?

 

[Oddish]

PICARD: "So...uhh... is anyone for a game of Duck Duck Goose?"

RIKER: "I'LL TEACH YOU TO EAT THE LAST PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CREAM PIE AT DINNER, YOU LOUSY S.O.B.!!"

WORF: "How did Alexander's dirty trousers get all the way down here?"

DATA: "Go ahead, captain. Say that 'Ode to Spot' is the worst kind of pseudo poetic drivel imaginable ONE MORE TIME!"

 

[Qonundrum]

PICARD: "Next time I'll wait until the second date."

RIKER: "Next time I'll use a lie detector when I'm told they're clean."

PICARD: "Not until the third date!"

 

[Herbert]

Riker: I hope somebody pours Red Dust on your face, you damned alien lizard!

Ah, V reference. Very nice

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: Mr. Worf, alert the crew. Turbolift rides are not, repeat NOT, a cure for constipation.

 

[Herbert]

Picard: Well? It's just a mole, right?
Data: No idea Captain. Better have Dr Crusher check it out. <pause> I'd just like to remind you that I did suggest you not to listen to Riker about jamaharon with alien women.