Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #565: Shuttle Ride

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Shut up William!" Award, going to @Mr Soak for:

Riker: If I had my way, I'd bring back the skant.
Worf: If you were any other man, I wouldn't kill you where you stand.
Shelby: Get in line.
Wesley (thinking): Oh, good. No one's yelling at me.


Next, we have the "I sense anger" Award, going to @Laura Cynthia Chambers for:

Picard: "I still think this whole "job switching day" thing was rigged."
Data: "I can assure you, Counselor Picard, there was no underhanded interference in the selection process."
Worf: "Now tell me how I feel."
Picard: (gulp)


Next, we have the "It got even worse once they started using the 4 foot model" Award, going to @JirinPanthosa for:

GEORDI: You heard me, I said separate the ship!
ENSIGN: I forgot you could do that.
GEORDI: I think everyone has.


Next, we have the "Advanced System Repair Procedures" Award, going to @IMC Headquarters for:

O'BRIEN: Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?

Next, we have the "Bender Bending Rodriguez appreciation" Award, going to @Tenacity for:

Kurn: ZZZZZZZ, mah kill, kill, kill all Humans , ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.


Our Photoshop Award, goes to @Cutie McWhiskers for:

Troi: "Maybe if I read one of these, I can find a joke that isn't moldy."

The Award goes to @Finn for:

Acting Ensign's Log: The academy asked me to come up with a positive note for each day...no matter what's going on, so they would be able to determine the state of my emotional maturity. I put down that now with Picard's absence, there's no glare on the viewscreen as he walks around the bridge.

Two KBL's!

@20-Backwards:

LA FORGE: I'm not just gonna sit around and let the Romulans take the Captain and the First Officer.
TROI: ... Would you like to sit down?
LA FORGE: Oh yes, thank you.

@Mojochi:

Picard: Oh this is bull hockey. None of you people would be on this ship if I hadn't hired you personally


Apologies for being delayed yet again and I know there are more winners that need to be judged. Hope to get to that in the next couple of weeks.

In the meantime, let's catch a ride on a shuttlecraft!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Lets land in the main shuttlebay. I've always wanted to see that.

Pulaski: Do you have the keys to this?

La Forge: Shouldn't there be more than 2 seats in a shuttle this big?

Worf: I like this one, looks good.

Riker: Are you kidding? There's no Warp drive, barely any legroom and it's got a tape deck!

Wesley: Captain, there's a Romulan Warbird ahead.

Picard: Yeah, yeah, fly past them. It's tea time back here!

 

[bigglesworth]

Pulaski: Why is the shuttlebay door completely vertical when we're inside, but slopes when we're outside?
Data: Keep asking questions like that and you'll be lucky to last the season, Doctor.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PULASKI: How could you forget the door remote? What's it doing in you quarters anyway?
DATA: I forgot to leave it in the shuttle
PULASKI: I'm just gonna use the switch on the wall.
DATA: That would be ill advi.......
**WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH**

 

[Tenacity]

Data: Captain there is a problem.
Picard: Is that what I think it is?
Data: Yes Captain, it is someone dressed as a clown.
Picard: Where did he come from?
Data: He just stepped out from behind a asteroid.
Picard: He has a knife.
Data: I will increase our speed.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

RIKER: I dunno, Mr Worf. Should we get the VIN etching?
WORF: It is not an honorable expense.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

PICARD: Wesley? Did I ever tell you about the safe-words your mother and I used to exchange?

 

[IMC Headquarters]

PICARD: For the last part of your driver's test you're going to be asked to parallel universe park. Just pull up by that wormhole there. Do you think you're ready?

DATA: It is Okun with me.

 

[bigglesworth]

La Forge: Shouldn't there be more than 2 seats in a shuttle this big?

Ro: Why are you asking me?! You're the engineer!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

GEORDI: He called Bajor Bajoor? Yeah, I'd have a hard time respecting him, too.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

PICARD: God I hate making my own ******* tea. Why couldn't we have taken a shuttlecraft with a ******* replicator?
CRUSHER: That's coffee, sir.
PICARD: ****!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

GEORDI: Ro Ro Ro your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is just a dream...
RO: Because we're friends I won't kill you today.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

RIKER: That's one weird looking shuttle.
WORF: It is not a shuttle. It is an iPhone. We have been miniaturized. I hate being miniaturized.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

PICARD: Oh look--dead Ferengi floating in space...

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Wow, my forehead looks enormous. Probably some sort of distortion in the reflection, right?
RIKER:Nope.

 

[tomswift2002]

WORF: Where’s the electrical plug port on this thing? I thought LaForgd said it was just beside the window!

RIKER: It is, but we landed in the dilithium-only refueling area, so it’s pointless looking for it! Great Mr. Worf! We’re stranded!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DATA: Query. If Runabouts definitely exist by now, why do we have to make long journeys in these very defenseless shuttles?
PICARD: I made a request for Runabouts. It's been approved by 5 committees. That leaves just 21 more committees until they start to process the request.

PULASKI: Why are we walking into the corner like this?
DATA: According to the Apple Maps algorithm I recently integrated, this is the quickest way to get to the Bridge.

GEORDI: I just thought of something. Why haven't we fallen through the floor?
RO: I'm still working on why we can breathe if we're out of phase with all the air.

RIKER: Okay, stand right there.
WORF: Why did you ask me to come here?
RIKER: If I take a picture from just the right angle, it looks like there are two Worfs at 90 degrees with one continuous sash! Now I'm sure to win the ship amateur photography trophy!

WESLEY: (Thinking) Stop...thinking...about girls...before...he asks you to stand up!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Why do I get the impression, Commander Riker was the last person to use this shuttle.

 

[Herbert]

Picard: Data, we need some tunes.
Data: Yes sir. Computer, play Low Rider from War

 

[IMC Headquarters]

WORF: Commander Riker??? You do not reflect...