Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #544: Love is in the air...

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Somebody call Air Traffic Control" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

BEVERLY: Ooh, you're doing so good son! Press that button! Ooh, now press that button! Isn't he doing wonderful?
DATA: Doctor Crusher, is this what is known as 'Helicopter parenting'?
BEVERLY: What? No, I give Wesley lots of space! Ooh, what does that blinking light mean?

Next, we have the "There's less paperwork if we all ignore it" Award, going to Mojochi for:

Riker: Should we all just pretend you didn't hit that?

Next, we have the "Must go faster, must go faster, must go faster" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

Picard: Captain to Engineering. Increase power to 9.0 before they realize we "forgot" Ambassador Troi on the other ship!

Next, we have the "I prefer the original to the remake" Award, going to Bry_Sinclair for:

Data: Lifeforms! You insignificant little lifeforms! You worthless little lifeforms! Death to you!

Next, we have the "And that's how open mic night came to an end..." Award, going to Herbert for:

Picard: I've "flown into" a few "holes in space". Know what I'm saying?....................Amirite?
Bridge crew: <silence>

Our Photoshop Award goes to CutieMcWhiskers for:

The award goes to Leviathan for:

Captain log, Stardate 44012.3: ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Our KBL goes to Nerys Myk for:

WES: Course locked in sir. Time to boot up some Call of Duty.
PICARD: Make it so.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, our new contest shall get a little lovey dovey...

Enjoy!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ODAN: Thanks for the shirt, but I don't look good in spots.

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Did you know you that you resemble the Trill?

Riker: He's a Trill?!

Worf: Your skin is so soft. Can you make mine this way?

Data: Is this not the proper arm position for viewing a motion picture?

Wesley: I read that in your culture, it is customary for the male to steal a gift for the female. You'd better eat this fast, because Counselor Troi probably has a phaser by now and won't be afraid to use it.

 

[Herbert]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead

Worf: I am going to bite you on the wrist now. This will initiate Klingon mating ritual.
K'ehleyr: Acknowledged. You may proceed

 

[Herbert]

Wesley: I brought you poop emoji......in a bowl
Salia: Thanks...........I think

 

[Herbert]

K'ehleyr: Do you want to have sex or take my pulse?

 

[Herbert]

Data: Pew! Pew! Pew!
La Forge: <offscreen> Data, you have to extend one finger before you can pew pew pew
Data: These 20th/21st century rituals contain a complex series of variables.

 

[Triskelion]

Kamala: Bridesmaid dresses are always so hideous.
Picard: This is my dress uniform.
Kamala: Then you aren't my Maid of Honor?
Picard: LET'S NOT BE HASTY

Odan: Doctor Beverly! Your hospital gowns were a big hit on the planet!
Riker: I knew they would crack the market.

Skeletor's Torso: KISS HER, YOU FOOL!!!

Wesley: This stuff doesn't shift back to humanoid sized, ya know.
Salia: Oopsie!

 

[Herbert]

Skeletor's Torso:

 

[Herbert]

Kamala: Not to worry, my love. Our relationship will rise again, like a phoenix. Get it? phoenix? <wink, wink>
Picard: What about Scott?
Kamala: He may have an "eye" for me but I want you. Get it? Eye? HAW!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Data (voice over): "Second officer's log, supplemental: I have twelve hours, forty-one minutes and fifty three seconds for a fist bump. I am assured it is quite exhilarating at the right moment and that only truly accepted members of the crew will bump each other. I continue to be vigilant and hopeful that the bump will come at any second now."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: Picard to O'Brien. On my mark, initiate secret transporter duplication program Picard 4.

ODAN: If you don't like this body, I will find a more attractive host to enslave, completely suppressing his personality and taking away his free will.
BEVERLY: Wait, what?

K'ELYHR: Before we do this Worf, promise me one thing. If I ever have a child, then die, be a good father to it. Always be very loving and attentive, accept him for whoever he becomes, and never abandon him.
WORF: I promise.

DATA: Initiate imaginary girlfriend practice program seven. Parameters: Bolian, attractive, level six resistance to seduction.

WESLEY: If the pedestal is too high, I shall learn to fly.
RIKER: Wow, that's really lame when you hear someone ELSE say it. I need to up my game.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thanks for the win!

Picard: It's GOOD to be the king!
Director: Cut! Patrick, that's your line from Men in Tights. It doesn't belong on the Enterprise.
Stewart: But it's such a fun line!

Crusher: Odan, you old slug, how are ya?

K'Elyhr: I have a boo boo.
Worf: I will...kiss it for you.

Data: Talk to the hand, because the face is not receiving auditory feedback.

Wesley: Will you go out with me?
Riker: Ooh, this is going to burn so bad. Do you have popcorn?

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: There is still time to back out Melania.

 

[shivkala]

Picard: Personal Log--She is my perfect mate and yet I must give her up. Kirk never had these problems!

Odan: These forehead ridges? Do you think the Klingons are the only race with inexplicible ridges?

K'ehyler: So, this is my corset.

Worf: It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex.

K'ehyler: You should be. I'm very bendy. I'm going to kiss you now.

Worf: Not if I kiss you first. Well...I guess there's nothing left for us to do but... but kiss.

Data: Hmm, I could make a passable cupid. Time to strip down and don my diaper!

Salia: Oooh, this is really awkward. I like you, but not like you, like you. You know.

Wesley: No, I get it. Hey, at least I got further than Geordi ever did!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: And this is our greatest cultural artifact. It's called "poop emoji" and sounds just like my Captain.

 

[Triskelion]

Wesley: Wait. A taste to remember me by.
Salia: Spam Paté?

Data: I'm rounding second!
Computer: Warning. Biochemical microhydraulic lubricant leak detected. A damage control team has been dispatched.
Data: Awww.

 

[f14peter]

SALIA: "Oh Wesley, what's this?"

WESLEY: "It's some food, pudding ... I brought it to hopefully placate you in case you turn back into that hideous bug-eyed hairy monster with huge claws and want to rip me apart from limb to limb. That's not your natural state, is it?"

SALIA: "Oh Wesley you are such a silly. My natural state is a beautiful swirling stream of sparkling light, a whirlpool of iridescence wonder"

WESLEY: "really?"

SALIA: "Um ... well ... er ... no, truth be told in my natural state I actually am a hideous bug-eyed hairy monster with huge claws and I think I will rip you apart from limb to limb"

WESLEY: -gulp-

RIKER: "Riker to ship maintenance ... bio-cleanup crew to transporter room 3"

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.
K'ehyler: "So Worf, I put some of my new perfume on my wrist ... you like? It's called Eau de Disembowelment"

Worf: "RRRRrooooooooouuuuuuu!"

K'ehyler: "Oh you are Mister Smooth, aren't you!"

 

[Leviathan]

TFTW!

Crusher: Glad you could make it, please make yourself at home, we aim to be good hosts.
Odan: Exxxxxcellllllent
Riker: Wait...what did we just agree to?

 

[Triskelion]

Odan: Doctor Beverly! Your tongue depressors were a big hit on the planet! They were depressing everybody!
Crusher: Before or after they saw my bill?