Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #507: The Search for Q's Powers

Q: This is my gift to you, Jean-Luc my friend. From hence forward, all your farts shall shine like gold, and smell like roses!



PICARD: Geordi, did you fix the automatic lighting controls?
GEORDI: Looks fine to me.



Q: It's the weirdest thing. I looked at the science officer in the skant uniform and I haven't been able to walk upright since.



Q: Yeah, you could have made it a LITTLE bigger than that.


Q: I'm immortal again, I can be as tacky as I want!

 

Captain's Log, Stardate 43539.1: Illegal aliens are annoying the bridge crew.

 

Guest Director: JJ Abrams.

 

Picard: The jackass in the oncoming lane has got their brights on!



[Alien of the Week starts to smoke a pipe]

Riker: I wouldn't do that if I were you. Especially on bourbon and beans night.

Alien of the Week: Why?

[Picard farts]

[Wilhelm scream]

 

Q2: "Missed it by *that much!*"

 

Picard: "What's all this?
Riker: "It's the celebration of Cinco De Mayo."
Picard: "Cinco de Mayo, what's that?"
Data: "A day to commemorate the victory of a small third world nation over a large imperial European power."
Picard: "Against a imperial power, I like the sound of that. Which imperial power?"
Riker: "France."

Picard: " .... I'll be in my ready room, keep the noise down."

 

Data: I believe it is a celebration of the sinking of a cargo ship filled with the condiment mayonnaise.

 

Until now, the Enterprise crew had always assumed Q was appearing to them as a male. But on this day, they learned the truth of the maxim "never assume".


After the first lighting test for Generations proved unsatisfactory, the production decided to go in the opposite direction.

 

Computer: Now entering the Gamma Quadrant.



Q: One does not simply walk into…

 

Q: No no no, when you ask a Counselor how big your psychological problem is, this is a good answer!


Picard: Batanides?
Riker: THIS ISN'T THAT ONE OK

 

Q: Jean Luc, paint me like one of your French women.




Picard: This is why I don't understand why we have windows everywhere. Each time we park by a sun we get blinded.




Data: Q, that is the warp core ejector button you're leaning on.

Crusher: Like that thing ever works anyway.




Q2: Trust me, no one has noticed the set doesn't really match up to the shuttle model.




Chief Engineer's log: I refuse to let Q's arrival ruin my entry in the "Best performance of the Time Warp" contest.

 

ANNOUNCER: Laaaadies and Geeentlemeeeeen!!!! The man who puts potent in omnipotent! The God like alien that everyone likes. The imp who leave a good impression. Directly from the Q Continuuum....Q!!!!!!
RIKER: I gotta get a hypeman.

 

Picard was about to learn--never turn you back to a lens flare!

 

PICARD: What's the mean of this?
MARIACHIS: Que?
PICARD: No, Q!

 

Q: It's-a me-a, Mario!
Picard: Come off it, Q, you're not Italian.
Q: Oh, YOU'RE one to talk.

 

Cue: "Allow me to compliment you Doctor on your fashionable blue smock, really hides your secret pregnancy quite well."

 

Low on effects budget? Just pull some lens flare out of your...

 

Crusher: Mm-HM.
Q: If my jockey shorts are to be judged, let them be judged for what they really are.

 

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