Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #486: Alien Leadership

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Emergency Beamout in 5....4.....3..." Award, going to Zombie Cheerleader for:

Geordi: Why were the villagers so insistent about us staying off the moors?
Grrrrrrrr grrrrrrrr rwwwwl
RIker: Stop growling, Worf.
Worf: That's wasn't me.


Next, we have the "Cheat Codes" Award, going to Kick the Can for:

Borg behind Data: Can't won't isn't aren't wasn't weren't couldn't wouldn't shouldn't....
Data: <Runs out simulating crying>


Next, we have the "DC/TNG Crossover" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

Picard: So now we can kill Superman?

Riker: The Lex Luthor resemblance has really gone to his head...



Next, we have the "Technobabble knows no Franchise Bounds" Award, going to The Laughing Vulcan for:

PIcard os: "This is unprecedented. Suggestions people..."
Data: "P.K.E. valances are off the scale, Captain. I believe proton accelerators and a laser confinement grid is in order."



Next, we have the "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah" Award, going to shivkala for:

Worf: The chief engineer has gone on a killing spree in engineering. I guess you could say he has no impulse control.

*The CSI: Enterprise music plays as Worf dons his sunglasses*

The Award goes to The Green Monster for:

First Officer's Log: She still turns me on...

Our KBL goes to Hutchy01 for:

Geordi: I don't remember Holmes ever fighting ghosts!



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

A question was raised in the last contest, about the pictures appearing too dark. This isn't the first time this issue has come up. I'm really curious if the posters here are having a hard time seeing the photos I use in the contest. The last contest being Halloween themed naturally had pictures with darker scenes, but in the average contest, are the pictures too dark to be seen clearly? If you have feedback on this, please share.

I'm sure you were all expecting a return to our character contests and our ships counselor has been quite patient, but with the Presidential Election coming up so soon (Or as I've heard many say: FINALLY!!!!!) I wanted to take one more week and have some photos featuring the leaders of alien planets.

I'm sure many of you have strong political opinions, but I'd like to avoid any anti-(Insert Name of Candidate Here) jokes as they will be liked by some and will make others feel angry or uncomfortable. Everyone is welcome here, we should all laugh together and not only along party lines.

Thank you for reading all of that, lets get to the captioning!

Enjoy

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: It looks so easily when Q does it.

Hayne: Add this to Chateau Picard and it will be drinkable.

Durken: This tastes like it's been enriched with booze from Turkana IV.

Salia: Be careful, the Sikaran Trajector Matrix isn't compatible Federation Technology.

Zorn: This is the worst Bed & Breakfast EVER!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: When you're a Jet...
DIRECTOR: Uh. thanks but we're ah... going in a different direction for Riff.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: You aren't nothing but a hound dog -
Alien Simon Cowell: No, you clearly did not sell your soul to Ardre. Acceptable witness, Your Honor.

Hayne: Here, your dates need this more than I do.

Here's to you, Duckling.
It's Durken, actually.
Of course. And the Clan Macleod.
No, that's Duncan. I'm Durken.
Darkman?
Durken.
Turducken?
Durken.
Dixon?
No.
That's funny, because -
No.
Gloria, from Cleveland?
I'm beginning to see why First Contact Missions are problematic for the Federation.

Salia: Thank you for a wonderful trip to the holodeck, Wesley. Those programs were hilarious.
Wesley: Just don't tell Geordi.

Troi: This reminds me of that time I was in The Cook, The Thief, The Wife and The Lover.
Yar: The cast?
Troi: Craft services.

 

[bbjeg]

Picard: Yeah, to be honest, I'm a Q. How else do you think I survivied all the crap I've been through. I was a Borg, I was left in the past, I lived multiple lives including being a child twice, lived through temporal paradoxes, went into the Nexus, died a few times...

Picard: Wait, you're Malcorian and not Malforian?
Durken: Yes.
Picard: Oh, so it's not custom for you to drink the captain's boiled urine?

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the Log win

Durken: I like this, drinking over first contact

Picard: Yes. Cochrane, the man who invented warp drive on my world, did a toast just like this with Vulcans.

 

[shivkala]

Thank you, as always, for the win.

Picard: Today on Mythbusters we tackle the legend of Ardra. Now, watch as I cause an explosion by snapping my fingers.

Hayne: It'll put hair on your chest.

Dr. Crusher: Do, it Will. The quality of our adventures increased dramatically when you grew the beard. Imagine what'll happen when you grow chest hair!

Durken: Tastes peppery.

Picard: That's because you're drinking out of a pepper grinder.

Salia: Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you couldn't get it up, then cried the rest of the night.

Data: How does everyone like their Zorn?

Troi: Medium-rare for me, Data.

Yar: Well-done, thanks.

 

[Finn]

Yar: What a terrible way to go....

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Wesley is engaging in horny teenage horiness; quickly everyone -- uncomfortably stare at him!"

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: To flipper ladies. Am I right?

Hayne: to Professor Chauncey Eleazar Perch, inventor of the highpants.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Is this the droid lube?
HAYNE: Yep, gotta it from some kid who comes in for power converters

 

[Finn]

Hayne: It contains a NX-01 holonovel

 

[Nerys Myk]

GIRL: Hi, I'm Lesley. Your long lost sister and replacement.
WES: What??? What???

 

[Finn]

Salia: I may be new to socialization, but I'm not ignorant of human behavior. I've noticed your attempts to engage me in idle conversation. And I see the way your pupils dilate when you look at my body.

Wesley: I don't know what you're talking about.

Salia: Obviously you've suggested a visit to the holodeck in the hopes of creating a romantic mood. Are you in love with me, Ensign?

Wesley: Well... no.

Salia: Then you wish to copulate?

Wesley: No!

[laughs awkwardly]

...I mean, I... I-I don't know what I mean.

 

[Hutchy01]

Holodeck 4, fun for all the fantasies!

 

[Mad Jack Wolfe]

Durken: "Thank God I didn't have to wear all this latex crap when I was on Max Headroom."

 

[Nerys Myk]

DURKEN: Can you believe the swill they're serving us? Tastes like mud strained through old socks. Did you catch the name?
PICARD: Château Picard.
DURKEN: Ah, thank you. And what was your name again?
PICARD: Jean-Luc Picard.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: You know what? I'm actually getting kind of sick of talking idiots out of obviously bad decisions. Ardra, you can have 'em.

HAYNE: Your Rogaine, Commander Riker.
RIKER: Thanks. I've seen what the stress of command can do to you.

DURKEN: I'm starting to realize, aliens really love the smell of their own farts.

SALIA: Wow, I just met you, but somehow I just think you're a really awesome person who I immediately trust. You just seem to be really good at everything!
ANYA: Salia! I taught you about Mary Sues, don't be fooled!

After Zefram Cochrane passed, the entity moved onto other boyfriends.

 

[Leviathan]

Hayne: Commmmmander Riker....you've already won your own Positronic Android AND this bottle of Cognac...but.... you can trade it all for WHAT'S IN THE BOX!

Worf: ....take the box....the BOX!

 

[Triskelion]

Wesley: You showed me your true form, so I thought it was only fair I showed you mine. Yee hee! <does a moonwalk>
Chaperone: They did say he was special.
Salia: Ohhhhh! Special! Now I get it!

Durken: This morning, I was the leader of the universe as I knew it. This afternoon, I am only a voice in a chorus.
Picard: Tenor or baritone?
Durken: Let me guess, wine with every meal?
Picard: As opposed to...?

Hayne: Commmmmmmmmmmander Riker....
Riker: Hey Bub, that's only 5 m's.
Data: Perhaps I should take charge of the free hooch.
Beverly: All right, who's the lucky ones. Eeny meenie miny all seven of you.