Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #463: Call for Adventurers

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New contest and it even starts on the weekend this time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Single file, please" Award, going to The Laughing Vulcan for:

Worf: "I could use a hug too."
Ensign: "Form an orderly line behind Wesley."


Next, we have the "Motherly Support" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

LWAXANA: You could do better!!!!!!
TROI: Mother!!!!
LWAXANA: I was talking to him!


Next we have the "Next stop: Maury Povich" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Helena: All the Rozhenko men have beards of iron gray.
Worf: You do realize I'm adopted, don't you?
Helena: Sergey! You lied to me!


Next, we have the "That's great, but where are the bathrooms?" Award, going to 2takesfrakes for:

DATA: "Counselor, as a result of your accidental pregnancy, I am pleased to inform both you and Dr. Pulaski that the Captain has ordered paper toilet seat covers for all public restrooms, on the Enterprise."


Next, we have the "Previously on Star Trek: The Next Generation" award, going to shivkala for:

Beverly: So, let's see, you know, usual stuff, we fought the Borg, Lore came back, there was a big mess with the Klingons, we met Spock, I had sex with a ghost after your great grandmother's funeral, the Captain and I were taken prisoner and had our minds connected, Data's holodeck programs tried to take over the Enterprise again.

Wesley: Gam-gam's dead?


Our Photoshop Award, goes to jep for:

Lwaxana: "Good the priest is here."

Riker: "Priest? Why is a priest he... wait, why is your mother carrying that shotgun?

The award goes to Finn for:

Captain's Log: It has been two weeks since Beverly left for Starbase 74 for a conference or something, and got delayed. Wesley is still on the holodeck not realizing he is living a simulation. I'm enjoying a book and a cup of Earl Grey in my ready room. Life is good.

I'm feeling generous today, so our first KBl goes to JirinPanthosa for:

MR ROSZENKO: In your care package I have included a six pack of my special homebrew.
MRS ROSZENSKO: (Whispers) Don't worry, I secretly replaced it with vodka.
WORF: Whew.


Our second KBL goes to Smellincoffee for:

Wesley: Mom, the other kids take their lunch to school WITH them. Why do I have to come home?


Our final KBL of this week goes to Honorable Ensign for:

Lwaxana: Oh dear, Will. Surely you can manage sexier thoughts than that!


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Very sorry for the late start on the last contest, real life and all. Don't worry, all is well but as is my pattern, sometimes May is crazy. I may be late starting one or two more before the month is over.

And our thread mystery continues!

No one has yet to get to the bottom of the pattern.

Let's review our clues, first the thread titles:

Ambush!
Free Drinks!
Inevitable Betrayal
Research Agreement
Honorable Example
Crime Wave
Manipulate
Call in a Favor
Call for Adventurers

Other clues: Wil Wheaton is connected to this pattern and it has nothing to do with Mass Effect or The Big Bang Theory.

New Clue: All of the thread titles are Intriguing.

Remember, don't Google!

And now, the new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: I'm going to show them all how it's done. I'm going to lead this Away Team to this dangerous world and it'll be amazing.

O'Brien: Yes, sir. Ready to beam you down to Pacifism IV.

Picard: Who wants to step inside the Blue Square first? I'm looking at you, Worf!

Worf: Now, as part of your security training, you must be able to fall back in unison and prevent your superior officer from being hit by weapons fire. Computer, begin scenario one.

Riker: There's nothing here. Who told you there was something of interest on this planet?

Worf: First Officer's Log...

O'Brien: Activate the armbands and I'll beam you back.

Worf: With Captain Picard?

O'Brien: Oh, right. Let me get you another one.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the log win

Worf: Worf to Captain.. We found her

Picard: (OV) Where?

Worf: in the holodeck, sleeping. Counselor Troi must have fell asleep playing the chocolate resort holoprogram again.


Riker: There's nothing here. Who told you there was something of interest on this planet?

Worf: First Officer's Log...

O'Brien: Where's mine?

Data: The script needed a way for you to end up the one hurt

 

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: If I increase the matter flow, we might be able to save Wesley....

PICARD: Slow down, Chief. Let's not be hasty.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

"To hell with Starfleet regulations for once... I'm nabbing myself that Battlecruiser. Chief, I order you to set the transporter to materialise me a few seconds ahead of the others. Under federation salvage law, first person to set foot on it claims it"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: So it was smashed flat, as if by a giant foot and blasted with atomic radiation?
GEORDI: Yes. sir.
DATA: I would suggest that is highly unlikely. Geordi you might want to come up with a different hypothesis.

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

Changed number to 463 since last week's adventure was 462.

 

[LeadHead]

Whoops! Thank you

 

[Finn]

Stewart: *speaking French*

Dorn: *Speaking Russian*

Sirtis: *Speaking Betazoid*

Meaney: *Speaking Irish*

Frakes:....I gotta speak with my agent. I'm getting the feeling they are turning Riker into a buffoon.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Leadhead!

Picard: So we're all agreed. Troi should be the one to challenge the Chancellor to a headbutt.
Troi: Are you sure Chief O'Brien can't beat him at Simon?
O'Brien: THEY ONLY USE RED!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thanks for the KBA!

Picard: I think this kitty fence is just the ticket for Spot, Mr. Data.

Worf: Hah-ah! Nobody EVER expects the SPANISH INQUISITION!
(Space crickets)
Goldshirt: Uh...sir, I think they're next door.

Riker: Right, we've got campers who didn't stow their trash. Set phasers to nag.

O'Brien: Don't worry, gents. See the sign? "THIS ROOM HAS GONE 36 DAYS WITHOUT AN ACCIDENT". You're in good hands.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Computer, begin Holoprogram Worf Alpha-001
GOLDSHIRT: Not really big in the imagination department, are you sir?

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Now before we beam down, does anyone else have to go? I don't want a repeat of that time on the planet with no Coriolis effect.

Picard: How exactly do these enhance transport again?
Space Cricket: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt!
Picard: Never mind.

Security Officer 1: I thought you initialized the program.
Worf: I did.
Security Officer 2: Who runs a holodeck simulation of - a holodeck?
Worf: It's an exact replica! Shut up, Trevor!

Data: It would appear that alien youths have trashed our porta-potty, sir.

Data: Calibrate your jogging radio to Imus in the Morning.
Worf: Check.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

O'Brien's Personal Log: "I should have kept my bloody mouth shut! Before every away mission now, the Captain insists on regaling me with his latest ship in a bottle story. I wouldn't mind, but the rest of the crew keep giving me dirty looks. I need a transfer..."

LaForge: "Perimeter set. Phaser grid activated. No cave monster is getting into there."
Picard: "One question, Mr LaForge. Shouldn't we be inside the protection grid?"
LaForge: "But the controls are on the outside, sir..."

Worf: "Computer! Activate synchronized swimming routine, Worf 156."

LaForge: "It's wreckage from a Starfleet issue shuttle alright, but it's registered to the USS Voyager."
Data: "Of the 1435 vessels of starship class in the fleet, there are none designated Voyager."
Riker: "I hate time travel!"

Worf: "What are these, Chief?"
O'Brien: "Just one more thing to go wrong. Good luck on the away mission."

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

Captain's Log, Supplemental:- Commander Riker's vasectomy did not go as well as could be hoped for

 

[at Quark's]

Picard: "And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou aim thy targeting scanners. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then couplest thou thy Heisenberg compensators and proceedest thou with dematerialising the bomb, which, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

Troy: "Captain, we only had one minute left when we entered the transporter room ... "

O'Brien: "Now please keep in mind, even with these badges your backstage time will be limited to 10 minutes at the very most. And remember, no restitution in any event, so make sure you don't lose them!"
Worf: "Meeting Bieber is an honor second only to meeting Kahless"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Now, Mr. O'Brien, I want to make sure I've been perfectly clear: when we materialize on the planet's surface, counselor Troi is to have no pants, and neither should I. But only myself and the counselor. God help you if Mr. Worf appears down there with his ribbed musclular fifth appendage."

 

[2takesfrakes]

.... Thanks for the win! >: )

DATA: "Commander, why would someone wish to desecrate the gravesite of such an historical figure as Captain James T. Kirk?"

RIKER: "Oh, this is nothing, Data. You should go visit Jim Morrison's grave, when we're back on Earth."

 

[Finn]

Picard: We will wait outside while the Emergency Transporter Chief Hologram here distracts the Admirals. Once he takes them into the back room, We will have to rush and beam out.

Holographic Miles: Wait a bloody minute, what do you mean holographic? Out of all things that could happen to me....

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Worf: Bah. Pink Floyd special effects have no honor!