TNG Caption This! #350: Time Capsule: Part 1

[Holdfast]

Thank you for continuing to run these caption contests after so many years, LeadHead!

Hopefully I won't accidently repeat any captions from the first time round...

PICARD: Damn, I've forgotten my password.
RIKER: Don't worry, all our security systems are designed to be easily hacked by opening the panel and moving a couple of chips around.

RIKER: Captain, this is very dangerous! The universe can't contain two of my egos.

WORF: I didn't do it.

TROI: It's an honour to be present at the birth of a meme.

PICARD: Go ahead, shoot. I have a replacement CMO lined up already.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Kiss him? Why me?

PICARD: As a son of the House of Mohg, you're the closest thing we have to a Prince.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Oh, I just died in your arms tonight. It must've been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight - whoa, whoa ..."

 

[2takesfrakes]

Picard: "You, there! Captain Picard! What say you to some "alone time," in our quarters?"

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Leadhead, and congratulations on #350! Thanks for many great contests! Thanks also to all who participate and keep some of us LOLing and drawing strange looks! Here's to new posters, regulars and those who have come before!

Picard: Computer, override turbolift lockout authorization Picard #1BPMSN.
Riker: Oh ha ha.

Picard #2: Thirty-two!
Riker#1: What was that, sir?
Picard #1: Powerball number.
Data#1: Pre-determined temporal anomaly response. Ingenious, sir.
Data#2: Crab lotion!

By Kahless's hammer, I will avenge - ooh, Snickers minis!

Troi: And then he programmed her to say "When you're touching the engines, you're touching me."
Picard: Something I learned from my archaeology days - it's best not to turn over some rocks.

Beverly: This one time, when Wesley was a baby -
Data: This is your first and only warning.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard 1: "OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?"
Picard 2, Riker 2 & Data 2 "69 dudes!"
Picard 1, Riker 1 & Data 1 "Woah!"
[sextuple air guitar solo]

 

[doubleohfive]

Here are my entries:

Troi grinned enthusiastically after pointing out to Picard that everyone knew the model on his shelf wasn't actually Stargazer, but a cheap, spraypainted ERTL knockoff.

DATA: What does Geordi La Forge look like?
CRUSHER: What?
DATA: Say "what" one more time! I dare you! I double dog dare you!

 

[Noname Given]

Picard: "I swear, whomever it was in the Star Fleet Corps. of Engineers who thought is was a good idea for ONE restroom on a ship with 1000 plus crewmembers needs to be spaced!"

 

[Leviathan]

Riker: So. Does one of us have to kill their own grandfather?

Data: Back off doc, this oil is MINE.

 

[Armored Saint]

PICARD: Numbah One, would you stop staring at yourself in my head and say your fucking override code?

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I don't suppose you have any quarters?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: Note to engineering - Sirius Cybernetics Corporation turbolifts are NO longer to be installed on Starfleet vessels.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Think about it.

RIKER: But sir, they're evil!

PICARD:All I'm saying is a beard might be a good look for you.

 

[Armored Saint]

DATA: Enough Beverly Nerys Myk Crusher! That is the last photoshop award you will have won!

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Ah, ze Enterprise, her sign says "Non non" but her turboshaft says "Oui oui."
Riker<tapping communicator>: Riker to sickbay, Code Baguette.

Picard': What time is it there?
Picard'': Data?
Data'': Four o'clock, sir.
Picard'': Four o'clock! What time is it there?
Picard': Data?
Data': Three o'clock, sir.
Picard': Three o'clock!
Data': I would like to remind the captain that I am a lieutenant commander and capable of performing more duties than a digital clock radio -
Picard': Snooze mode, Lieutenant.
Data': <Sigh>Yes sir.

Worf: Now's my chance! Computer, Enrique Iglesias.
Riker: I'm up.

Troi: ...and then she told him "This never happened." And he said "Tell that to Spacebook!"
Picard: Isn't there some sort of confidentiality clause that applies here -
Troi: You'd think, right?

Armus: Why does this one not mind getting shot in the face?
All: Wesley.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard (sighs): "Another message from Vash describing in detail what a 'wonderful, sensual' time she's having with Q."
Troi: "She turned out to be a vicious little bitch, didn't she."

 

[Armored Saint]

DATA:Who do you think you are? British Petroleum? You will clean up your mess!

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: It's okay, a lot of people forget to erase their search histories.

PICARD: Thanks for understanding.

TROI: Well...about "Betazed Badonkadonks".

 

[Triskelion]

Troi: ...and when Robin Lefler saw him watching her, he shouted "Perimeter alert, Captain! Perimeter alert!"
Picard: Don't you have, like, patients?
Troi: Tell me about it!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Troi: And then, Will did this thing to me that he likes to call "Pruning the hibiscus."