TNG Caption This! 320: On top of the world

[Santa Kang]

PICARD: Looks like she's about to pass out. I knew it was a good idea to reprogram the replicator to make her dress a size smaller.

 

[R. Star]

Thank you for the win, Leadhead!

Geordi: (singing) Do you like Pina Coladas?

Troi: Oh no! Not again! Captain, we must escape!
Riker: What is it?!
Picard: Either Lwaxana or Wesley are back, I'm guessing.

Second Officer's Log: I have installed extensive modifications and now believe I am fully functional and able to perform the maneuver known as a handjob.

Man on Right: You're alive?!
Man on Left: Phaser proof kevlar, I'm tired of dying.

Riker: It's times like this I wish we had a method of transportation in between walk and fly in the space ship.

 

[Triskelion]

!@#$% vegetarians tell me I can't have ribs....

 

[Santa Kang]

Dude, I told you. Don't wear red!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Henshaw: What, am I being interrogated here? Is this some kind of bust?
Geordi: Actually, yes, it's very impressive, but I just wanted to have a picnic here.

"I choose YOU, Pikachu!"

 

[Finngle Bells]

Geordi: *thinkiing* She's exactly like The Leah Brahms I've read about!

His date: *thinking* I should have asked Riker for an advance payment

 

[inflatabledalek]

Geordi: I had no idea when we entered the "Best Dressed Person on the Holodeck" contest that the drink would win it.

Captain's Log: Stardate 43654.32: Troi's experiment with late 1980's make up techniques is severely weighing down her face.

Data: The tatoo removal process is most vexing, I now wish I had never had my fellow cadets convince me to have Uhura fan dancing naked inked on my hand.

Man: Yes Mr. Data, we can shoot lasers from our nipples!

Riker: Christ, and Geordi thinks he has a hard time getting laid...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "Just one more thing. Do you mind if I call you 'Leah'?"

 

[Hedbergian]

After the rioters had fled, and with much indifference and sulking, Riker returned and hoisted his last decent wood maker upon his shoulder, and made hasty retreat from his failed amusement park, FrakesLand: a place of jolly ineptitude, where fun rides were laughed at, pins and needles tossed at first time visitors, kids recited the Papal lineage, clam chowder served with serrated knives, and toast boiled. When asked for comment as to why the park failed, he remarked, "I'm not sure".

 

[Triskelion]

^I had to google that to see if it was swiped! Jolly hilarious good chap! Python TNG!

LaFroog: And then Marshall Mathers totally ripped off the whole "My name is" thing. Think I saw a penny of that action?

Henshaw: You can't imagine my ennui. Buy me something. Something...fleecey.

 

[Santa Kang]

GEORDI: So are those shoulders common in your species?

HENSHAW: I'm human, you idiot.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "Oh dear. My second toe is longer than my big toe, but yours is not. This won't do. No, this won't do at all."

 

[Santa Kang]

HENSHAW (thinking): I gave up a date with Reg Barclay to go out with this guy?

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Geordi: And so then I realized my replicator was miscalibrated causing my boots to be too tight and pointy which is why my feet have been killing me, and....am I boring you?

Worf: I can clearly see the rods holding up the disc, this trick is stupid.

 

[Triskelion]

"Fucking stairs."

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"I will call him George and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him."

 

[Triskelion]

Stubbs: "Lady Magnolia's Interstellar Cathouse and Wax Museum".
Worf: That still does not prove he got some.

 

[Dale Sams]

]

(Well...she doesn't like Pina Coladas...)

Geordi: "Computer. Cancel getting caught in the rain."

 

[Santa Kang]

HENSHAW: (thinking)What I wouldn't give for an exploding rock, stray lightning bolt or angry God right now.

 

[Hedbergian]

Counselor Troi's personal log: Everything today was fine, everything was good. They go in to the ready room, come out, and have that look in their eyes again. And they say new seatbelts are a waste of money. This mission's gonna hurt.