TNG Caption This! 304: Love is in the atmosphere...

[Triskelion]

Picard: I wanted to try something called a Ménage à Troi, but Deanna said no. Now we shall never know that naughty pleasure for as long as we live!

Crusher: The word is Trois, you ginormous douche. Aren't you supposed to be French?

 

[Ln X]

Data: And after this toast we will perform the 1001 Risian acts of jamaharon for six days and seven nights...

Picard: Beverly, it was always just the two of us; me and the earl grey...

Lal: Stay still while I investigate intimacy...

Q: And the note says: People can you feel it, par'mach is in the air. People can you see it, par'mach is everywhere. Ew how gross!

 

[Ln X]

Data: How do I feel about you? Well my dear you are an adequate substitute for Tasha Yar...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "I propose a toast! To the first bit of salacious gossip about us that Geordi overheard in Ten Forward yesterday!"

Crusher: "I'm not sure how to tell you this, Jean Luc. Vash and I had a long talk about you last night, and we came to the conclusion that the two of us really don't need you."

 

[ncc71877]

Worf: "Who is first for in line for a forehead ride?"

Data: "I will still rescept you, but I am bound by the "Bro Code" to tell Geordi, so the rest of the ship will not."

Beverly: "I know this isn't a dream because you're not naked!"

"Commander! What did I tell you about my wait staff and your tongue!

Q walks in two minutes later on old-Picard and young-Batanides
Q: "Well, I'll never unsee that."

ncc71877

 

[Holdfast]

WORF: Human females are too weak. I demand a mate strong enough to support the weight of her own head!

DATA: I call this drink, the Roofie Surprise.

CRUSHER: Thank you for asking, but my answer depends on the size of the engagement ring and I don't see one...

GUINAN: I told Riker he had to stop paying his bar bill this way.

Q: Yikes. The things you see doing this job. Is that even a girl, Jean-Luc? I'll come back later, when you're less busy with the tentacles.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Guinan: "Relax, Riker. She's just using her built-in breathalyzer to see if it's time to cut you off."

 

[Triskelion]

Data: Technically I am fully functional and anatomically correct. But if you examine that particular port you'll see the inspection sticker says "Exit Only."

Q: Flowers for one Geordi LaForge from a Pakled named Grebnedlog? The card says "We are Pakleds. Our ship is the Mondor. It is broken...."

Geordi: Still beats Wesley.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: It's a lovely little petroleum from a region on Earth called "Texas".

 

[Isis]

Once you go 'droid, everything else is one big void.

Picard: "No, Beverly, lizard beats scissors."

 

[LeadHead]

Just a reminder everyone, the Captains log award isn't just a one time thing, please keep those hilarious reports to starfleet command coming!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

First Officer's Personal Log: "Met an interesting new bartender named Lal in Ten Forward today. Looked to be going in an interesting direction, until her father turned up. You will not believe who her father is... The second piece of bad news turned out when I learned when her birthday is....

I've been staring at the wall of the brig for the last four hours now... My lawyer has advised me to use the Ocampan defence."

 

[Ln X]

Captain's log supplemental, we received a distress call from Lawnjayree Five, a Federation colony in the Pantee'ose system, and rescued a few dozen pimps and about several hundred hoes. Suffice to say crew performance has notably plummeted...

 

[inflatabledalek]

Belated FTW!

Dorn: Really? this costs less than just giving me a chair?




I didn't say take the women away.

Data: You know how the Holodeck has this ability to project clothes onto peoples bodies?

Jenna: I don't know, I heard that could make you look kind of old and fat and red faced...

Data: Do not worry, I do not wish to project hologramatic clothes onto your body, I wish to project Tasha Yar's face over yours.

Captain's Log Stardate 44.4106: I do wish Beverly would stop bothering me when I'm trying to use the brand new Captain's latrine.

Lal: Mmmmm... haddock.

Q: And I've got a card for inflatable dalek... from nobody. Sucks to be you.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

"Security Officer's log: WHO DA MAN!!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

"Security Officer's log: WHO DA MAN!!"

Blond: Actually... me.

 

[jespah]

Worf (thinking) Ah, now they'll finally stop writing me slash scenes.

Data - Jenna, I am enjoying the seder. When do we break out the matzoh?

Beverly - Okay, I can definitely see it now. You waxed your pate!

Riker (thinking) - I gotta go watch an NX-01 holodeck program to clear my mind of this memory. Something relaxing that I like to call, "These are the Voyages".

Q - Despite the Continuum taking over UPS, we still get the deliveries wrong. These were supposed to be a bouquet of live Calrissian chameleons.

 

[Triskelion]

Worf: I like your bumpy throat ridge.
Blonde: It's an adam's apple, you great buttock.

Data: A toast, to your upcoming video premiere.

Jenna: ...What?

Sorry Jean Luc, but to quote Shakespeare, "You bore the hell out of me."

Lal: Why are my loins locking down and fusing shut?
Data: Heh heh. Father of the Century.

Flowers for Commander Riker from Commander Data? It says, "Sorry about your recent tongue electrocution. Get well soon."

 

[Isis]

Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. Q has gotten Valentine's Day confused with Groundhog Day, and lately wakes me up every morning with a romantic serenade. Where's Kelsey Grammer when you need him?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Q: "Delivery for Christy Henshaw from Geordi LaForge. Argelian Stinkweed. I'm assuming you turned him down again?"