TNG Caption This #215: Riker, William T.

[LeadHead]

Good evening Ladies and Gents! Hope the week has been good to you, lets get the ball rolling...

First up to the plate, we have the "Fully Equipped Deity" Award, going to...

Picard: I am a god, and I HAVE a starship....

Next, the "Hope you've got AAA" Award goes to...

[loud pop sound then the ship leans to the left]

Picard: Damn! We got a flat!

Riker: We can't go the rest of the way on the rim. Worf! Have we got a spare?

Worf: Yes, but it's one of the stupid space saver ones.

Riker: Damn!

Next, the "Professor Farnsworth Award for Making Space Driving More Difficult" goes to...

Picard: "I hate getting stuck behind these big starships. You can't see a thing, and we're liable to be here all afternoon."

Next, "The FreshSickbayExplosionMaker" Award goes to...

Picard: (Thinking) Mento's and Romulan Ale is not a good idea.

Next, the "They had to get one right eventually" Award goes to...

Patrick Stewart - No, hold off for a minute Frakes, and let's listen to his idea. Did he mention the Borg? This one actually might not suck.

The photocopier failed to meet the demand for signed photos...

Continuing on with our character-centric contests, we have the First Officer/Captain/First Officer again of the USS Enterprise!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: I hope this makes things clear. You may not use my Ready Room to impress your dates.

Riker: Backfire!

Worf: No, you're holding it wrong again.

Worf: The Goldshirts don't like the way you redshirts have been talking lately.

La Forge: Okay, that picture came out badly. Anyone want me to turn the flash off?

Riker, Troi and Data: YES!!!

One of the the effects of Data explaining things, is that people will nap on the bridge.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

A JJ Abrams Film: Lens Flare - The Next Generation

 

[Saturn0660]

How Riker get his hand ready for the "stranger"

 

[Skywalker]

Riker: "Man, that was some bachelor party. Huh...how did this lightsaber get here?"

 

[Finn]

Riker: Alright, he didn't die then.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: I hope Bitsy appreciates this. I found the most lifelike Barbie/Ken doll set I could for her birthday.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "Alright, dammit, you win! It's not too dangerous! I approve of your beaming down to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet! Now will you let me out of here?!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: "Commander Riker, you're in here because you made fun of Captain Picard Day. As punishment, you will be disbarred from the vacation on Risa."

Riker: "I'm not actually Riker, I'm Marritza."

Picard: "Oh well, then you're free to go have some more plastic surgery to finish your crazy suicide plot."

Riker (Under breath): "Sucker..."

Picard: "What was that?"

Riker: "Oh, nothing. Just mumbling to myself in Cardassian, cause... that's what us Cardassians do!"

Riker: "Well, this is the last time I start randomly using implements just lying around in sickbay."

Riker: "Good beard, Worf -" (Turns to Data) "I see you have betrayed us, smoothskin."

Riker: "Alright, Geordi, you've made your point - stop pointing your flashlight at the Captain's head!"

A wild Rikerbeast marks its territory.

 

[Supernuke]

Riker: Will they ever install seat belts on this ship?!?!

 

[Gary7]

Riker: "Damn it, I can never work the zippers on these things. Hmmm... that cutting laser. Let's see..."

Riker: "Hey Worf, Data... what's up?"
Data: "We've discussed it at great length and have come to a decision."
Worf: "The beard. It's time to remove it."

Data: "Where is Worf going?"
Riker: "I can't believe he's leaving without us!"
Deanna: "I told you not to insult him like that."

Riker: "Oh, this control panel... so smoooooooooooth...."

 

[Expo67]

A JJ Abrams Film: Lens Flare - The Next Generation

"Get that light out of our faces!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The Hangover, Part III

 

[TigerOfDarkness]

Thanks for the win!

Riker: Hmm - it says "just press here to increase your sexual prowess and boost your attractiveness to women"

Worf: A "senior officer" has fallen for Wesley's fake sexual prowess improvement device
Data: It is true sir - they are all laughing on the lower decks

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "Christ! Didn't anyone warn Worf not to jostle that tri-cobalt glycerin?!"
Troi: "I thought you did!"

 

[Distorted Humor]

Thanks for the WIN!
Bits from "The Hangover, The Next Generation"

Picard: How did you get a Kryonian tiger and "Cardiassian party Moles" in your quarters? must of been one heck of a bachlor party numba one.

Riker: this is funny, it says that one of my kidney's was removed last night...

Worf: you don't remember ANYTHING from last night?
RIker: No, why
Data: Let us meet your new wife. its not Troi...

Troi: Next time don't get drunk and marry a energy being and then ask for annulment, the get very very Angry...

At the end of the epiode, it turns out that it was Thomas Riker who had gotten in all the trouble, Will Riker had been passed out on the bridge the entire episode...

 

[Isis]

Riker (to self): "It's handy having this portable defibrillator on away missions, but what I could have really used was a pocket-sized styling comb."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Riker: Data, for the record, Tasha ASKED for it.

Troi: CAPTAIN ROBAU! WE'RE OVER HERE!

Crusher, OS: NO, Will! You don't shave a hairshirt!
Riker, grumbling: I hate medieval plays.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Thats the third car that passed us by. Looks like you're gonna have to lose the top.

 

[Bad Atom]

I have a (somewhat obvious) recurring theme here...

"I think we can skip the court-martial this time, but from now on, cut back on the Holodeck "historical research", okay?"

Faced between appearing in "These are the Voyages" or death, Riker makes the clear choice.

Riker and Troi face the wrath of angry Enterprise fans...