TNG Caption This #209: Ready, Steady, Go.

[LeadHead]

Good evening ladies and gents, it's time now for a new contest!

Leading off, we have the "Trek Hippie Mobile" Award goes to:

Data: "All they would tell me is that some guy by the name of Carl Spock used to own it."

​

Next, the "Dorothy Gale Award for Having a Heart" goes to:

Data: "Oil can...Oil can..."

Next, the "Inappropriate Office Behavior" Award goes to:

Data: Doctor, whatever you are doing with my on and off switch, don't stop.

Next, the "Sometimes a great sense of smell is a terrible thing" Award:

Worf: "Looks like someone forgot his Right Guard this morning."

Next, the "Doctor Nick Riviera" Award goes to:

Captain Picard: "Hi Everybody!"
Ten Forward Audience, offscreen: "Hi Captain Picard!"

Our Tag Team Award goes to:

Data: Commander.
Riker: What?
Data: Can you hear singing?

TIGH: You hearing that frakking song too?

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Geordi: What the hell was that?

Data: Spaceball One.

Geordi: They've gone to plaid!

Ten Foward: NORM!

Guinan glares at everyone.

Ten Forward: CAPTAIN!

And now, got a new batch for ya, congrats to all our participants, now let the good times roll!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: I told you NEVER to bring up the time I wore the Male Skirt again!

Picard: Report.

La Forge: The Aft Hull has an STD.

Worf: Cool! I can make the phasers fire with my mind!

Ghostly Voice: Denny Crane....

O'Brien: Now why did we "trick out" The warp core?

La Forge: The babes, O'Brien, it's always about the babes.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: Its my new look. What do you think?

PICARD: Shuttle 2, wait for the doors to open.

WORF: Crap, I left that porn site up on my station.

PICARD: I love it when a plan comes together.

OBRIEN: Yeah, but can it make beer?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Conn: "'Space poop'?"
Ops: "Look, I don't write the sensor returns! I just read 'em!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: Why do I have the feeling I'm going to be doing this every time she opens her mouth?

Worf, OS: Detecting explosive decompression near a row of heads, Captain.
Picard, wincing: Klingon cuisine, from the looks of it.

Picard, to Troi: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Find something 'interesting' posted on the crew bulletin page, Captain? You know, if you knew you were going to kick Nella Daren off the ship, you never should have let her take nude photos of you."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win.

Troi: "Ooh, a facepalm. You ought to copyright that."

Picard: "Whoever parked the starship under a spacetree is on report. The paint job is ruined!"

Picard: "Say goodnight, Gracie."

Whalesong echoes through ship.

 

[Holdfast]

Thanks for the include, LeadHead!

"Yes Captain, I'm afraid the internet is indeed full of that meme."

"Skidmarks?! How the...?

Captain to Engineering; Geordi, I told you to wipe the plasma ports clean after venting."

"No, Number One, the cigar was unlit when I found it. What do you mean Troi's already used it?"

 

[Isis]

Frakes (to self): "There's no doubt this will be one of the best TNG episodes ever. Never mind that it has no plot and only rudimentary characterization; anything that shows off my profile at this angle is an instant classic."

 

[Isis]

Picard: "Yes. That's it! That guy who was on Fringe last night--I know where I've seen him before."

 

[jep]

Crusher (OS): "The senior staff bought that cigar for you at auction, Captain. It originally belonged to President Bill Clinton."


Picard: "Well, I DO love a vintage cig... wait... Bill "Blue Dress" Clinton? SPIT!!!"



.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Q (O.S.): Don't bet on it, Picard.

A klaxon blares.

Computer: Warning! Fire-suppression system activated. Force field envelopment in five seconds, three, two, one.

 

[Isis]

Conn: "'Space poop'?"
Ops: "Look, I don't write the sensor returns! I just read 'em!"

Conn: "All I know is that it always happens right after we get the Enterprise washed."

 

[Isis]

Troi: "I sense great annoyance that you fell for the Crazyglue trick again."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Rickrolled again?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: Come on Captain, some of the captions are funny. And they haven't posted the assless chaps picture in a long time.

 

[Subcommander R.]

Troi: Calm down Captain, no one actually expects Donald Trump to win the primary.

Crusher (OS): Are you sure it isn't just something on the viewscreen, maybe Worf sneezed again without covering his nose?

Worf (thinking): Hmmmmm. Maybe with a Romulan warbird powering up forward weapons I should be at my console instead of chatting up Riker... Nah.

Picard: No Numbah One, when I said the ship was 'tobacco-free' I just meant you weren't allowed.

O'Brien: Who the devil turned the warp core into a giant lava lamp?

Geordi: Who cares, it looks super groovy.

 

[UssGlenn]

Thanks for the win!

Troi: "OK, Captain cover your eyes and count to 30, I'll go hide."
Picard: "one thousand one, one thousand two..."

Rick Berman: "Dammit, who put out their cigar on the model of the ship?"

Patrick Stewart:"...."

 

[Subcommander R.]

O'Brien: Now why did we "trick out" The warp core?

La Forge: The babes, O'Brien, it's always about the babes.

O'Brien: Like you'd know?

Data: Actually, Chief O'Brien has a point; approximately 89.743- But perhaps now is not the time...

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Ha! And you said full service stations were a thing of the past!