TNG Caption This #207: Ro, Ro, Ro, your boat...

[LeadHead]

Happy April Fools everyone, after thinking long and hard about some prank to pull on you, I realized that a greater holiday happens today, The Oakland A's Opening Game, which means start the new Caption Contest before game time!

So without further ado...

First up to the plate, the "State Secrets" Award goes to:

Worf: "My lips are sealed. I will never divulge the ingredients in MacDonald's special sauce."

Get your Split Fingered Fastball ready for the "Communication Failure" Award and hand it over to:

Riker: Guinan, all I did was ask for Sex on the Beach.

Root, Root, Root for the Home team and give the "Not even close to true love" Award goes to:

Troi: "I'm glad you told me, Jean Luc; I know it wasn't easy. And I love you, too...just...not that way. More like as an older, creepy grandfather way."

Batting Cleanup, the "Unfair Play" Award goes to:

Geordie: Doctor, how are we supposed to play Battleship if you keep looking over here?

Our Designated hitter of the night, and the "Expendable Auxiliary Craft Award" goes to:

LA FORGE: We cant just go handing shuttles out like candy! This isn't Voyager!

And we're gonna bring it home with our closer!

Riker: "...whiskey?"

(bonus points to whoever recognizes what movie I'm referencing)

Data to Guinan: "Shoot them. Shoot them both."

And you get the award because up to that moment, I thought you were referencing Dollhouse.

Okay, now as the title of the thread suggests we're going to spend a thread with the Enterprise's most popular Helm Officer (Geordi was DQed when he won Chief Engineer and Wesley actually go -200 votes)

Lets go!

Play Ball!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Ensign, I've decided that you will be assigned to DS9.

Ro: Screw that! Maquis, here i come!

Ro: Riker said What about my kissing technique?

Ro: That's for insulting the Hairband!

Ro: What is this? Middle School? You two are grown women, sit down already!

Ro: Worf or the weird looking guy? Worf or the weird looking guy? Worf or the weird looking guy?

 

[Alrik]

Nice switch up L.H. Thanks for the "W" last week!

Ro: "Eyes are up here sir."

Picard: "Yes Ensign, thank you."

Ro: "You're still staring."

Picard: "Yes Ensign, thank you."

Data: "Nice rack."

Picard: "Yes Data, thank you."

Ro: "I think I need to talk with someone in H.R."

Ro: "I can't believe it's not butter."

Everyone was kung fu fighting.....

Crusher: "She has a history of watching out for herself and betraying those around her."

Troi: "Oh Bevery, she would never do that to us."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Romulan: "Oh, yeah! That's the ticket, baby! Hit me again! Do it, baby, do it!"

Crusher: "Guinan called me about her. She's been sitting here moping over that one drink for seven hours now!"
Troi: "And Guinan wants us to see if we can find out what's troubling her?"
Crusher: "Not exactly. She wants us to either get her drinking or get her out of here! Otherwise she's going to institute a cover charge on Ten-Forward!"

Ro: "I'm sorry, but...do you mind if we move to a table farther away from the air conditioning vents?"

 

[Holdfast]

Couldn't resist, with that sequence of screencaps...

 

[Subcommander R.]

Picard: Ensign, just because I do 'the Picard maneuver' next to you doesn't mean-

Ro: Why can't you just admit you fancy me?

Picard: Thats it, she's off the show.

Geordi (OS): I was cleaning out the old holodeck programming, and I found one of Commander Riker's called 'Ro-Worf Threesome.' I think you might want to have a word with him.

Ro: Good thing he has weak hips...

Martia from STVI (OS): Not everybody keeps their genitals in the same place.

Troi: Isn't that the new Bajoran Ensign who Riker keeps eyeballing?
Crusher: I guess so, wasn't Will just saying the other day that she'd be great in a threesome with Worf?

Ro: You guys know I can hear you, right?

Ro: Look, is this your first time with tea leaves or something?

Guy: No, I uh... uh...

Ro: My palm is about to read your face if you don't give me my ten bucks back.

 

[Nerys Myk]

GATES: She's popular with the fans.

MARINA: So?

GATES: More popular than us.

MARINA: So we "Crosby" her?

GATES: Oh, yeah!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

The real reason Michelle Forbes left the show...

Do you know how much it cost to hire Michael Jackson as a stunt double?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Ro: PREGNANT? But I - we only....<is lost for words>
Worf, smugly: Klingons are VERY potent. The Great Kahless himself impregnated four women just by staring into their souls.

Crusher: Looks like a woman drowning her sorrows in liquor. Looks like a job for...
Crusher, Troi,: THE DYNAMIC DOCTOR DUO!
Crusher: Medicine!
Troi: Support!
Crusher, Troi: TOGETHER WE TRIUMPH!
Ro: Oh, god. I'm getting out of here.
Crusher, Troi: ANOTHER RESOUNDING SUCCESS!

Picard: Ensign.
Ro: Captain?
Picard: In the future, you will refrain from referring to me as your Gallic Lord while on the bridge.
...especially when informing Admiral Nechayev that I am in my ready room and will be out momentarily.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crusher: "Oh, my! I think Ro is plastered!"
Troi (chuckles): "Maybe we should call Geordi. This might be his only chance to avoid dying a virgin."
Crusher (snorts): "Girl, you're awful!"

 

[Vulpes]

Data (thinking): Look at how how lovingly they gaze into each others' eyes! I suppose I'll never win Captain Picard's heart.

The first part of the Klingon courting ritual is playing footsie.

Troi (to Beverly): She gets like this whenever she loses at Pair Match.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: In the future, please refrain from calling Mister Data "toaster" or "skinjob".

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Ensign, I must insist that you wear pants on the bridge."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Your opinion, Ensign Ro?

PICARD: Ro?

WORF: She's asleep, sir. She painted eyeballs on her eyelids again.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Picard: Two Officers, one Bridge?

Ensign Ro: It has been done in the past, sir.

Worf couldn't keep himself from staring at Ro's nice, big, luscious, bouncy eyebrows.

 

[NX-01]

Picard - Ensign I request your company in my cabin tonight.
Ro - No..
Picard - Ok I was just being polite, I demand you be there! It is my turn...
Ro - WHAT?!?
Data - We rotate the females, I have Kieko O'Brien tonight.
Ro - And if I refuse?
Picard - It's me or Geordie...
Ro - OK OK, you win... 19 hundred hours?
Picard - Agreed **smiles**

Dr Crusher (OS) - Too much damage was caused, I am afriad you'll never be able to have sex again without suffering serve pain.
Worf - I told you you were too weak to have me!
Ro - WHAT?!?!

Ro - No-one grabs my ass!!!

Crusher - Don't you just hate Bajorans?
Troi - I know, so whiney aren't they?
Crusher - They are worse than Emo's!!
Troi - I know!!!

 

[Whoa Nellie]

Riker: "...whiskey?"

(bonus points to whoever recognizes what movie I'm referencing)

Data to Guinan: "Shoot them. Shoot them both."

And you get the award because up to that moment, I thought you were referencing Dollhouse.

Thank you! As soon as I saw "whiskey" the second quote was all I could hear. Whenever my two children are needlessly bickering Mr. Whoa Nellie and I tend to throw that particular movie quote around.

Warmest Wishes,
Whoa Nellie

 

[Mistral]

Ro: "Voyager? I'd rather go back to prison. Or join the Maquis!"

Worf: "What are you complaining about? They're sending me to DS-9."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead.

Deanna: Well, I think it's time I let her know about Will.

Beverly: You mean that he's slept with every woman who's served aboard the Enterprise?

Deanna: No, that she's not going to get her earrings back.

 

[Isis]

Close captioning of Ro and Worf's telepathic conversation...

Worf: "Hey Baby, wanna watch the submarine races after this shift?"

Ro: "Not on your life, bully boy."