TNG Caption This #181: Technobabble on...

[LeadHead]

Happy saturday to all! Lets download the Bynars database and get lens flare on the viewscreen, time for some winners!

First, for showing that sometimes "Access Denied" can be bettr for you in the long run, our winner is:

Riker: "Damn. I was really looking forward to rubbing shoulders with the likes of Paris or Li-Lo."

Picard: "What did the doorman mean by 'standards'?"

For showing that nobody had any dignity left after Code of Honor, our winner is:

and in this blooper from Code of Honor, Denise Crosby forgets about the warm-up and starts looking for what's left of her dignity...

For revealing the lack of safety protocols aboard the Enterprise, our winner is:

Worf: I wonder what this doe--
It was a good day to die.

For showing that the destiny of the TNG movie run left something to be desired, our winner is:

Kirk was right.................. I should've stayed in the Nexus

And, for bringing much needed attention to a very dangerous part of every department store, our winner is:

An unfortunate transporter accident had the away team beamed directly into the perfume aisle at the department store. There were no survivors.

Congrats to our winners!

And now, our next round:

and because I'm hoping to get some photoshops, (hint hint)

On with the captions!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: We finally got seatbelts!

Troi: Yeah, and you celebrate by flying us into a black hole?

Ro: I've got a good angle on Captain Picard.

La Forge: But he's not possessed.

Ro: Who cares? If he goes down we all get promoted!

Troi: Thank you Data for catching me. I'm not being pursued by Riker or Worf right now and it's just so stressfull!

Data: Can we please aim the high powered weapon anywhere else?

Riker: Are we about to meet our doubles?

Data: No Commander, we don't get to have alternate universe episodes.

 

[Isis]

Her crewmates knew Troi was having a problem when she started deluding herself that the fluorescent lighting was a sunroof.

Ro: "Damn contraption. The box said easy for any 5-year-old to assemble. Problem is there's not one 5-year-old on this ship."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Oh! God! Will! What ever you just did, do it again!"

Ro: "I don't like having to sneak around and hide like this!"
LaForge: "Well, neither do I. But unless the captain rescinds his 'no Leisure Suit Larry' rule, I don't see any alternative."
Ro: "Quiet! I just made it to Level 12!"

Data: "My God, Counselor! You dance worse than Elaine Benis!"

Engineer in background: "Fire in the hole!"
Data: "Query: What does 'fire in the'--ARRRRRGHHHH!"

 

[Gepard]

DATA: "♫ A British tar is a soaring soul/As free as a mountain bird...♫"

RIKER [muttering]: "Every time?"

 

[Subcommander R.]

Riker's attempts to get his shuttle license had a tendency to fail miserably every time.

Ro: All right, the camera is installed over Troi's quarters now.

Geordi: Great, Riker is going to love this!

Picard: Oh calm down Counselor, haven't you ever seen a vaccination for Pakled Death Flu before?

Data: Why Ceiling Cat? Have I displeased you somehow?

 

[UssGlenn]

Riker: Deanna! Stop backseat driving!

Geordi: Ensign, take a note: tell the maintenance crew that the perspective generators in the Jefferies tubes are acting up again.

Data: You're out Counselor, I didn't say "Simon says".

There can be only one!!!!

 

[Mojochi]

Troi: I take it back, Will. Put your thumb back in your ass. It was doing less harm there

Ro: You'd think there'd be an easier way to flush a toilet on this tub
Geordi: Hey, it's Worf's quarters. We can't afford a containment breach

Data: I can't believe you made this clumsy twit a full commander before me. My latinum's on her crashing the whole damn ship

Riker: I hope it's not the one with spooky long beard Riker, from the Borg dimension.

Some of Data's medals had to be returned, when it was found out that he had been juicing

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

For showing that nobody had any dignity left after Cod of Honor

Really? I didn't think they did that just for the halibut. I mean, the script was a bit fishy, but it wasn't exactly continuity prawn or anything like that. Maybe they should have brought in extra writers to kelp out, but at least the episode aired on salmon enchanted evening.

Riker: I see a little silhouetto of a man.

Data: Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Troi: Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening me.

All three: Galileo! Galileo! Magnificoooooooooooooooooooo....

 

[kes7]

For showing that nobody had any dignity left after Cod of Honor

Really? I didn't think they did that just for the halibut. I mean, the script was a bit fishy, but it wasn't exactly continuity prawn or anything like that. Maybe they should have brought in extra writers to kelp out, but at least the episode aired on salmon enchanted evening.

Riker: I see a little silhouetto of a man.

Data: Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Troi: Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening me.

All three: Galileo! Galileo! Magnificoooooooooooooooooooo....

Whole post, made of win.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win...

Hmm, Cod of honour typo fooled with... Highlander referenced, I may as well sit this one out... But...

Troi: "I'm sensing great panic..."

Data and Riker: "Oh Shut Up!"

Ro: "Where are the Vulcan crew quarters. I think Vorik has his pon farr this week."
LaForge: "It was my turn to be ceiling cat."
Ro: "What's the point? Leah Brahms isn't even aboard now."

Picard: "The irony of an android creating a Troi sex doll for personal gratification does not escape me, Data."

LaForge os: "My mistake Data, the Van der Graaf generator is still in the ship's school."

Data: "Voice message only, they say their Chamber's Coil is overloading their comm transmissions."

Riker: "I've got a bad feeling about this."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

All (Thinking)So this is where that Vegas ride ended up

Ro: "So this is what the celling cat looks like on this side"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Data: Ohhhhhh shiii-
Riker: YOU'RE A BIT EARLY FOR THAT, DATA!

Picard: Ow. She hit me! She gave me a boo-boo!
Data: I have restrained her, sir.

Learning about Geordi's poker tells carried its risks.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: I think I can realign the intertial dampners for a smoother ride.

TROI: Don't you dare! I'm about to have my first orgasm!!!!

RIKER: *

RO: I figured you'd be the one to appreciate a private place to view porn.

DATA: You do not shoulder punch the Captain!!!!

DATA: Lower. Lower

RIKER: Man, what a fugly ship.

 

[Alienesse]

Riker: Data, I thought I told you to install a joystick in this thing. I can't fly without a joystick. Where is it?
Data: I assumed it was one of your attempts at humor, Commander.
Riker: Well, Deanna, I guess you'll learn how to crash a ship.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Data soon discovered that the Orgasmatron needed a tune-up.

 

[Captain Crow]

The unsuccessful remake of "Danger!! Death Ray".

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Data: "Curious... This energy ray appears to have tripped my jewishness subroutine."

 

[Finn]

Riker: What ship is it? The Yamato?
Data: *Looks at his station* No sir. It's the USS Bitsy
Riker: Reeed Alert!!! Sheilllds up!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "It's really a bitch trying to get to Yoda's house, isn't it?"

LaForge: "What's wrong? You look a little ill."

Ro: "I just drilled into Guinan's shower."

Picard: "Excuse me, but I'm the one with the rash on his arm. Help me out first."

Data: "If I had emotions, I would imagine that I would be tired of being the ship's test dummy."

Riker: "Hey, it's our sister ship, the Yamato. Maybe this time we'll team up and kick some Romulan..."

*Yamato explodes*

Riker: "...ass."