TNG Caption This #180: That's a headache...

[LeadHead]

Good saturday to everyone, since I was late in the day with this last time around, I decided to be more prompt for you all today.

First, lets say hello to a few well deserved winners!

For following the thinking of Bart Simpson, our winner is...

Crusher: good ole rock, nothing beats rock!

For showing that even the Utopia Planetia Fleet Yards have to work with bad people sometimes, our winner is:

Toyota is still manufacturing starships even in the 24th Century.

For reminding us that the change in Models used for the Enterprise-D wasn't popular with everyone, our winner is:

Q: "Meh, this looked better when they were using the six-foot model."

For showing us that there are two places in the Galaxy that you are not allowed to pump the gas yourself, (Ten Forward and Oregon) our winner is:

"Ethanol-blend or regular?"

For showing how the 2nd reprimand showed p on Worf's permanent record, our winner is:

After waking up in sickbay a few hours later, the last thing Picard remembered was saying to Worf 'Ayyyyy sit on it nerd!'

Congratulations to all of our winners!

And now, on with the show!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: How can we get Banned from Sickbay?

Yar: I've got to keep stretching if I want to beat Data in the gymnastics competition.

Picard: What happened?

Yar: The Ferengi tried to flash us. Luckily I overloaded the viewscreen just in time.

Picard: For the last time, I only called Admiral Dumas "Admiral Dumbas" by mistake.

First Officers Log, Upon beaming down to the planet, we've finally discovered where all the stench from farts end up.

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Well, so much for that idea."

Riker: "Back to boinking Minuet I guess."

Crosby: "Uh, I'm stuck! Stupid Spandex!"

Picard: "Merde! The Abrams Anomaly!"

Picard: "Great, now I'm an Internet meme."

Riker: "I think the transporter screwed up."

La Forge: "What makes you say that?"

Riker: "We were supposed to beam down to San Francisco. Judging by the smog, I'd say this is Los Angeles."

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION

Directed by JJ abrams

 

[Finn]

Dorn (thinks to himself) "Thank god they are offing Yar next week. They will never catch me in red again".

 

[Subcommander R.]

Riker: Maybe if we stare at it long enough it will open?

Picard: Shut up Number One.

Yar's Yoga class and short legs had easily prepared her for the USS Enterprise' annual 'sit and reach' contest.

Worf: Does this lens flare make my head look big?

Picard: I'm so tired of reacting to your failures. Can't you just find a different picture to use internet?

An unfortunate transporter accident had the away team beamed directly into the perfume aisle at the department store. There were no survivors.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Picard: "Great, now I'm an Internet meme."

arrrgh, ya stole mine!

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: "Wesley, I'm not mad at you, you can come out of the turbo-toilet now."

Yar: "There's a ship coming out of the temporal anomaly."

Data: "Communications on screen."

Riker: "It's Captain Robau !!!!"

Picard: "My God, look at how awesome He is,"

We now return to The Measure Of A Man.

Data: "So then your honor, Lt Yar requested that I place my penis in her ..."

 

[LeadHead]

Yar: "There's a ship coming out of the temporal anomaly."

Data: "Communications on screen."

Riker: "It's Captain Robau !!!!"

Picard: "My God, look at how awesome He is,"

Worf: Not exactly Sir. The USS Kelvin isn't out there, just him.

Picard: Ooooooo not so smart.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard, icily: Did I forget to mention, Number One, that opening doors for the captain is customarily the duty of the First Officer?

Picard: Now don't forget, Will, when the doors open, we must shout in UNISON:
Both: "Who's been holding up the damn elevator?!"
Picard: Excellent.

Worf: I wonder what this doe--
It was a good day to die.

Sometimes, not even a round of "Frere Jacques" got Picard through "Captain Picard Day".

Riker: CHIEF O'BRIAN! EMERGENCY TRANSPORT!
Despite the fact that Redjac was beamed into deep space, Riker always panicked when beaming into a fog.

 

[T'Girl]

Yar: "There's a ship coming out of the temporal anomaly."

Data: "Communications on screen."

Riker: "It's Captain Robau !!!!"

Picard: "My God, look at how awesome He is,"

Worf: Not exactly Sir. The USS Kelvin isn't out there, just him.

Riker: "Yet something is keeping him alive."

Troi: "I sense it's .. it's ... it's his badassness."

 

[LeadHead]

Yar: "There's a ship coming out of the temporal anomaly."

Data: "Communications on screen."

Riker: "It's Captain Robau !!!!"

Picard: "My God, look at how awesome He is,"

Worf: Not exactly Sir. The USS Kelvin isn't out there, just him.

Riker: "Yet something is keeping him alive."

Worf: Not for long, only room for one Badass around here. Photon Torpedoes Away Captain.

Picard: Thank you Lieutenant. Why don't we make you security chief?

Yar: Hey, Standing right here!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Open. Open. Open.
Riker: Maybe if we made the hiss sound instead....

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Riker: "What's taking the turbolift so long?"

Picard: "Captain Scott just got in the next elevator car."

...

...

Riker: "Shall we just walk instead?"

and in this blooper from Code of Honor, Denise Crosby forgets about the warm-up and starts looking for what's left of her dignity...

Picard: "Open a hailing frequency, Lieutenant."

Yar: "Aye sir... frequency open."

Picard: "This is Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise to the Commander of the Romulan vessel. Turn your fucking highbeams off. End transmission."

Picard: "A great man once said... that when the first link is forged... um... when the first liberty sacrificed..."

Satie: "That speech of yours would be more impressive if you didn't have crib notes on the palm of your hand."

Riker: "You and your fucking prune juice."

Worf: "Sorry."

 

[Gul Re'jal]

Picard: "Open Sesame!"

 

[Mistral]

Picard : "Well, this is embarrassing."

Riker: "Yes, sir! I expected the door to open,too!"

Picard: "Fortunately, we're wearing red shirts so the blood should hardly show."

Riker: "True, but we're wearing black pants and I think you broke your-"

Picard : "Yes, yes! I'll just tug my shirt down lower to cover it up."

 

[Mistral]

Worf: Not exactly Sir. The USS Kelvin isn't out there, just him.

Riker: "Yet something is keeping him alive."

Worf: Not for long, only room for one Badass around here. Photon Torpedoes Away Captain.

Picard: Thank you Lieutenant. Why don't we make you security chief?

Yar: Hey, Standing right here!

Picard: "Oh, yes, of course. Tasha, I need you to go down to the planet and save Counselor Troi."

Worf: "Heh, heh..."

 

[Mistral]

Picard: "Will, there's an alien shape-shifter posing as a door and it's blocking my way!"

Riker: "Uh, sir, that is a door. Were you paying any attention at the Academy when they went over these things?"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Tasha loved her foot very very much.

<insert now standard lens flare joke>

 

[Captain Crow]

Wesley, singing: Blinded by the light.

Everyone else: Shut up Wesley.