TNG Caption This #158 - "Superior Asshole"

[cooleddie74]

GEORDI:"The gentleman says the call is coming from INSIDE THE ANDROID!!!!!!"

PICARD:"Red Alert!!!"

 

[jep]

LaForge: "Apparently we're being sued by something called the 'RIAA', because Lt. Tin Man here has downloaded the collected works of someone named 'Kanye West'."

Picard: "Do you have anything to say, Mr. Data?"

Data: "True dat, bitch."

 

[Triskelion]

I dropped my tea, Earl Grey, hot!

Geordi: One Counselor Troi birthday cake, please. Do you guys want coconut?
Picard: NO! NO COCONUT!

 

[jep]

Data, thinking to himself: "That bitch better not be making a long distance call."

 

[jep]

LaForge: "That's right, two hundred cases of Rogaine, billed to Captain Jean Luc Picard."

 

[SciFi75]

Picard: "This is the last time Wesley sleeps beneath my desk!"

 

[SciFi75]

Geordi: "Hello? Is this Doctor Soong? Yes, our android isn't working. Well, yes, I did press 1 but all I got was Spanish. Oh, okay."

Picard: "What is wrong?"

Geordi: "I'm on hold."

Picard: "Advanced tech support my bald ass."

 

[jep]

LaForge: "WTF does 'Insert $5000 for the next 5 minutes' mean?"

 

[jep]

Picard: "Say, Data, you wouldn't happen to have a bacon sandwich in there, would you?"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Picard: *sniff* *sniff* *sniff*. "MR. DATA! I think its time to change that litterbox!!!!"

La Forge: "Yes, i'd like to order a large cheese pizza with extra pepperoni"

Data: "NOOOOOO MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! NO PEPPERONI!!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PEPPERONI? What did i say about fucking pepperoni????"

Picard: "Mr. Data, i think now would be a good time to deactivate your emotion chip."

Data: "Yes sir. Thank you sir."

Picard: "Mr. *gasp* Riker! *gasp"

Riker (off-screen): "Yes sir?"

Picard: *gasp* when i said ...*gasp* i needed a little time to decompresss, it was NOT an order *gasp* to have all the oxygen *gasp* sucked out of my ready room!"

Riker (to himself): "oh shit....."

 

[Nerys Myk]

With Lwaxana Troi on board, Picard attempts to blend in with the furniture.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard to Riker. Please instruct Mr Data to delete his "Drama Queen" subroutine.

 

[T'Boggan]

Three days....Three days Ive been bent over like this! and no one has even thought to ask why!

Caller: Hello Geordi...whats your favourite scary movie?
Picard: Clear that line, its for trunk calls only!

 

[JB2005]

Geordi: No, there's no Gene Luck Pickerd here...
Picard (Thinking) : Oh god, this is where they find out...

 

[Nerys Myk]

MAX: Would you believe the 25th Century?

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Voice on Phone: "Hello, is Homer there?"
Geordi: "Homer who?"
Voice on Phone: "Homer... Sexual."
Geordi: "Wait one second, let me check. (calls) Uh, Homer Sexual? Hey, come on, come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!"
Picard & Data: "Don't look at me!"

 

[Triskelion]

Geordi: ...something about the '73 Picard pinot noir mutating their DNA?
Picard: HANG UP!!!

Sometimes the captain liked to reenact Wolf 359 using office supplies.

 

[jep]

LaForge: "I told you it was a bad idea, Captain. Now we're being sued by AT&T for illegally jail-breaking Data."

 

[TigerOfDarkness]

After dropping his cup on the floor, Picard looked up to see himself lying on a bed, then he reached up and saw a large, black monolith at the foot of the bed...

 

[jep]

Picard hurries to locate his sand castle tools.