TNG Caption This #158 - "Superior Asshole"

[Triskelion]

So, Mrs Troi...what are you wearing?

When was the last time someone cleaned up under here...hey, my nudie pen! I wondered what happened to that. "Captain to brig, you can release Wesley Crusher."

 

[NathanielM]

--A Prank call to Starfleet HQ on a Saturday night --

Geordi: First, I will unbutton your unform blouse inch by inch with my teech, slowly nibbling your neck as I caress your breasts, Slowly removing your shirt I slide my hand under your bra strap, moving it down and planting kisses on your sexy chest.... Moving my hands down your abdomen to your thighs. My black hair rustling as I lick you all over.

Female Admiral at Starfleet headquarters: Who the hell is this?

Data and Picard <snickering quietly>

Geordi: This is Wesley "Big daddy" Crusher i am so hard and hot for you... Do me so hard you hot big hootered Admiral!

<Data and Picard choke down a laugh>

This is what happened one Saturday night aboard enterprise when Picard splurged and got shitfaced off duty.

 

[Tom Riley]

Picard: I told her we should have just stayed on the couch, but NO it's more "kinky" on the desk...

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "I know I shouldn't have thrown this shit at her, but she shouldn't say 'croissant' like a douchebag around me ..."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Geordi: Why yes my android is running? What's that? I better what?

 

[cooleddie74]

GEORDI:"We really need to upgrade to digital, sir. This is getting just plain STUPID..."

 

[cooleddie74]

LAMEST game of hide-and-seek ever held on any Starfleet vessel.

 

[jep]

Picard learns that it isn't wise to call Q the bastard son of Trelane.

 

[Rat Boy]

Geordi: "It's your ass; it's telling you to lay off the burritos."

 

[Captain Crow]

Geordi: I don't know Ihydmee Solomee and Ishiite Medrawrs.

Geordi: Okay I'll ask. Has anyone seen a Lin P. Newdel? No? How about a Willy Stukenzazz?

 

[Drob]

Data hopes nobody has to make a late night booty call.

 

[Triskelion]

Geordi: Why yes I do have time to take a forty minute survey about my replicator habits.

Dammit I'm the captain and if I want a choo choo in my ready room I should have one! <sob>

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Gordi: "No she can't come to the phone she's got my dick in her Mouth!"
(Hangs up)
Gordi: "Boy I love wrong Numbers"

 

[Daneel]

GEORDI: "No, dammit, Jenny isn't here, now stop calling us!" >Hangs up the phone< "Data, you really shouldn't have let the phone company assign 867-5309 as your number."

 

[SilentP]

The situation was grim, and the Enterprise crew had no alternative but to call for help. With great reluctance, Picard ordered Geordi to use the Dataphone to call the one and only...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

LaForge: Yes?
Troi (on the other end): I'd like my banana hairclip back, Geordi.

 

[Triskelion]

Geordi: Sarah, get me Mott down t' the barber shop. Wesley's run away.
Picard: Golly!
Data: If I could feel I would hate you both.

Number One, get Dr Crusher in here. Tell her I've got the shistering blits again. She'll know what it means.

 

[Shatmandu]

LaForge: "Toby? No one here by that name, fucker."

Picard: "Mr. Worf, find out who advertised a party in my Ready Room on Craig's List, please."

 

[Rat Boy]

Worf: "Sir, someone upperdecked your toilet, too."

Picard: "Fuck!"

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"Bloody hell.

Last time I let Geordi drop by the ready room WITHOUT his VISOR."