TNG Caption This #158 - "Superior Asshole"

[cultcross]

Contest #157 is all finished, and it's time for [highlight]THE WINNERS!!![/highlight]

For the first image in this contest,

O'Brien: "Wesley as a superior officer? What's next- a Ferengi?

And for the second,

Meet the Positronic Pimp's ancestor: the Positronic Owner of the House of Ill-Repute.

Photoshop winner is our latest repeat champion,

Man-Candy: "Um, Chief, my eyes are up here."

well done everybody!

This contest features stills from the Starfleet emergency procedures manual. Stay indoors, find somewhere to shelter, and phone the emergency hotline.

 

[NathanielM]

[

Picard: Goddamn it I broke my favorite cup and that was my last bit of Earl Grey! WHY!!! WHYY!!!!!! <sobbing>

Phone: Starfleet emergency hotline, All operators are budy please hold the line.

Picard swears and hands Geordi the phone

Geordi: Help us please!

Phone: I said all operators are busy, Please hold the line...

Data: I think we are screwed Captain.

 

[NathanielM]

Starfleet 9-1-1

A time when Wesley should NEVER be allowed to prank and heavy breathe on the phone.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

And by the time Picard finally realized where the distress call really eminated from, all that was left of Data was a few stacks of computer chips and shards of plastic. The monster under the conference table had struck again.

"This is the police, Mr. La Forge! You and Captain Picard are in grave danger! Get out of the house now, the killer is the and...BZZZZZZZZ"

Data: "Apologies, Geordi, the line appears to have gone dead".

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard demonstrates how got up through the ranks of Starfleet to command the Enterprise by being on all fours under the Vice Admirals desk.

Picard: EVERYBODY DUCK AND COVER! TROI'S "FRIEND THAT COMES EVERY 28 DAYS" HAS COME TO VISIT!

Voice on phone: The calls are coming from inside Data!

Geordi: No shit Sherlock! Now what the hell do you want?

Geordi: Sorry I'm busy dealing with Baldy McDoucheBag and Zippy the Babbling Trash Can. I'll call you back later.

Geordi: But I don't want to change my long distance service to AT&T.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

offscreen: "I'm going to do it Dougal, I'm going to kick Captain Picard up the arse."

Geordi: "Yes... yes... I'll check... Is there a Mike Hunt in Ten-Forward? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Anyone..?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Geordi: "Hey Data -- you sense of humor called -- it wants it's emotion chip back."

 

[Triskelion]

Captain to bridge: Deanna, either divert more power to intertial dampeners or let the boy drive.

Geordi: It's the Romulans. Some guy named Shinzon wants a job reference?
Picard: Just hang up. I'm expecting a call from an Ensign I met last night in Ten Forward.
Data: I've asked you both numerous times to stop giving out this number.

 

[mackula]

Geordi never, ever lets me answer my own phone!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Geordi: "Who is this? No, I wouldn't be interested in changing my subspace service provider to Ferengi Communications. Look, last tiem yo usaid you removed me from your database list. Get it right this time!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "Ugh. Why is Worf clipping his toenails in my Ready-Room?"

La Forge: "It's Data's butt. Wants to report a burglary."

 

[Rat Boy]

It only then occurred to Picard to have Troi bend over and find his contact lens.

Geordi: "Some guy's asking if he can get a holla."

 

[Gertch]

"Damn, I've broken my little ships."

 

[cooleddie74]

Jean-Luc could never quite master the concept of the bookend or paperweight.

GEORDI:"Really? You don't say.

You DON'T SAY.

You DON'T SAY!"

PICARD:"What are they trying to communicate to us, Commander?"

GEORDI:"They didn't say!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"E-Books are easier to manage MY ASS."

 

[Rat Boy]

Geordi: "I'm getting bad reception. Data, would you mind standing on one leg?"

 

[jep]

Geordi: "Why yes, my warp reactor IS running. Why do you ask?"

Picard: "<Sigh>... Geordi... you're being punk'd."

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: If I hide under here long enough that dreadful thing will go away!

 

[Mistral]

"...and the android will have an extra-large with extra lubricant and self-sealing stembolts. Now, how long until your driver gets here? What? Oh, about five light-years past Alpha C."

"!@&^#"

"What do you mean we're outside your area?!?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: We gotta get a maid!