TNG Caption This #141 - "Lock n Load"

[cultcross]

That's it for another contest, folks, bit late switching them this time as I was away from all post-1950 technology from a week (otherwise known as Somerset).
Some great captions last time, the winner for the first image slipped in on the penultimate page and made me

PICARD: How the hell do you rig these things to overload?

The second image seemed to spark fewer ideas but still some gems, I giggled particularly at this one:

PICARD: I'm so drunk, I'm starting to see shapes on the walls.
GUINAN: Yea. Squares.
PICARD: No. Dodecahedrons.

Photoshop winner to:

Data: It appears to be a 20th century prank gun, a device used for practical jokes, gags, shenanigans, humorous deceptio....
Picard: Thats enough Data.

New images for #141 are as follows:

 

[Triskelion]

What happened to my career!?

Dr Soong's last laugh: droid roids.

 

[John Picard]

Data's newest attempt at mimicking human behavior which Commander Riker called, "Pinching a loaf".

 

[Rat Boy]

Jameson: "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

Data: "I have just discovered my pooping program."

 

[scottydog]

Data missed his friends Spanky and Alfalfa.

 

[scottydog]

Data: "Sir, I believe this infant desires your breast milk."

Picard: "Not possible, Data. Vash has sucked me dry."

 

[Shatmandu]

TOS Fan, interrupting filming: "I GROCK SPOCK! KIRK FOREVER, PICARD NEVER!! <pulls cord on vest, explodes>"

Data: "I may not be able to say contractions, but my simulated anus sure can have them after eating too much chili ..."

 

[Captain Leslie]

Picard " Well you shouldnt have put it up there in the first place! Just keep still whilst I...."

" pffffffrrrppppppppppttt! Oh damn that cheap lubricant!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Commence the buggering, Mr. Data."

Data: "Aye sir."

Jameson: "Noooooooooooooooooooooo!"

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Data, run a diagnosis of your tactile feedback.
Data: Yes sir. There was a minor glitch which I have corrected.
Ensign John Davidson: My pineal gland!

Dr Crusher: Data, stop watching those hooligans playing stickball, and get back to your arpeggios!

 

[cooleddie74]

"WHY'D THEY CANCEL ENTERPRISE...

WHYYYYY?!?!?!?"

"Pardon me, sir...do...do you have a roll of paper I can borrow?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

At the 2008 Las Vegas Star Trek convention...

Rabid Trek fan in costume: I can't believe it! Simon Pegg's hair doesn't match Jimmy Doohan's. Abrams' Trek is raping my childhood!

Data: Perhaps now was the wrong time to try out my new bowl movement program.

-or-

Data: Number One, I've just made number two.

 

[Hedbergian]

"He used to be the captain of a starship, but now he's a heroin addict."
-- Lewis Black

 

[Gertch]

"No-no! I can't go back to the TNZ forum. Please don't make me, please."

Data experiences jealousy for the first time when Spot rubs against the refrigerator.

 

[nx1701g]

Admiral: THAT MAN STOLE MY JUICE WAAAAHHHHHH!

I'm going commando today.

 

[saxarocks]

After hearing rumors from his fellow crew members about a secret weapon sometimes used by humans, Data did an experiment to find out if a fart could truly be silent but deadly... 30 seconds later

Picard: Data, the use of the SBD attack has been forbidden since the end of the Romulan wars. It is written into the Treaty of Algeron. Look at him- He's Suffocating.

 

[Kirby]

This time, Colonel Jack O'Neill never made it back through the Stargate.

Never get into a breath holding contest with Data.

 

[Rat Boy]

Look who just found out that his wireless plan doesn't cover international roaming.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"What happened here Data?"
"He had his back crack and sac waxed."

"Mmmph, I just sat on meself."

 

[Hedbergian]

DATA: Where's my money?! WHERE'S MY F%#^@)G MONEY!?!?!