Re: Thread for The Calling, David Mack's first original novel (it's ou
Why can't a man and a woman just be friends?
In my experience -- and I am a young man, so that may well be coloring my view of things, but -- it is possible for a (heterosexual or bisexual) man and woman to
just be friends, but, unless one party is markedly older than the other, it takes a certain level of trust and maturity on both parts. Not that they can't be friends without that level of trust and maturity, but in my experience, there's usually an unspoken subtext to those friendships.
That's not to say that it's a subtext that's seriously pursued, or that's ever allowed to develop. Or even that it's a subtext either or both friends want. It's just that, frankly, there's always the unspoken knowledge in both friends' minds that the other is a potential sexual partner, and that plays into every other aspect of the friendship even if it doesn't dominate it.
For the friends to move past that, it takes a certain level of honesty and trust. Ironically, the heterosexual or bisexual male/female friendships I've seen that most successfully avert any unwanted subtext have been friendships forged between some former lovers: They've already been there, decided it's not for them, and moved on with their lives, so there's nothing
left to be unspoken.
I just take it as a fact of life and move on. It doesn't inhibit a friendship, and it doesn't necessarily dominate a friendship, and it doesn't need to be acknowledged or acted upon, but the potential for a sexual relationship is almost always one that exists between people of compatible ages and sexes.