So, I've mention in other threads that I'm a bit of an amateur writer, well I do want to get published at some point, for now I would just like some input.
These are two chapters from a current novel I have been working on since highschool, more as of late though. I would like to try getting published sooner than later. Already have the story, but been editing it for a year now as video games and work tends to get in my way as well as my lack of concentration.
The story is a mixture of science fiction and religion. Directed at young adults and above.
Summary:
First chapter is an action chapter, about 1/3 of the way into the story from the point of view of a blind character named Hope.
Seems I am limited to only 250,000 characters, well I'll wait to see if any interest and post the second chapter after.
These are two chapters from a current novel I have been working on since highschool, more as of late though. I would like to try getting published sooner than later. Already have the story, but been editing it for a year now as video games and work tends to get in my way as well as my lack of concentration.
The story is a mixture of science fiction and religion. Directed at young adults and above.
Summary:
Naomi Kalani is the main character for this story, born and raised in Hawaii mainly by her grandmother due to her parents deaths. Before entering her second year of high school she receives a call from her Uncle in the States. Her Uncle would like her to live in the states and to bring his mother back so that she can spend her last few years in the company of family.
But her Uncle motives are not that clear as many ulterior motives lead to her coming to the States. Years prior her Uncle and Mother and a few others trained under a ruthless woman who’s simply know as The Mistress. What kind of training? Harmony—soul energy, to control this and form Instruments—weapons. To do battle against Husks’, the physical manifestation of guilt after someone dies.
Sadly, Uncle Mike’s plan goes astray due to his daughter Fate who, knowing she will take over the elderly Mistress’s position at the funeral home unknowingly leads Naomi down a path which she can’t return from.
But her Uncle motives are not that clear as many ulterior motives lead to her coming to the States. Years prior her Uncle and Mother and a few others trained under a ruthless woman who’s simply know as The Mistress. What kind of training? Harmony—soul energy, to control this and form Instruments—weapons. To do battle against Husks’, the physical manifestation of guilt after someone dies.
Sadly, Uncle Mike’s plan goes astray due to his daughter Fate who, knowing she will take over the elderly Mistress’s position at the funeral home unknowingly leads Naomi down a path which she can’t return from.
First chapter is an action chapter, about 1/3 of the way into the story from the point of view of a blind character named Hope.
Hope
Her steps are what I notice first, heavy but soft. I can tell Naomi is getting tired of holding the ghost…they shouldn’t have no weight, but her perception is telling her otherwise. Because she’s holding a child, she believes she carries its weight. At least this is how I understand that.
“He never took his eyes off of me…” I’ve failed to notice she has already started a conversation with the others. I’m too distracted with my sight, I’m not used to seeing souls like this, yet that’s the only answer I have. The Mistresses demonstration a few nights ago, about seeing the Third Eyes allowed me to heighten my senses to see them. Attempting to see the Third Eye since that day has proved fruitful as I’m able to clearly see Naomi’s figure as if she were displaying herself, something feels unaware coming from her, an uneasiness if I where to guess that envelopes her in pink flames—those same flames coating Ronald. I’m seeing their Harmony, their soul.
My sights drifting from Tom to my sister, neither of whom I see quite as clear as Naomi and the kid. My sisters is dim, hardly anything there for me to see. Tom’s is nonexistent, he remains gray.
“Would he even know you’re holding his son?” Tom asks and Fate answers interrupting Naomi who I thought would say something.
“Doubtful, it’s more like intuition, or instinct, he thinks something is there rather then it really being there, but in this case, she does have his son.”
“Hate to say it but you may have a point.” Tom answers with a bit of spite.
Naomi chuckles nervously to their banter, only to add, “it felt creepy.” And I don’t blame her, I think the same thing. Mr. Westly has been here every evening since we first saw him. Always sitting at the bench, and smelling of alcohol and cigarettes.
Everyone is quiet again, we’re close to the courtyard as another flame catches my vision, this one of Scarlet who with a joyous squeal rushes over to us and places all her attention on Ronald. “Mind if I watch him during your practice?”
Ronald stirs by the commotion, finally awakening and speaks but softly, “Where’s papa?”
“The pissed off…” I glare in Tom’s direction and his voice cuts out, with a sigh, “no idea kid.”
“Well why don’t you let aunty Scarlet show you around, maybe we can find him.” My gaze switches to her, and she doesn’t hesitate to have Ronald passed to her, he wanted to, reaching for Scarlet while Naomi let him leave her arms.
“You’re staying with us.”
Her voice is dry and cold as she speaks with Scarlet and glares at Naomi. Her steps begin again as with Tom’s and they slowly fade into muffled sounds of grass. Raining earlier today I was not expecting a practice but the Mistress wanted us to meet, and so we are.
The fresh air and soft ground puts my past uneasiness aside as I feel right at home here, over numerous years I’ve trained in this courtyard with my Tom and my sister.
“That’s different,” I question my own sight as I see nothing, and by that, I use to see the Mistress as I see Tom currently, a gray figure in this gray world I’m so use to. The Mistress is different, nothing there, she blends in with the dull colors but her cane taps the soft dirt and I since her impatient. We’ve spent too much time talking before getting here, we must hurry. Grabbing Naomi’s arm, we take our positions in line while Scarlet follows closely behind. Her stance changes, the Mistress is leaning on her left leg more, she has her eyes on Scarlet, I can tell because Scarlet’s figure hesitates as she passes her to wait behind us. Yet the Mistress says nothing to her.
Shifting her footing, she walks forward, then in front of us like a drill Sargent. “Core of today’s training,” Her cane presses into the soft dirt as she passes me, “is to see the Harmony of those who inherited their Instruments. Hope, Naomi. Take your places.”
Doing as we’re told, Naomi is still but I give her a kind look to not fret. Parting from the line I’m ready before her. Her slowed pace quickens and she stops in front of me. Waiting, the Mistress tells us to Harmonize. Mine is a simple frilly maid outfit with a short skirt dropping to my knees, and two garter belts around my thighs where I draw Yuki from. Mary Jane shoes and white socks which stops mid-calf and a white bonnet to match. I don’t understand my sister’s dislike of our outfits, I think they’re cute.
Through diving I’ve gotten to see how we look, and the same goes for Naomi in a difference sense. Though Miia I was able to see her Harmony, how ever brief it was, I know hers by heart. A white blouse with brownish corset and yellow plated skirt. Yellow and brown patterned knee high boots with an off colored brown stockings that stop mid-thigh. Lastly a yellow ribbon around her neck and a brown beret atop her head. She’s quick as she ready herself for the Mistress’s next order.
“Inherited Instruments provide a very unique ability to the wielder. They are inherited by definition, passing on from one generation to the next. That is what you understand. But also, a recollection. Hope and Naomi may not understand this but allow me to elaborating.” She says as if we don’t understand it, but for a long time, I’ve understood just what inherited Harmony was. As if the Mistress knew I already known, she calls me out, “Hope, your movements, your actions, and everything about when you use Yuki…feels familiar. You have never felt lost when using them. You understand what they are capable of?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“And you Naomi,” She starts to ask, her footing changing again, her dominate foot, the right pointing towards Naomi. “Did you feel your mother when you used your instrument against that Husk?” She is slow to respond, as if trying to remember that, that feeling of being one with your soul. The reply is too slow for the Mistress as she adds, “your grandmother?”
“A third generation?” I question as I feel the Mistress smiling, now sure how as I can’t see her but the mood is that of fun, not dread like usual during our practices.
“I did…” she answers quietly.
A cold, and eerie laugh erupts from the Mistress as she points her cane towards us, “I am excited to see this pairing again. Naomi in place of Marisa and Kala. Hope in place of Isabella. When your mothers where here, they were quite a handful, but they loved testing each other...I know I am a cranky old bat, but I enjoyed teaching them as I have you.”
Literal gasps come from Tom and Fate as I giggle a little myself, she’s not all bad has been my thinking all along and this shines a little light on her friendly side.
“Right, you may begin!”
Crouching, readying my hands at my garter belts I display a grin for Naomi, “Let’s have a good fight.”
“Oh…okay.” It’s a weaker response than I would of wanted but maybe she is nervous as this would be her first real fight with any one of us. If that were the case I’d be able to tell I would think, but as I watch her flaming figure I see nothing but confidence as two pink flames spread from either hand, she’s drawn her instrument. Two rifles take shape before the flames dissipate.
Closing my eyes as I’m more comfortable fighting without them, trusting my hearing as that’s how I trained myself. Muffled yet still audible, I hear her taking steps to my right, semicircling around me, stopping and placing one of her rifles to my temple. “Beginning slow I see.” I smile, a slight giggle to at my bad joke.
My movements swift as I bring my arms forward, four Yuki in each hand, side stepping to my left, both of us are in a standoff which I have already taken the lead for she allowed me to move out of her way. Predictable because of her inexperience.
Her rifle fires as my eyes fly open and watch as she ditches the instrument in her right hand, it fades away and I’m stunned by the suddenness of her shot, I was being way to cocky. With my ears ringing I sidestep her, positioning myself further away and watching as she approaches. Unlike my sisters, Naomi’s aura right now is of joy and fun, even so, I need to watch myself, I didn’t realize those rifles sound real. I hardly know her, yet, how she is acting right now is out of place from what I’m use to. Are Grandma Kala and Aunt Marisa resonating within her instrument as my mother is within Yuki?
The ringing of my ears prevent me from listing and I’m forced to watch Naomi’s figure. I release my right hand, firing Yuki her way. Metal on metal sounds as I watch them get deflected and vanish to nothingness before hitting the ground. Deflecting them with her rifle I take a few steps back, and now she’s pointing the rifle in her left hand towards my forehead. I’m not making the same mistake again as I jump backwards, tossing my other hand at her, Yuki making contact this time. But with our Harmony the damage is minimal if any. The stronger an attack, the more potential there is to hurt our opponent, and I’ve found that perfect balance.
Her rifle is tossed aside but she’s lost her footing from my previous attack, falling forward she corrects herself. Her hand touching the moist ground first before she rolls, using her other arm to push herself off the ground so to kneel. At the same time, she spawns her instruments again—seems she only has a single shot with each, that’s good to know. Her arm outstretched, I’m staring down the barrel as my eyes stop ringing. My eyes close as another shot rings out.
An easy dodge, allowing myself to spin on my heel. But I’m hesitant, opening my eyes, relying on my sight, I toss Yuki her way. In that short amount of time, I didn’t even notice she is no longer where I threw them. Yuki vanishing as I jump further back. “Concentrate,” I tell myself, closing my eyes and listening, the ringing all but dull now, I try to use my ears as best I can. Much like a dog’s sense of smell, my ears are super sensitive. Both my advantage and disadvantage. She knows my handicap…
Turning my head to my right, she’s next to me, her rifle pointing at my head.
“Dodge it!” I hear my sister yell. This is a scrimmage, but even in these we’ve been seriously injured before. Fate and I have both got broken bones from being hit by Tom when we were younger.
I thought I had my hearing back as I serge my momentum, moving easily to dodge, but the ringing in my ears is back as I do a front flip, and bring my hands down, I feel her rifle hitting my shins. Deadlocking it between them, I rip it from her hand, she can’t fire again because it’s a single shot, but I already see her drawing a second rifle in her right.
Leaping with my hands like an acrobat, I am back on my feet, during which time I tossed the rifle into the air. With that gone, I wait once again, she’s putting up a hell of a fight and it’s annoying that I am so disoriented. I’m not use to this.
She never does fire the second rifle; instead she comes at me, elbowing me hard in the stomach and sending me sliding back. Stunned, I hear the cocking of her rifle and haphazardly I dodge and stumble to the ground, tripping over my own legs.
“Hope! What is with you, why are you so out of it?” I hear Tom yell, and it’s surprising, he’s normally concerned with himself.
The Mistress clears her throat. “I’m not surprised by her being timid towards Naomi, although she’s great; having now met someone who can throw her off her toes is new. She’s overcoming this, she needs to too become stronger and just by fighting you and Fate, she’s so use to you guys it’s not even a scrimmage anymore. This is perfect so stay quiet and both of you, no more helping her.”
“Focus!” My sister yells as she’s hit by the Mistress cane. And I try to focus...my eyes shut, I note that Naomi is distracted, I pull out Yuki from my garter belts and run as quietly as I can to the opposite side of her while she is paying attention to the Mistresses comments. But with the Mistress done I feel her stances change. She’s noticed that I am gone from where I was. Now behind her I let both hands loose and I go for more knifes. All together I let loose a volley of sixteen knifes her way.
She raises the rifle at me and shoots, scattering them around her and I drop to the ground, lowering myself so that the bullet flies over head. Naomi’s aim is remarkable, each time she’s been aiming at my face. I can’t hear again but I am getting better at detecting her. Running behind her, she turns to face me and the woods we’ve slowly found our way into.
“We seem to be tied,” she comments, acting overly confident. She seems to be shy and sheepish but when in the mood, she goes all out…she’s a strange one.
Making no remark of my own and concentrating I begin throwing volley after volley her way, they vanish a foot out from me, then reappear, making a dome of knives around her. But her stances doesn’t change, she isn’t shaken by them at all…quite the opposite. I’m shaken by the presents I feel, her rifles, they are all around me just as my knives are around her. When did she do that…how did she hide their presents from me?
My eyes opening I look, yet I can’t detect them, only Naomi who stands before my knifes. Shutting my eyes tight, what sounds like a spring releasing and I hear a gasp from the others, as they have followed us into the woods, not sure where to place them but I even hear the word bayonet escape Tom’s mouth. Striking first I release the hold on my knives around Naomi and she does the same a millisecond later, her rifles fire first then flying where I stood previously as I jump forward, inching myself closer to her only to be tripped by something. Standing, my sister shouts to me, “Concentrate!” I then hear flesh on flesh, she’s been slapped by the Mistress, a very rare punishment.
Fate is right, I need to concentrate, and I do, with the help of the wind and the time between her last few rifles shots I can hear more or less, and I hear subtle vibrations around me. It doesn’t take me too long to realize just what is happening. Naomi, using the trees, she’s called forth a different instrument that we hadn’t realized that she had. She used the trees to make a spider web and I’m caught in the middle of it. I try to move, understand my situation but Naomi speaks up.
“The ribbon is wrapped around the triggers of my rifles. Try to move and you will be shot.”
“Finish her,” I hear Tom chuckles.
The Mistress ignores the comment and advances on us where we stand beneath the foliage from the trees, “You two both did well, but a second Instrument is unheard of...” She addresses Naomi a bit stunned as are we all. “That was quite a show, your movements are your own but your handling is like Marisa. And Hope,” she turns on me and I feel the ribbons around me vanish “Looks like she won this match. You did well too for a first time against her. But remember Marisa was one of my best students and she’s her daughter.” Her stance shifts as she walks away, “Tonight’s training is over for you two, go take your position. Fate and Tom, you two are next.”
Sighing my relief, I’m glad it’s over, but I learned some valuable lessons, I can’t rely on my hearing as I have been. Naomi’s glowing form takes up my sight and her hand reaches out for me, “need a hand?” she asks.
Her steps are what I notice first, heavy but soft. I can tell Naomi is getting tired of holding the ghost…they shouldn’t have no weight, but her perception is telling her otherwise. Because she’s holding a child, she believes she carries its weight. At least this is how I understand that.
“He never took his eyes off of me…” I’ve failed to notice she has already started a conversation with the others. I’m too distracted with my sight, I’m not used to seeing souls like this, yet that’s the only answer I have. The Mistresses demonstration a few nights ago, about seeing the Third Eyes allowed me to heighten my senses to see them. Attempting to see the Third Eye since that day has proved fruitful as I’m able to clearly see Naomi’s figure as if she were displaying herself, something feels unaware coming from her, an uneasiness if I where to guess that envelopes her in pink flames—those same flames coating Ronald. I’m seeing their Harmony, their soul.
My sights drifting from Tom to my sister, neither of whom I see quite as clear as Naomi and the kid. My sisters is dim, hardly anything there for me to see. Tom’s is nonexistent, he remains gray.
“Would he even know you’re holding his son?” Tom asks and Fate answers interrupting Naomi who I thought would say something.
“Doubtful, it’s more like intuition, or instinct, he thinks something is there rather then it really being there, but in this case, she does have his son.”
“Hate to say it but you may have a point.” Tom answers with a bit of spite.
Naomi chuckles nervously to their banter, only to add, “it felt creepy.” And I don’t blame her, I think the same thing. Mr. Westly has been here every evening since we first saw him. Always sitting at the bench, and smelling of alcohol and cigarettes.
Everyone is quiet again, we’re close to the courtyard as another flame catches my vision, this one of Scarlet who with a joyous squeal rushes over to us and places all her attention on Ronald. “Mind if I watch him during your practice?”
Ronald stirs by the commotion, finally awakening and speaks but softly, “Where’s papa?”
“The pissed off…” I glare in Tom’s direction and his voice cuts out, with a sigh, “no idea kid.”
“Well why don’t you let aunty Scarlet show you around, maybe we can find him.” My gaze switches to her, and she doesn’t hesitate to have Ronald passed to her, he wanted to, reaching for Scarlet while Naomi let him leave her arms.
“You’re staying with us.”
Her voice is dry and cold as she speaks with Scarlet and glares at Naomi. Her steps begin again as with Tom’s and they slowly fade into muffled sounds of grass. Raining earlier today I was not expecting a practice but the Mistress wanted us to meet, and so we are.
The fresh air and soft ground puts my past uneasiness aside as I feel right at home here, over numerous years I’ve trained in this courtyard with my Tom and my sister.
“That’s different,” I question my own sight as I see nothing, and by that, I use to see the Mistress as I see Tom currently, a gray figure in this gray world I’m so use to. The Mistress is different, nothing there, she blends in with the dull colors but her cane taps the soft dirt and I since her impatient. We’ve spent too much time talking before getting here, we must hurry. Grabbing Naomi’s arm, we take our positions in line while Scarlet follows closely behind. Her stance changes, the Mistress is leaning on her left leg more, she has her eyes on Scarlet, I can tell because Scarlet’s figure hesitates as she passes her to wait behind us. Yet the Mistress says nothing to her.
Shifting her footing, she walks forward, then in front of us like a drill Sargent. “Core of today’s training,” Her cane presses into the soft dirt as she passes me, “is to see the Harmony of those who inherited their Instruments. Hope, Naomi. Take your places.”
Doing as we’re told, Naomi is still but I give her a kind look to not fret. Parting from the line I’m ready before her. Her slowed pace quickens and she stops in front of me. Waiting, the Mistress tells us to Harmonize. Mine is a simple frilly maid outfit with a short skirt dropping to my knees, and two garter belts around my thighs where I draw Yuki from. Mary Jane shoes and white socks which stops mid-calf and a white bonnet to match. I don’t understand my sister’s dislike of our outfits, I think they’re cute.
Through diving I’ve gotten to see how we look, and the same goes for Naomi in a difference sense. Though Miia I was able to see her Harmony, how ever brief it was, I know hers by heart. A white blouse with brownish corset and yellow plated skirt. Yellow and brown patterned knee high boots with an off colored brown stockings that stop mid-thigh. Lastly a yellow ribbon around her neck and a brown beret atop her head. She’s quick as she ready herself for the Mistress’s next order.
“Inherited Instruments provide a very unique ability to the wielder. They are inherited by definition, passing on from one generation to the next. That is what you understand. But also, a recollection. Hope and Naomi may not understand this but allow me to elaborating.” She says as if we don’t understand it, but for a long time, I’ve understood just what inherited Harmony was. As if the Mistress knew I already known, she calls me out, “Hope, your movements, your actions, and everything about when you use Yuki…feels familiar. You have never felt lost when using them. You understand what they are capable of?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“And you Naomi,” She starts to ask, her footing changing again, her dominate foot, the right pointing towards Naomi. “Did you feel your mother when you used your instrument against that Husk?” She is slow to respond, as if trying to remember that, that feeling of being one with your soul. The reply is too slow for the Mistress as she adds, “your grandmother?”
“A third generation?” I question as I feel the Mistress smiling, now sure how as I can’t see her but the mood is that of fun, not dread like usual during our practices.
“I did…” she answers quietly.
A cold, and eerie laugh erupts from the Mistress as she points her cane towards us, “I am excited to see this pairing again. Naomi in place of Marisa and Kala. Hope in place of Isabella. When your mothers where here, they were quite a handful, but they loved testing each other...I know I am a cranky old bat, but I enjoyed teaching them as I have you.”
Literal gasps come from Tom and Fate as I giggle a little myself, she’s not all bad has been my thinking all along and this shines a little light on her friendly side.
“Right, you may begin!”
Crouching, readying my hands at my garter belts I display a grin for Naomi, “Let’s have a good fight.”
“Oh…okay.” It’s a weaker response than I would of wanted but maybe she is nervous as this would be her first real fight with any one of us. If that were the case I’d be able to tell I would think, but as I watch her flaming figure I see nothing but confidence as two pink flames spread from either hand, she’s drawn her instrument. Two rifles take shape before the flames dissipate.
Closing my eyes as I’m more comfortable fighting without them, trusting my hearing as that’s how I trained myself. Muffled yet still audible, I hear her taking steps to my right, semicircling around me, stopping and placing one of her rifles to my temple. “Beginning slow I see.” I smile, a slight giggle to at my bad joke.
My movements swift as I bring my arms forward, four Yuki in each hand, side stepping to my left, both of us are in a standoff which I have already taken the lead for she allowed me to move out of her way. Predictable because of her inexperience.
Her rifle fires as my eyes fly open and watch as she ditches the instrument in her right hand, it fades away and I’m stunned by the suddenness of her shot, I was being way to cocky. With my ears ringing I sidestep her, positioning myself further away and watching as she approaches. Unlike my sisters, Naomi’s aura right now is of joy and fun, even so, I need to watch myself, I didn’t realize those rifles sound real. I hardly know her, yet, how she is acting right now is out of place from what I’m use to. Are Grandma Kala and Aunt Marisa resonating within her instrument as my mother is within Yuki?
The ringing of my ears prevent me from listing and I’m forced to watch Naomi’s figure. I release my right hand, firing Yuki her way. Metal on metal sounds as I watch them get deflected and vanish to nothingness before hitting the ground. Deflecting them with her rifle I take a few steps back, and now she’s pointing the rifle in her left hand towards my forehead. I’m not making the same mistake again as I jump backwards, tossing my other hand at her, Yuki making contact this time. But with our Harmony the damage is minimal if any. The stronger an attack, the more potential there is to hurt our opponent, and I’ve found that perfect balance.
Her rifle is tossed aside but she’s lost her footing from my previous attack, falling forward she corrects herself. Her hand touching the moist ground first before she rolls, using her other arm to push herself off the ground so to kneel. At the same time, she spawns her instruments again—seems she only has a single shot with each, that’s good to know. Her arm outstretched, I’m staring down the barrel as my eyes stop ringing. My eyes close as another shot rings out.
An easy dodge, allowing myself to spin on my heel. But I’m hesitant, opening my eyes, relying on my sight, I toss Yuki her way. In that short amount of time, I didn’t even notice she is no longer where I threw them. Yuki vanishing as I jump further back. “Concentrate,” I tell myself, closing my eyes and listening, the ringing all but dull now, I try to use my ears as best I can. Much like a dog’s sense of smell, my ears are super sensitive. Both my advantage and disadvantage. She knows my handicap…
Turning my head to my right, she’s next to me, her rifle pointing at my head.
“Dodge it!” I hear my sister yell. This is a scrimmage, but even in these we’ve been seriously injured before. Fate and I have both got broken bones from being hit by Tom when we were younger.
I thought I had my hearing back as I serge my momentum, moving easily to dodge, but the ringing in my ears is back as I do a front flip, and bring my hands down, I feel her rifle hitting my shins. Deadlocking it between them, I rip it from her hand, she can’t fire again because it’s a single shot, but I already see her drawing a second rifle in her right.
Leaping with my hands like an acrobat, I am back on my feet, during which time I tossed the rifle into the air. With that gone, I wait once again, she’s putting up a hell of a fight and it’s annoying that I am so disoriented. I’m not use to this.
She never does fire the second rifle; instead she comes at me, elbowing me hard in the stomach and sending me sliding back. Stunned, I hear the cocking of her rifle and haphazardly I dodge and stumble to the ground, tripping over my own legs.
“Hope! What is with you, why are you so out of it?” I hear Tom yell, and it’s surprising, he’s normally concerned with himself.
The Mistress clears her throat. “I’m not surprised by her being timid towards Naomi, although she’s great; having now met someone who can throw her off her toes is new. She’s overcoming this, she needs to too become stronger and just by fighting you and Fate, she’s so use to you guys it’s not even a scrimmage anymore. This is perfect so stay quiet and both of you, no more helping her.”
“Focus!” My sister yells as she’s hit by the Mistress cane. And I try to focus...my eyes shut, I note that Naomi is distracted, I pull out Yuki from my garter belts and run as quietly as I can to the opposite side of her while she is paying attention to the Mistresses comments. But with the Mistress done I feel her stances change. She’s noticed that I am gone from where I was. Now behind her I let both hands loose and I go for more knifes. All together I let loose a volley of sixteen knifes her way.
She raises the rifle at me and shoots, scattering them around her and I drop to the ground, lowering myself so that the bullet flies over head. Naomi’s aim is remarkable, each time she’s been aiming at my face. I can’t hear again but I am getting better at detecting her. Running behind her, she turns to face me and the woods we’ve slowly found our way into.
“We seem to be tied,” she comments, acting overly confident. She seems to be shy and sheepish but when in the mood, she goes all out…she’s a strange one.
Making no remark of my own and concentrating I begin throwing volley after volley her way, they vanish a foot out from me, then reappear, making a dome of knives around her. But her stances doesn’t change, she isn’t shaken by them at all…quite the opposite. I’m shaken by the presents I feel, her rifles, they are all around me just as my knives are around her. When did she do that…how did she hide their presents from me?
My eyes opening I look, yet I can’t detect them, only Naomi who stands before my knifes. Shutting my eyes tight, what sounds like a spring releasing and I hear a gasp from the others, as they have followed us into the woods, not sure where to place them but I even hear the word bayonet escape Tom’s mouth. Striking first I release the hold on my knives around Naomi and she does the same a millisecond later, her rifles fire first then flying where I stood previously as I jump forward, inching myself closer to her only to be tripped by something. Standing, my sister shouts to me, “Concentrate!” I then hear flesh on flesh, she’s been slapped by the Mistress, a very rare punishment.
Fate is right, I need to concentrate, and I do, with the help of the wind and the time between her last few rifles shots I can hear more or less, and I hear subtle vibrations around me. It doesn’t take me too long to realize just what is happening. Naomi, using the trees, she’s called forth a different instrument that we hadn’t realized that she had. She used the trees to make a spider web and I’m caught in the middle of it. I try to move, understand my situation but Naomi speaks up.
“The ribbon is wrapped around the triggers of my rifles. Try to move and you will be shot.”
“Finish her,” I hear Tom chuckles.
The Mistress ignores the comment and advances on us where we stand beneath the foliage from the trees, “You two both did well, but a second Instrument is unheard of...” She addresses Naomi a bit stunned as are we all. “That was quite a show, your movements are your own but your handling is like Marisa. And Hope,” she turns on me and I feel the ribbons around me vanish “Looks like she won this match. You did well too for a first time against her. But remember Marisa was one of my best students and she’s her daughter.” Her stance shifts as she walks away, “Tonight’s training is over for you two, go take your position. Fate and Tom, you two are next.”
Sighing my relief, I’m glad it’s over, but I learned some valuable lessons, I can’t rely on my hearing as I have been. Naomi’s glowing form takes up my sight and her hand reaches out for me, “need a hand?” she asks.
Seems I am limited to only 250,000 characters, well I'll wait to see if any interest and post the second chapter after.
