things that would never happen on the Enterprise

[Alyssa]

I don't know if this has already been done on here ( probably has ) but i thought it could be fun to come up with things that would never happen on the USS Enterprise!

Spock serenades Uhura

 

[Michael]

A computer wins an argument with Kirk.

 

[sbk1234]

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy sit around a campfire and sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."


Scotty bangs his head on a piece of equipment and knocks himself out.

Kirk tries to hug Spock in front of a bunch of Klingons.


Kirk tries to hug Spock.

 

[Sulu_Love_child]

Things go smoothly for a day with no excitement to report

 

[Classic Fan]

The engines/transporter work with no glitches or bugs.

 

[FalTorPan]

Kirk calls a conference of virtually the entire command staff while the Enterprise stands bow-to-bow with a Borg ship.

 

[Classic Fan]

FalTorPan said:
Kirk calls a conference of virtually the entire command staff while the Enterprise stands bow-to-bow with a Borg ship.

This.....:

Kirk: "Spock, you have the bridge. I'll be (hiding cos im a woosy-pants captain) in my ready room."

 

[DanTheGrey]

None of the female crew are even remotely attractive.
Female crewmembers' uniforms have slacks.
Alcohol is banned on the ship.

 

[Classic Fan]

Kirk talks to one of those automatic handwash devices you get in public loos and asks for; Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.

 

[MANT!]

McCoy "Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor not a lingerie model!!!"
Kirk " Bones, you must, the fate of the Federation depends upon it"!
McCoy "But I feel so silly in this BabyDoll number"!!

 

[LiChiu]

Somebody actually uses the loo.

 

[Vulcanian]

Scotty with a metal Nazis hat and a swasitka on his arm sticking it out yelling "Hail Hilter!"

(photobucket that one! )

 

[Michael]

Vulcanian said:
Scotty with a metal Nazis hat and a swasitka on his arm sticking it out yelling "Hail Hilter!"

(photobucket that one! )

Maybe I'm biased, but I wouldn't really like to see that pic.

And it's awkward that I even know it, but it's "Heil Hitler" not "Hail Hilter". Which is funny, because I know a small town not far from where I live that is called Hilter.

 

[nx1701g]

Captain Kirk doesn't hit on the female yeoman of the week.

 

[LiChiu]

Scotty calling the enterprise a garbage scowl. I think he would throw himself out of an airlock before he did that.

 

[The Old Mixer]

A redshirt whom we've never met before wanders off to investigate something on the planet of the week...to return with a report of a dangerous phenomenon that he successfully avoided.

 

[LiChiu]

The Old Mixer said:
A redshirt whom we've never met before wanders off to investigate something on the planet of the week...to return with a report of a dangerous phenomenon that he successfully avoided.

He/she would have to earn a medal if that happened.

 

[jimbo1973]

lol yep two or three medals

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk starts drinking earl gray tea..

Kirk shaves his head and says "make it so" when he gives a command.

Spock grows a cheezy beard and starts playing trombone.

Mc Coy has a gay teenage son on the bridge as "Acting Ensign."

Kirk and spock turn into gay lovers and triangle with Sulu in a large massive orgy.

 

[Mallory]

The Old Mixer said:
A redshirt whom we've never met before wanders off to investigate something on the planet of the week...to return with a report of a dangerous phenomenon that he successfully avoided.

That was the original script for The Apple, before a prop and special effects error necessitated an on the spot rewrite.