Things that frustrate us all
- Thread starter rhubarbodendron
- Start date
Have you ever met a wine critic?
I have had $200 bottles of wine. I could not understand what made it so much more special than a $20 bottle. I have read that even the most snobbiest of the snobs can be fooled by blind taste tests, so I am inclined to believe it is all bogus. My personal experience is anecdotal, but still!
Nope, never met a wine critic.
I can’t judge how elitist they are, tho, simply because I can’t understand anything they say!
Seriously, the wine talk that I have heard, was absolutely incomprehensible. I don’t know what any of it means...
I can’t judge how elitist they are, tho, simply because I can’t understand anything they say!
Seriously, the wine talk that I have heard, was absolutely incomprehensible. I don’t know what any of it means...
Nope, never met a wine critic.
I can’t judge how elitist they are, tho, simply because I can’t understand anything they say!
Seriously, the wine talk that I have heard, was absolutely incomprehensible. I don’t know what any of it means...
Isn't the point? To try and confuse people to make them buy amore expensive wine.
Watching stupid people do stupid things. Over and over and over again. Case-in-point (this time):
A man comes to the library. There's a separate room of computers for the public to normally use, but it's closed off for a special class to teaches locals something. Yes, the doors shut and sign on it explaining that and not to come in. So, what is the logical course of action for an idiot who I saw LOOK AT THE SIGN? Why, open the doors and help himself in.
After being told what was going on, he left and came back out and closed the door (at least he had the presence of mind to do that). He made his way to a computer and sat down at one that was in-use by a patron who had walked off and locked the computer so nobody else could use it. He fiddles around with it even though the screen told him what was what and he couldn't get in.
So then he gets up and makes his way to special niche rooms for studying. On the doors are notes that you have to sign in at the front desk unless you already made an appointment. So, the logical course of action for an idiot is to NOT read that sign and just help himself in where he not only got lucky and nobody saw him enter, but nobody came to use the room. When you're that stupid, you don't deserve lucky breaks like that.
A man comes to the library. There's a separate room of computers for the public to normally use, but it's closed off for a special class to teaches locals something. Yes, the doors shut and sign on it explaining that and not to come in. So, what is the logical course of action for an idiot who I saw LOOK AT THE SIGN? Why, open the doors and help himself in.
After being told what was going on, he left and came back out and closed the door (at least he had the presence of mind to do that). He made his way to a computer and sat down at one that was in-use by a patron who had walked off and locked the computer so nobody else could use it. He fiddles around with it even though the screen told him what was what and he couldn't get in.
So then he gets up and makes his way to special niche rooms for studying. On the doors are notes that you have to sign in at the front desk unless you already made an appointment. So, the logical course of action for an idiot is to NOT read that sign and just help himself in where he not only got lucky and nobody saw him enter, but nobody came to use the room. When you're that stupid, you don't deserve lucky breaks like that.
Food Critics seem to be an easy target even though it's completely unwarranted. Sure, there's no accounting for taste. But the ironic thing is, unlike one's "taste" in music/film/whatever, your actual sense of taste is malleable and very easy to manipulate. This is why, for example, it's common to see heavy soda drinkers stop drinking soda for a month and then come back to it and find they really don't like it anymore. So a 'refined palate' is actually a thing and something anyone can develop.
Plus, food invokes all the senses, which adds a layer of objectivity not found in other criticisms.
Now certainly there's a level of snobbery. But again, that's true of all critics and really more a result of being overexposed to the mediocre than intentional douchebaggery. I mean, imagine having to sit through the Disney Marvel equivalent to Steakhouse fare every single night. For most people, it's probably a treat. But if after a while, it all starts to seem the same (Like Marvel movies) and a well aged, seasoned, prepared (Or whatever classifies a good steak. I really have no idea.) slice a beef comes off as noteworthy.
The same holds true for wine tasting. Generally speaking, your typical Bob and Judy Saturday night, one-trip-a-year-to-Napa wine testers have no idea what the hell they're talking about. Because the differences in wine are so much more subtle that it takes a lot testing. And some people are naturally better at it than others because of body chemistry/tastebuds. But there are some legit wine tasters out there. I've met a few. It's almost like sorcery.
Plus, food invokes all the senses, which adds a layer of objectivity not found in other criticisms.
Now certainly there's a level of snobbery. But again, that's true of all critics and really more a result of being overexposed to the mediocre than intentional douchebaggery. I mean, imagine having to sit through the Disney Marvel equivalent to Steakhouse fare every single night. For most people, it's probably a treat. But if after a while, it all starts to seem the same (Like Marvel movies) and a well aged, seasoned, prepared (Or whatever classifies a good steak. I really have no idea.) slice a beef comes off as noteworthy.
The same holds true for wine tasting. Generally speaking, your typical Bob and Judy Saturday night, one-trip-a-year-to-Napa wine testers have no idea what the hell they're talking about. Because the differences in wine are so much more subtle that it takes a lot testing. And some people are naturally better at it than others because of body chemistry/tastebuds. But there are some legit wine tasters out there. I've met a few. It's almost like sorcery.
Nope, never met a wine critic.
I can’t judge how elitist they are, tho, simply because I can’t understand anything they say!
Seriously, the wine talk that I have heard, was absolutely incomprehensible. I don’t know what any of it means...
Nothing beats a modern Art Critic. The most pretentious windbags you could imagine!
You're painting in broad strokes here.
"I Choose not to understand these signs"
No, come on. I think what you REALLY meant to say was.....
Nope.
I really don't like that.
It pushes my buttons.
You guys don't. At least not all that much
.
Give it time.
Some modern "painters" don't even use brushes, they just splatter the paint all over the canvas.
Not the Real Name 2013 Cabernet Sauvignon, Sonoma USA - Deep purple colour. Aromas of rich dark currants, nectarine skins, gushing blackberry, but lots of fragrant tobacco, rich soil, white flowers, smashed minerals and metal. Medium-bodied and saucy but racy acidity stabilises the wine nicely with the robust tannins. Deep red currants and ripe cherries, laden with mocha, loamy soil, charred herbs, pencil shavings, roasted hazelnut. Dense like characters that make it perfect for cellaring, however it is drinkable straight away once you expose it to the earth’s atmosphere. This is a delicious Sonoma Cabernet! Has been matured for 24 months in 2 year old 55% Tronçais and 45% Vosges oak. 95 points.Nope, never met a wine critic.
I can’t judge how elitist they are, tho, simply because I can’t understand anything they say!
Seriously, the wine talk that I have heard, was absolutely incomprehensible. I don’t know what any of it means...
1996 KRUG 99+ point - “Light gold. Remarkably perfumed nose projects an exotic bouquet of deep, leesy yellow fruit, minerals, honeycomb, smoked meat and flowers, with Asian spices building expanding in the glass. Almost painfully concentrated, offering a surreal parade of orchard and pit fruits, smoked meat, toasted brioche and marrow braced by intensely salty, stunningly incisive minerality. Imagine a Frankenstein’s monster of Chablis Le Clos and Clos Ste. Hune – but one with perfect balance, of course – and you get an idea of what I found in my bottle. The energetic, stony character builds exponentially on the finish, which didn’t seem to, well, finish. The best analogy I can come up with for the intensity, focus and clarity of this Champagne is liquefied barbed wire. Utterly hallucinatory and one of the most amazing wines I’ve ever been fortunate enough to drink. At the risk of sounding completely out of touch with reality, this is a value.”
2004 Champs - "It’s 60% Cramant, 27.5% Chouilly and 12.5% Cuis. Disgorged 2/10, though showing a rich, classy aroma; this will be wonderful, especially for lovers of filigree, pointillist articulation, rendered with determined length and ultraviolet penetration. A true bubble-head’s Champagne, the ne plus ultra of a jabbing, expressive wine, yet notice the absurdly long tertiary finish. Serious stuff."
coworkers who gossip... 
Pretentious Wine Phrase Generator
"Champs de Picard binds flippant sour cream essences and a robust squid aroma in their 2005 Bordeaux."
"I've been doing a lot of abstract painting. Extremely abstract. No brush, no canvas. I just think about it." - Steven Wright
"Champs de Picard binds flippant sour cream essences and a robust squid aroma in their 2005 Bordeaux."
"I've been doing a lot of abstract painting. Extremely abstract. No brush, no canvas. I just think about it." - Steven Wright
