Things that frequently happen in Star Trek

[BlueStuff]

The engineers are routinely given unreasonable orders. This frequently occurs with O'Brien on DS9 and Geordi on TNG. For example:

SISKO: "How long will it take to fix the warp core?"

O'BRIEN: "About ten hours."

SISKO: "You've got two! Get it done, chief!"

Always makes me chuckle.



What else can we expect to see almost every time we watch Trek?

 

[Admiral Shran]

ANY NON-CAPTAIN CHARACTER: Did you know the captain of (insert the name of any Starfleet ship here), sir?

CAPTAIN: Yes, we went to the Academy together.

It's never - "No, I'm not familiar with that ship or her crew."

 

[Tiberius]

Here's a conversation i can imagine...

PICARD: Geordi, it seems that every time the ship gets hit by an enemies weapons, the ship gets tossed around. Last week poor Ensign Ricky broke his arm!

GEORDI: I know, it's terrible, but I'm not sure...

PICARD: Is there any way to develop some sort of safety system? I was thinking perhaps some kind of restraint built into the seats. Maybe a kind of belt that is attached to the chair at both ends and covers the person sitting in the chair, so that it will hold them in place.

GEORDI: (Thinking) It's a good idea, Captain, but we don't really have the technology for that.

PICARD: CAn you work on it? Poor Mister Crusher is finding it really hard to clean the blood off the dedication plaque...

 

[The Wormhole]

^^The new captain's chair installed on the Enterprise E's bridge in the alternate ending of Nemesis did have seatbelts. Then there those chairs in TMP where the arms fold down to hold a person in.

 

[sbk1234]

ANY NON-CAPTAIN CHARACTER: Did you know the captain of (insert the name of any Starfleet ship here), sir?

CAPTAIN: Yes, we went to the Academy together.

It's never - "No, I'm not familiar with that ship or her crew."

At least in Wrath of Khan Capt. Terrell commented that he'd never even met Admiral Kirk.

 

[Laydin]

The engineers are routinely given unreasonable orders. This frequently occurs with O'Brien on DS9 and Geordi on TNG. For example:

SISKO: "How long will it take to fix the warp core?"

O'BRIEN: "About ten hours."

SISKO: "You've got two! Get it done, chief!"

Always makes me chuckle.

What else can we expect to see almost every time we watch Trek?

Which is why I love B'Elanna when she just say "No Captain. When I say ten I mean ten. I don't exaggerate".

One thing I also find especially on Voyager that when two characters get into a heated discussion usually involving Janeway, JUST when the argument take a turn for the worse with Janeway about to turn on her death stare and mean it, there is always an interruption from the COM or Voyager gets shot by random alien of the week.

 

[ngc7293]

I heard this from a comedy sketch that I have on tape somewhere:
Mr Sulu: Standard Orbit, Captain?
Kirk: No, Mr. Sulu, lay in the weirdest, most bizarre orbit you can imagine. One that will take us dangerously close to the planet and so far away we can't even scan it! Mr. Spock! How many ways are there to be killed on this planet?
Spock checks the computer: Approximately 5 Captain.
Kirk: Ok, you me and FIVE security guards will beam down. Washburn, you and your men go on ahead we'll be along in a minute..............(waits about 5 minutes) Ok that should be long enough, lets go.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Step 1: Starfleet crew enters cave.

Step 2: Cave collapses.

It. Happens. EVERY. TIME.

Why aren't caves banned by Starfleet?

 

[sbk1234]

I heard this from a comedy sketch that I have on tape somewhere:
Mr Sulu: Standard Orbit, Captain?
Kirk: No, Mr. Sulu, lay in the weirdest, most bizarre orbit you can imagine. One that will take us dangerously close to the planet and so far away we can't even scan it! Mr. Spock! How many ways are there to be killed on this planet?
Spock checks the computer: Approximately 5 Captain.
Kirk: Ok, you me and FIVE security guards will beam down. Washburn, you and your men go on ahead we'll be along in a minute..............(waits about 5 minutes) Ok that should be long enough, lets go.

LMAO

 

[Tiberius]

Every time someone gets emotional, they always collapse gasping. Benny Russel did it. neelix did it.

 

[Mr Silver]

Worf getting his ass kicked serves to demonstrate the strength of the episodes villain. In fact there is a trope about this.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Consoles are made of explodium.

The warp core is always on the verge of going critical: all it needs is a stray shot from your friendly local Bird of Prey, or perhaps a little subspace turbulence, and suddenly there's red lights flashing and the engineers have to shout "Coolant leak!" and do dramatic "in before the lock" rolls.

Holodecks seem to have been designed just to give the engineers something to do, as they're constantly breaking down.

Admirals always ruin things, unless they're William Ross.

The shuttles phase in and out of existence, preferring to not exist when they're REALLY NEEEDED ("The Enemy Within").

 

[Wil has a posse]

Kira shooting things should be a trope.

 

[mitchconner]

Consoles are made of explodium.


Holodecks seem to have been designed just to give the engineers something to do, as they're constantly breaking down.

Dangit -- you took two of my things! I mean c'mon -- they can travel hundreds of times faster than the speed of light, slap around the laws of physics every time they use the transporters, but they can't build consoles that don't explode? That always annoyed me.

As for the holodecks -- they don't just break down. They malfunction. I mean, I would give anything to have a real holodeck, but if it continued to malfunction and nearly result in my death half the times I used it, I'd probably find some other way to waste my time. Just the "malfunctioning holodeck" episodes from the top of my head: The Big Goodbye, Elementary Dear Data, A Fistful Of Data's, Ship In The Bottle, Our Man Bashir, Heroes and Demons, Projections, Real Life, Worst Case Scenario, Bride of Chaotica, etc.

Also there's the standard "character becomes obsessed with a holodeck character" episode. It happened to Geordi, Barclay, Commander Riker, Odo, The Doctor, 7 of 9, Tuvok and Harry Kim, and once again, those are only the ones I can remember from the top of my head.

And of course there are the "going on shore leave and falling in love with a mysterious alien" episodes.

And why is it that virtually any two species from the entire galaxy can have a child together? Although this issue was addressed in the classic South Park episode An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig...

God I'm such a nerd.

 

[MacLeod]

The Transporter always breaking down or for some reason never being availble when really really needed.

Warp Core ejection mechanisim never working.

As for repair times, perhaps Sisko was an Engineer at one point and subscribed to the Montgomery Scott school of engineering, multiple your repair estimates by a factor of four. So whe n O'Brien says ten he knows it really means about 2 hours.

And given that space is big, really big so big that it's size is almost unimagianble they always seem to come across some subspace anomoly.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

No matter how many bizarre situations someone's been in there's a good chance they're not going to believe you when you tell them something's amiss.

 

[MacLeod]

No matter how much damage the ship takes, the artifical graveity never fails

 

[Lorthos]

Theres always the pointless episode or two that includes the random crew members no one ever sees and they end up in some sort of crappy situation.

One crew member goes through an identity crisis which drags al the other members along with them.

Plus I find the episodes about the children quite annoying.

Emergency power always fails, pretty crappy when your emergency power fails during an emergency haha.

Almost every species the crew of voyager meets that seem helpful and nice always tries to screw them over.

 

[JiNX-01]

The Captain is always right.

and

Transporters only malfunction during a crisis.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard makes a smartass remark about how people in the 24th century aren't greedy.