TheGodBen Revisits Enterprise

[Seven of Five]

Kickass Archer: 72 (+0)
T'Pol Rape Attempts: 81 (+0)
Mayweather Lines: 2,057,461 (+2)

Nice review!

I really liked In a Mirror Darkly, or at least the first part. I wouldn't say it was the best Mirror Universe episode ever - it's probably better than some of the DS9 offerings later on in that series.

For me, the trap the episode fell into was being a two-parter. There probably wasn't quite enough material to pad the thing out into two hours, but the production of the Constitution class ship had to be spread over the budgets of two episodes in order to make it. I can forgive it for that - the point where the ENT crew are first on the bridge is a magical Trek moment.

It was nice seeing the regular characters out of their usual boundaries. I also loved the alternate opening sequence and dramatic music. Subtlety wasn't really taken into consideration I think.

 

[Reanok]

The Mirror Universe Novel Glass Empire continues the story From In a Mirror Darkly ends. Mike Sussman wrote the story and it's a nice continuation of the story the next Mirror Universe novel has the Enterprise story Nobunga by Dave Stern it's okay but the story isn't as good as the first one in the Mirrior Universe book series.

 

[TheGodBen]

What just happened? One minute I was enjoying a cup of tea while finishing off the next episode of Enterprise, and the next minute I see myself walk into the room, except I'm sporting a sytlish goatee. Goatee Ben hit me over the head and knocked me out stone cold, and when I woke up my PC was on and I was logged into the TrekBBS. I hope Goatee Ben didn't use my account to post those embarrassing pictures of me making love to the tail-pipe of that car.


In a Mirror, Darkly, Part 1 (**)

As far as I can see this two-parter is based around Mike Sussman's original plan for Future Tense; Enterprise finds the USS Defiant after it disappeared in The Tholian Web and this gives Archer and co a chance to fanwank it up on some TOS sets. That plan was rightfully shot down because the continuity issues of Archer finding a Connie were too great, so he came up with the clever idea of doing the same plot but in the mirror universe so that it wouldn't affect the prime timeline.

The problem I have with the first part of this story is that it feels a lot like filler until we get to the Defiant; first Archer mutinies against Captain Forrest, then Forrest counter mutinies against Archer, so we spend the first half hour of this episode with, essentially, nothing happening. It's all style and it is important to differentiate this universe from the one we know, but when your show contains two mutinies which do nothing but maintain the status quo you begin to wonder why you've been watching it for half an hour.

So what did this show teach us that we desperately needed to know? Not much, really. We learned that fat chicks probably aren't welcome in the Terran military. Women that have had babies probably aren't welcome either because of the stretch marks. We learned that T'Pol looks better with long hair, shock horror. We also learned that Hoshi is my dream-girl, if only she'd get into cosplaying.

Nothing important happens in this episode, it's just some dumb fun without real meaning. It's nice to see a Tholian scuttering along, I guess. Since the second episode acts as something of a tribute to TOS maybe I'll enjoy it, because I hadn't watched much of TOS the first time I saw this episode so this will be my first time seeing it as a TOSer.

Nipples Ahoy!: 20

 

[Jimmy Bob]

In a Mirror, Brightly (**)

The premise for this episode is strange because unlike all the other Trek episodes which took place in the mirror universe, this one doesn't contain any crossovers involving our regular, evil cast, instead it is a straightforward plot involving the pansies that inhabit Enterprise in the MU. The teaser is just plain odd, it copies the scene from First Contact, but instead of shooting the invading Vulcans, Cochrane shakes their hand and they go dancing. I'm glad I don't live in that bleeding-heart universe, they probably have some sort of gun control policy.

Then there's the credits which is sickening, to put it mildly. It's all about Terran achievement and having faith of the heart rather than having faith in the Empire. There wasn't a single explosion. I'm glad I don't have to watch this every week, it would drive me mad.

The state of the mirror universe during this era is almost as upsetting as the opening credits; the Terrans are a minor power with only two deep space vessels, and rather than use their technology to rain death down upon the lesser species, they like to explore and be diplomatic. Archer is the captain in this universe (Forrest died a worthless death some months ago saving the life of that scum Soval) and he is very creepy, his hair is fair in colour and Scott Bakula displays some acting ability. T'Pol is still around, but for some reason she is a free person because the Terran Empire hasn't conquered Vulcan yet. Worryingly, she and the other females cover up their stomachs, which makes me worry that none of these women act as consorts in this universe.

The plot centred around Enterprise being sent on a diplomatic mission to Tellar Prime, Archer gets kidnapped and beaten up by a rebellious faction and Lt Reed, who appears to be a homosexual in this universe, rescues him. Why Enterprise didn't just nuke the planet from orbit and allow Archer to die the cowardly death he deserves I'll never know, none of the character's actions in this universe makes any sense to me. The episode ends with Archer making a speech where he fails to threaten the Tellarites with doom, but instead hints at further cooperation in the future.

In terms of style this episode went all out to make the mirror universe appear different. The doors do not have the symbol of the Empire on them, and the lighting is bright and hospitable. The characters in this universe are cheery and enjoy one another's company, there wasn't a single attempt at murder or rape in the entire episode. I appreciate what this episode was trying to do, they tried to show us the horrors of living in this alternate reality, but the whole thing is cheesy and unrealistic. Nobody would ever try diplomacy when instead they can blow things up real bad. This stuff remind me of that horrible rebel crap from Star Trek: Terrok Nor, when Terrans team up with all those aliens to defeat the Alliance. That show was so 90s, I can't believe so many people prefer it to Star Trek: Destroyager.

Kickass Archer: 72 (+0)
T'Pol Rape Attempts: 81 (+0)
Mayweather Lines: 2,057,461 (+2)

Best thing I've read in months.

Wonder how other shows look like in that mirrorverse.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I tend to agree about part 1. When it wasn't mirror universe stuff, it was the little Tholian stuff that was just for the hardcore fans.

That being said, it was entertaining mindless fun and one plot twist that did catch me by surprise (the damaged cloak as a cover for the internal sensors going down was a good move). The biggest thing, I guess, was it showed T'Pol's motives for the second half. Aside from that, it helped a bit to give people an idea what the mirror universe is about (especially for those who might not know).

 

[SRFX]

In A Mirror Darkly? Five stars.

 

[Praetor]

The review by Mirror-GodBen was terrific.

 

[Admiral Shran]

Based on a lot of your reviews for this season, I'm assuming you really don't like continuity porn. Personally, I love it! Give me more, please!

 

[startrekwatcher]

I don't really get the fanwank argument for season 4. I thought the writers did a good job crafting stories that were solid on their own merits but effectively incorporated elements from all of Trek. Everything felt organic--not contrived. And instead of feeling like gratuitous namedropping almost all of the players or continuity flourishes felt wholly appropriate in servicing the story.

IaMD was a solidly entertaining two-parter but I do find that a lot of fans reach when they describe it as a classic. I liked the refreshing idea of solely focusing on the mirror characters, the altered credits, the music, the clever tie-ins to the "Tholian Web" with the rift, the Defiant, the Tholian itself and the web itself, the production was outstanding especially the recreation of the bridge and various other areas of the original ship and the twist with Hoshi being the mastermind behind the mutiny was inspired. I'd give the two-parter 3 stars out of 4.

It wasn't as emotional affecting as "Relics" nor as cleverly done as "Trials and Tribble-ations" but it was enjoyable enough if a bit hollow.

 

[neogothboy74]

^ What they said. I think the 'fanwank' / 'continuity porn' was the best thing about Season 4. It really tied Enterprise to the other Treks, which for me as a fan was something that was severely lacking in the first 3 seasons. Season 4 made Enterprise into Trek for me, and allowed me to enjoy Season 3, which I feel is slightly superior to Season 4, and vastly superior to the first 2 seasons. The only other Trek to pull in various story threads from the separate Treks is DS9 in my opinion, which aside from it's amazingly developed cast of characters, was the other reason I loved DS9. DS9 (and Season 4 of Enterprise) made me feel rewarded for paying attention to Classic / Next Gen and sometimes Voyager. Voyager on the other hand often made me feel like I was being punished for having taken the other Treks seriously. 'Continuity Porn' is what finally made me a fan of Enterprise to the degree that it's my 2nd favorite Trek. And it's what made me ache for new episodes when the show had left the air. For anyone who's a fan of the show I strongly recommend the sequel books: "The Good That Men Do" / "Koybayashi Maru" (by Andy Mangels & Michael A. Martin), "The Romulan War: Beneath the Raptor's Wing" (by Michael A. Martin), "Mirror Universe: Glass Empires: Age of the Empress" (by Mike Susman with Dayton Ward & Kevin Dilmore), "Mirror Universe: Shards and Shadows: No Bunaga" (by Dave Stern), the various other recent Mirror Universe stories, and the Destiny Trilogy (by David Mack).

Also, while I like a lot of the ideas of the Mirror Universe 2-parter (the Tholian Web / Mirror, Mirror set up - the 'First Contact' tie in), I too think it feels slightly hollow, and I remember when it aired that we knew Enterprise had been cancelled and I felt bummed that we had 2 episodes without our characters; I'd have preferred it have been a single episode. Having said that, 1 thing I thought these episodes did a wonderful job with was making the Classic Series tech seem more advanced than Enterprise tech; something that provides a nice transition, just a few episodes later, to anyone who chooses to watch the shows in the order they take place.

 

[TheGodBen]

Wonder how other shows look like in that mirrorverse.

Star Trek: A heavily serialised show about the ISS Enterprise. The first season dealt with Captain Kirk and the war against the genocidal Bolians, but several episodes into season 2 visitors from a mirror universe convince Spock that there is a better way. For the remainder of the season Spock tries to convince Kirk to change his ways, but in the end Spock mutinies and takes control of the ship. Season 3 was about Spock's attempts to unite the various races against the Empire while Kirk assembles a fleet to stop him. The season ended with an unresolved cliffhanger as Kirk retook control of the Enterprise and shot Spock onto an ice-moon using a previously unseen pod.

The Motion Picture: After several executives were killed and eaten by the terrorist Star Trek Fanclub Uprising (STFU), Paramount was pressured into making a motion picture, assisted by the massive financial success of George Lucas' Star Peace. In TMP a giant cloud heads for Earth and Kirk is sent to kick its ass, but when he gets to the centre of it he find that the cloud is built and operated by Spock as part of his attempts to bring down the Empire. Kirk blows up the cloud, but Spock escapes in a spinning fighter vessel.

The Composure of Khan: Spock seeks out former UN Secretary General Khan Noonien Singh, who fled Earth in the late 20th century during the rise of the Empire. Spock and Khan team up and form an exploratory committee to see if creating a peaceful Federation of Planets is viable. The results are inconclusive. Meanwhile, Kirk learns that one of his former rape victims has given birth to his son, and Kirk must kill them both so that he's not forced to pay alimony.

The Rise of Spock: After Kirk used the Revelations Device to kill his family at the end of previous film, Spock travels to the destroyed planet to find out everything he can about the weapon, only to learn that the weapon is flawed and the planet is reforming. He finds the reanimated Carol and David Marcus, they sue Kirk and while he is tied up in court Spock conquers the Empire and forms Spock's Federation of Planets. A committee is set up to consider an alternative name.

The March Home: Kirk makes an alliance with humpback whales and launches a deadly whale fleet towards Earth. Spock's only recourse is to travel back to 1986 and exterminate all the whales with nuclear weapons before they become an interstellar power.

The Penultimate Frontier: Kirk goes to the centre of the galaxy hoping to find God and kidnap him. When Kirk reaches Sha Ka Ree he learns that he actually is God and he has superpowers. He launches an attack upon Spock's Federation of Planets (the commitee was still consulting the public about the name) but then Kirk realises that he's not God, he's Satan, and he blows himself up because of the depression of realising he is ultimate evil. With Kirk dead, Spock shaves off his goatee.

The Short-lived Country: The movie opens with a thrilling scene where the health and safety officials on Praxis order the facility shut down due to poor labour practices. The Cardassians offer the Klingons a new fuel supply and this leads to an alliance against Spock's Federation Funland (a second committee was set up to consider changing the name back). The SFF is conquered and Spock is executed. THE END.


Star Trek - The Slave Generation: This was a show set a century later. It followed the life of a group of SFF slaves onboard the Alliance flagship. The main character was the chief slave, Picard, whose dream was to one day becoming a famous West End actor. Worf was the captain and the show detailed his rise to power to become Regent. Riker was Worf's consort. Data was still around, but he was built in the form of a Cardassian. Troi and Crusher are a lesbian couple for some reason. Geordi was executed at birth for being blind while Wesley was never conceived (because Crusher was a lesbian). The series ended with all the cast, except Worf, dying, which is my excuse for not thinking up of plots for the TSG movies

Star Trek - Terrok Nor: A Babylon 5 rip-off.

Star Trek - Destroyager: In the early days of Sisko's rebellion against the Alliance, a small Terran rebel craft is being chased by an alliance ship when they get pulled to the other side of the galaxy. The two crews agree to work together to get home, but instead evil Janeway backstabs the Alliance and kills and eats them (in a tribute to the fans). She takes control of the Alliance ship and sets out to create a new Terran Empire in the DQ, but to do that she must fight off the highly individualistic Borg.

Star Trek - Enterprise: You've already seen it.


Bugger, I've wasted so much time I this I forgot to write up the next review. Ah well.

 

[Michael]

TheGodBen, I think you just won the internet. Brilliant!

(And as an aisde, I completely agree with your In a Mirror, Darkly review. I liked the bits with the Defiant for sentimental reasons, but other than that the episode felt rather hollow to me. The reason why the other MU episodes worked for me, was because they always presented it from an outside perspective. What's the point in watching evil/stupid versions of our heroes, when nothing of it is contrasted by reasonable characters from the regular universe? At least that's how I felt.)

 

[TheGodBen]

TheGodBen, I think you just won the internet. Brilliant!

The sad thing is that I'd probably watch that Mirror Universe TOS, there's potential there. I'd give up after the first movie though.


In a Mirror, Darkly, Part 2 (***)

Think about it; if this episode had been set aboard some random future ship we'd not seen before and contained sets and costumes that look nothing like those from TOS, what do we have? This is a convoluted mess of a plot which starts off as a battle against the Tholians, then there's a Gorn hunt, then Archer mutinies to make himself Emperor, then there's another mutiny against Archer, then Hoshi mutinies against Archer and proclaims herself Empress. (That's five mutinies in an hour and a half.) This is hardly what I would consider Emmy material, but then again, Avatar is far from best picture material, but all those stupid foreigners seem to think it is. Non-Americans are clueless.

Oh, wait...

So what makes this episode enjoyable for me is seeing an original Constitution class bridge in all its primary-coloured glory, watching T'Pol and others eating colourful cubes of food and hearing the sounds from the classic show once again. But more than all of that, it is great being able to see a Constitution class ship flying past the screen and kicking rebel ass. I've only seen the original episodes of TOS, not the remastered ones, so I'm used to seeing grainy images of the ship, and my impression of a Connie performing evasive manoeuvres is having the camera tilt a little to the side. This episode has really made me want to see TOS Remastered just to see some beauty shots of the ship.

We also get to see a Gorn as the strong, viscous warriors they are, rather than a guy in a rubber suit moving comically slowly.

Nipples Ahoy!: 21

 

[Silvercrest]

What's the point in watching evil/stupid versions of our heroes, when nothing of it is contrasted by reasonable characters from the regular universe?

It was... fun.

 

[D Man]

"Star Trek: Destroyager" is the funniest phrase I've read in a while. Kudos, TheGodBen!

 

[Michael]

What's the point in watching evil/stupid versions of our heroes, when nothing of it is contrasted by reasonable characters from the regular universe?

It was... fun.

Not for me.

 

[Skywalker]

What's the point in watching evil/stupid versions of our heroes, when nothing of it is contrasted by reasonable characters from the regular universe?

It was... fun.

Not for me.

Oh my.

 

[miriel68]

The only thing I liked about In the Mirror was the teaser, may be because there was a possibility that it could have gone this way.
But for the rest, I was not able to see any logical connection between the usual heroes and their mirror counterparts. Why should Hoshi become an ambitious slut, for example? There was nothing in her original character that would justify it. The same thing for other characters. I loved TOS Mirror universe, because evil Spock was still Spock and it was funny to see how he adapted to another system of values. But in this case it was just the same actors interpreting someone completely different.

 

[DevilEyes]

PS: Are you counting the men in this nipple total as well?
Lotta sexy shirtless dudes in Enterprise, more so than the ladies to be sure.

I am counting men, but I'm not counting any scenes which show Scott Bakula topless.

You mean those are not real?

 

[TheGodBen]

You mean those are not real?

If I was only counting real tits the counter would be at less than a third of where it is now.

This is part of my personal vendetta against Scott Bakula for making me feel sad at the end of Quantum Leap. Damn you Bakula!


Demons (***½)

Archer and co find themselves caught in a struggle of ideals between Minister Samuels and Terra Prime leader Paxton, both of whom passionately fight for their point of view, which is why they both act terribly disinterested in the goings on. There is much to like about this episode: we learn more about Earth politics; Terra Prime is a sadly realistic concept; Colonel Green gives a speech; the building blocks of the Federation are further laid; Luna! Fuck yeah! ; a Mars a day helps me work, rest and play. Yes, there's much to enjoy here and build a story around.

But there are also things I dislike, one of which is Section 31 being brought back into play. What was the point of S31 here? After Archer got pissed off at Reed for working with these guys only two weeks ago, why does he think sending Reed to get information from them that he could probably get elsewhere is a good idea? I'm fine with them undoing part of the horrible ending of Divergence, but couldn't they think up of a better way than this?

But the bigger problem I have is the story about Trip and T'Pol's baby which is just another excuse to bring back the Trip/T'Pol angst which I'm sick to the back teeth with. You're not Ross and Rachel, you're not Daphne and Niles, you're not even Riker and Troi. You're Jack and Kate, and the only reason why you're less annoying than Jack and Kate is that they've been pissing me off a year longer than you have. Either hook up or kill one another, because even teenagers would be embarrassed to take part in such a long-running, angsty excuse for a love story.

TRIP: Is it okay? I mean, it's part human and part Vulcan.
PHLOX: Vulcan and human physiology are not all that dissimilar. From the evidence I have, there's no reason to believe she's anything but perfectly healthy.

Vulcans have copper in their blood, humans have iron, how is that similar? Humans have more in common with horses than we do with Vulcans, but I bet a hair sample from a human/horse hybrid wouldn't make you say "Ah, it's probably fine, I wouldn't worry about it." Where's the science advisor when you need him?

Ah, so that's where Andre Bormanis got to. This actually explains a lot about the science on Voyager and Enterprise. I had no idea that being Star Trek's science geek made you so irresistible to the ladies.

JOSIAH: It's estimated that there are at least five thousand unregistered aliens on Earth. Now, another study puts that figure at ten thousand.

That's an astonishingly low number considering the fact that Earth is a planet. Ireland, with a population of almost 4.5 million people, probably has a higher number of illegal aliens living here. Hell, we probably have more actual aliens living here.