The "Where the hell are they?" game

[Asbo Zaprudder]

Give one amusing or scientifically plausible reason per reply why we haven't been contacted by aliens or detected their existence -- the last poster to respond wins a certificate that exempts them from anal probing.

1) They've watched our reality TV broadcasts and the killer robots are already on their way.

 

[Haggis and tatties]

Needle in a haystack comes to mind as to why i think we have not yet found alien life, plus we are still too preoccupied with fighting amongst ourselves on this planet rather than whats happening above our heads.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

They have ETivo and just fast forward through all of our annoying 1-900-CLS-NCTR Phone SETI ads.

 

[Jetfire]

Right here...

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmXQFwlD7vk[/yt]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmXQFwlD7vk


[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I[/yt]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

That Lady Gaga -- first she's a drag queen, now she's an alien -- how versatile of her.

5) They're ignoring us as their translation engine reckons we're trying to flog them a copy of "Big Issue".

 

[RegFan]

They've watched our sci-fi TV shows and films and consider us to be too dangerous to contact.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

They're worried that people will protest them setting up community centers near ground zero in New York, Los Angeles, and Washington DC because they consider them disrespectful after the 7/4 attacks.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

They're in bed with your wife while you are at work.

 

[Australis]

They have seen a broadcast that said the Doctor protects this world.

 

[IDIC]

They have a prime directive but no James Kirk like Captains.

 

[MetalPants]

They think that this is our larval form and are waiting for us to pupate.

 

[TheKeeper]

We happen to live in a "bad neighborhood" of the galaxy, thus the only ones who come here are basically juvenile delinquents on a joyride -- buzzing our planes, cutting up our cows, leaving their gang symbols in our crop fields, etc.

 

[RegFan]

They're contacting us over the internet, but everyone confuses them for trolls.

 

[Nardpuncher]

They want to come but when they see people saying "Why would aliens want to visit our backward world of uncivilized brutes?" and figured we're in our Emo stage and decide to wait till we stop whining.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

15) They're more interested in surfing galactic porn sites than hanging out with a bunch of Forest Gump retards.

 

[Nardpuncher]

15) They're more interested in surfing galactic porn sites than hanging out with a bunch of Forest Gump retards.

Check my post one above.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

Similar but not the same -- have a free certificate against being covered head to foot in warm goo.

 

[Holdfast]

They're already here, but can't see well out of their human exoskins, so keep getting run over at busy intersections.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

It turns out we're the first ones -- who get dibs on being Cthulhu?

 

[LitmusDragon]

Because we are like the buzzing of flies to them!