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The Rules of Acquisition

Yes. There's a surprising number of them that are spot on, and I've used them more often in life than you might expect. These are the ones that I personally have used or continue to use...


#3 - Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.

#7 - Keep your ears open.

#8 - Small print leads to large risk.

#16 - A deal is a deal.

#48 - The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.

#59 - Free advice is seldom cheap.

#190 - Hear all, trust nothing.

#208 - Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.

#214 - Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.

#217 - You can't free a fish from water.

#285 - No good deed ever goes unpunished.


(I'm not 100% certain that the numbering of all of them is accurate, but I am certain they are at least close. And I am completely certain these are all actual Rules of Acquisition.)
 
Well, obviously. Here's a race that's based on greed and maximizing profit. Of course many of their financial rules are going to make some actual sense if you want the race to be even somewhat plausible in the first place (though you may object to some of them morally). Except for those that were obviously meant to serve as caricature or comedic relief.
 
A lot of the rules that I have used in my life actually don't have anything to do with getting profit. Like #7 and #190 as examples, it's sound advice for everything in life.
 
Quark actually has a great school essay about Rule 99 (Trust is the biggest liability of all). I couldn't find it online, but here's the gist.

"I told my father where I hid my birthday platinum. When I went to get it, it was gone. He took it. I trusted my father.

"I loaned my brother Rom my Marauder Mo action figure. He lost the plasma whip. Not only will Mo be unable to defend himself now, but the resale value of the figure has been vastly reduced. I trusted Rom.

"I told my friend how to oo-mox himself. He told my moogie on me. She put numbing ointment on my ears for a month. I trusted my friend.

"You left me alone in the classroom yesterday to clean the display unit. You thought your drawers were locked, but I am a very good lockpick. I found those photos of you talking to clothed females and letting them talk to you. You are clearly a major degenerate and should not be teaching children, but I will be willing to forget all this if you pay the three strips of latinum a month for the rest of my time at school.

"You trusted me. Trust is BAD."


Unsurprisingly, Quark received an A on the essay. ;)
 
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I know that in the early days of "TNG", the Ferengi were originally written to be serious villains. But the audience didn't take it that way, so over time the characters were made more comedic - that's how we eventually got Quark.

I can't think of any moment in my life, where I've personally put the Rules of Acquisition into practice, but its still a very funny concept. I remember one episode, where a high-ranking Ferengi decides to rewrite them all, and his comrades were horrified beyond reason. I laughed my head off over that.
 
It is my head cannon to this day that the Prophets didn't change Zek all the way back. A mere few years later, he introduces women's rights, charity, taxation, and checks & balances to Ferengi society. Coincidence? I think not!
 
Finding true love and seeing kindness and fairness modeled by the one you love, plus developing a desire for that special someone to be happy, goes a long way towards encouraging something that you already had a nagging feeling in your conscience that you ought to do.
 
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Finding true love and seeing kindness and fairness modeled by the one you love, plus developing a desire for that special someone to be happy, goes a long way towards encouraging something that you already had a nagging feeling in your conscience that you ought to do.

But there was no sign in Zek's previous appearances that he cared a rat's hind end for women's rights, health care, retirement, welfare, or representative government.
 
She convinced him it was lucrative. Ishka speaks his language - latinum. Zek's prejudice was easily toppled by love and a few well-placed words. Either that, or he still believes it's not great, but can't argue with the possible financial benefits.
 
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While not purposefully, there's definitely quite a few that I apply in general either as a way I do things or as a sort of warning of what others may do.

Once you have their money, you never give it back. - I use this one both ways. From my own work perspective, yes i'll do anything I can to NOT give money back. I also assume once I have given my money, I won't be getting it back.

Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. obvious.

Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. I don't take this as a negative, but like, if you can get a lucrative career change that means you need to relocate... don't let family stand in the way, take the job.

Keep your ears open. Listening is absolutely crucial.

Small print leads to large risk. Indeed it does.

Greed is eternal. More of a warning. There is one true constant in this world, it's greed. Greed will never go away.

It never hurts to suck up to the boss. Especially in a corporate setting. Good advice.

The riskier the road, the greater the profit. Largely obvious too.

Your boss is only worth what he pays you A really odd one to be a rule of Acquisition for the Ferengi, but... very true. Perhaps deepest of them all. It's important to employees to know this, but also the boss... you want good people? Pay them.

Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them. somewhat ironic given the last one, but... also true as a warning. People will absolutely step on you to get ahead.

A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. I don't believe this myself, but society in general seems to think so. It's good to remember that.
 
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