The "pants" Trek dialog game

[Kor]

Once again, it's time for the famous "pants" dialog game!

Take a line of dialog from any Trek series or movie, and replace one word or phrase with the word "pants" for quirky results.

From TOS Amok Time:
T'pau: Live long and prosper, Spock.
Spock: I shall do neither. I have killed my captain... and my pants.

From ST:ID:
Khan: Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time, and for that, he needed a warrior's pants. My pants.

From TWOK:
Spock: Each starship has its own unique combination code.
Kirk: To prevent an enemy from doing what we're attempting. Using our console to order Reliant to lower her pants.

From FC:
Picard: Ahab spent years hunting the white whale that crippled him; but in the end, it destroyed him and his pants.

Kor

 

[Melakon]

Take a line of dialog from any Trek series or movie, and replace one word or phrase with the word "pants" for quirky results.

It's like a David Letterman routine.

From TOS: Dagger of the Mind---
NOEL: Doctor Helen Noel, Captain. We've met. Don't you remember the science lab Christmas party?
KIRK: Yes, I remember.
NOEL: You dropped pants.
KIRK: Yes, yes, I remember.

From TOS: The Trouble with Tribbles---
CHEKOV: Hey! He's eating my pants.
BARMAN: That'll be ten credits.

From TOS: Spock's Pants---
MCCOY: We just want to talk to somebody about Spock's pants. That's all.
KARA: Pants and pants! What is pants?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: There's pants in that nebula.

 

[Green Shirt]

Turnabout Intruder:
Coleman: "Doctor Lester is near death."
Kirk: "Perhaps the shock of knowing what happened to her pants is part of her problem."


Elaan of Troyius:
PETRI: Those are my orders. I must ask you and your pants to respect, or at least tolerate, their pants. Pants must be kept at a minimum.

 

[Nerys Myk]

The Alternative Factor

SPOCK: Captain, the universe is safe.
KIRK: For you and me. But what of pants? What of pants?

 

[Kor]

From TUC:

Spock: The pants [have] been compromised.
McCoy: I wonder how bad.

Kor

 

[Nerys Myk]

GUARDIAN:Pants. Since before your sun burned hot in space and before your race was born, I have awaited pants.

 

[Kor]

All from ST09:

McCoy: Yeah, well, I got no where else to go. The ex-wife took the whole d@mn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my pants.

Spock Prime: Spock, in this case, do yourself a favor: Put aside pants. Do what feels right.

Spock: In the face of extinction, it is only logical that I resign my pants and help rebuild our race.

Spock: Doctor, I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my pants on the grounds that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log.

Kor

 

[Melakon]

TNG: The First Duty

PICARD: The first duty of every Starfleet officer is to the pants. Whether it's scientific pants, or historical pants, or personal pants. It is the guiding principle upon which Starfleet is based.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TNG: Q Who

PICARD: You wanted me to say I need pants? I NEED PANTS!

 

[The Wormhole]

TOS Spock's Brain

"Pants and pants! What is pants?"

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Time's Arrow

TROI: Pants was eliminated on earth a long time ago, and a lot of other things disappeared with it. Hopelessness, despair, cruelty.

Various Klingon dialog:

K'MPEC: Find the assassin. The Klingon who would kill without showing his face has no pants. He must not lead the Empire. Such a man would be capable of anything.

KURN: Together, we will restore the family pants.
KURN: A Klingon's pants mean more to him than his life.
WORF: Why would you ask me to lay aside the pants of my father, my family?!

sed s/honor/pants/ AllKlingonEpisodes

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

We are the Borg. Lower your pants and surrender your ships.

 

[Random_Spock]

From TOS, Amok Time:

Spock: Would you beam down to the planet's pants and stand with me? There is a brief ceremony.
James T. Kirk: Is it permitted?
Spock: It is my right. By tradition, the male is accompanied by his closest friends.
James T. Kirk: Thank you, Mr. Spock.
Spock: I also request Dr. McCoy accompany me.
Leonard McCoy: I shall be honored, sir.

 

[HIjol]

From Star Trek II

Dr. Carol Marcus to David,

"I don't think there's another piece of information we could squeeze into (those) pants. Next time, we'll design a bigger pair of pants"

 

[Nerys Myk]

First line

The Cage

SPOCK: Check the pants

Last line

Turnabout Intruder

KIRK: Her pants could have been as rich as any woman's, if only. If only.

 

[Kor]

All from ST:ID:

Spock: You are suggesting the admiral violated every regulation he vowed to uphold simply because he wanted to exploit your intellect?
Khan: He wanted to exploit my pants!

Khan: He used my pants to control me. I tried to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed, but I was discovered.

Spock Prime: Mr. Spock.
Spock: Mr. Spock.
Spock: I will be brief. In your pants, did you ever encounter a man named Khan?

Khan: Shall I destroy you, Mr. Spock? Or will you give me what I want?
Spock: We have no transporter capabilities.
Khan: Fortunately, mine are perfectly functional. Drop your pants.
Spock: If I do so, I have no guarantee you will not destroy the Enterprise.

TOS The Doomsday Machine:

Kirk: Matt, where's your pants?
Decker: On the third planet.
Kirk: There is no third planet.
Decker (in hysterics): Don't you think I know that? There was, but not anymore!

Kor

 

[BeatleJWOL]

"They are not the hell your pants."

 

[HIjol]

Star Trek III

Scotty:
The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the pants.

McCoy:
There aren't gonna be any damned pants! How can you get pants to do a damned illegal thing? Look, price you name, no pants I got.

Lieutenant Saavik:
How many have paid the price for your pants? How many have died? How much Pants have you done, and what is yet to come?

Star Trek IV

Klingon Ambassador: Vulcans are well-known as the intellectual pants of this Federation.

Klingon Ambassador: [proudly] We deny nothing. We have the right to preserve our Pants.

Interrogator: Ok, let's take it from the top.Pavel Chekov: The top of what?Interrogator: Pants.Chekov: My Pants?Interrogator: [sarcastically] No, my Pants!Chekov: I do not know your Pants.Interrogator: You play Pants with me mister, and you're through!Chekov: I am? May I go now?

 

[HIjol]

"They are not the hell your pants."