Greetings, pageant viewers! We of the pageant committee have been slaving away, and we do mean slaving, trying to get this next pageant broadcast to you in a timely fashion, but having a beauty contest on Bajor has proven to be...problematic. Among the Vedek Assembly, the Bajoran Provisional Government, and some wacky group calling themselves the Alliance for Global Unity, we had our hands full bribing (Placating!)...er, yes, placating everyone so that we could get this off the ground. On the positive side, you can view this pageant with a good conscience, knowing that our efforts have provided warm blankets and nourishing food for thousands of brats (War orphans, you jerk!)...of course, I meant war orphans. Let's meet our stunning contestants.
1.) First out of the gate is she of the flowing locks and feisty temper, Miss First Minister, Shakaar Edon! This isn't Shakaar's first dog and pony show when it comes to competition and fighting for what she wants. She led a premier resistance cell during the long Cardassian Occupation, and she is still fighting to make Bajor a better place for Bajorans to this day!
2.) Our second contestant comes straight to us from the Vedek Assembly. Once they found out the Provisional Government was sending a contestant, they positively insisted! Please welcome a raven haired beauty who while soft spoken knows how to get the job done right, Miss Vedek Assembly, Bareil Antos!
3.) As part of our arrangement with the various Bajoran factions, we were forced to allow the head of the Alliance for Global Unity to make an entry, even though the government assured us they do not recognize them as an official authority. There were...threats. We'll leave it at that. Silver fox and all around weasel-- (What are you doing?! Let me do this! Here's the lovely, august, and understated Miss Alliance for Global Unity, Jaro Essa!)
4.) No line up of Bajorans of note would be complete without the most beloved of all, the heroine of the Bajoran Resistance, Miss Hutet, Li Nalas! We particularly salute Li for her obvious enthusiasm for being here and, best of all, her Purple Hat! (Just don't tell her it's manly.)
5.) Our last contestant was a late comer to the line up. She barely squeaked by our registration deadline. We're honestly not sure who she is, and we have a sneaking suspicion that we've seen her somewhere before. We just don't know where. Kai Winn vouched for her, so that has to be good enough for us. Please welcome Miss Relliketh, Anjohl Tennan!
Catapault one of these lovely ladies into the "Miss" Universe Pageant with your enthusiastic votes. The pageant just wouldn't be complete without Bajor represented. They made us say that. You may vote for two of your favorites.
1.) First out of the gate is she of the flowing locks and feisty temper, Miss First Minister, Shakaar Edon! This isn't Shakaar's first dog and pony show when it comes to competition and fighting for what she wants. She led a premier resistance cell during the long Cardassian Occupation, and she is still fighting to make Bajor a better place for Bajorans to this day!
2.) Our second contestant comes straight to us from the Vedek Assembly. Once they found out the Provisional Government was sending a contestant, they positively insisted! Please welcome a raven haired beauty who while soft spoken knows how to get the job done right, Miss Vedek Assembly, Bareil Antos!
3.) As part of our arrangement with the various Bajoran factions, we were forced to allow the head of the Alliance for Global Unity to make an entry, even though the government assured us they do not recognize them as an official authority. There were...threats. We'll leave it at that. Silver fox and all around weasel-- (What are you doing?! Let me do this! Here's the lovely, august, and understated Miss Alliance for Global Unity, Jaro Essa!)
4.) No line up of Bajorans of note would be complete without the most beloved of all, the heroine of the Bajoran Resistance, Miss Hutet, Li Nalas! We particularly salute Li for her obvious enthusiasm for being here and, best of all, her Purple Hat! (Just don't tell her it's manly.)
5.) Our last contestant was a late comer to the line up. She barely squeaked by our registration deadline. We're honestly not sure who she is, and we have a sneaking suspicion that we've seen her somewhere before. We just don't know where. Kai Winn vouched for her, so that has to be good enough for us. Please welcome Miss Relliketh, Anjohl Tennan!
Catapault one of these lovely ladies into the "Miss" Universe Pageant with your enthusiastic votes. The pageant just wouldn't be complete without Bajor represented. They made us say that. You may vote for two of your favorites.
This is the best so far.
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And - much as it pains me to say that - I am afraid that some of our contestants don't exactly meet those requirements.
And I ask you: is she an appropriate role model, and is that the message we want to be sending to young and not-so-young women on Bajor and everywhere? I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I would not want the reputation of this Pageant to be tainted by as much as a semblance of nepotism and impropriety...
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